Parenting with Grace {book review}

As I fell asleep last night I prayed about what God wanted me to share this morning and as I began to drift off to sleep, this book came to mind and I felt like that was direction I was supposed to go in.  If I needed confirmation, my "on this day" feature on Facebook had this photo from a few years ago!  How awesome is that?

If I had to choose one book that formed my parenting style, it would be this one.  It has been the most helpful and useful book for me.  Why? Well, I will give you the gist of it.

From this book I learned to let kids be kids.  To extend to them the grace of being children and not expect them to be little adults.  One of the main premises of this book is to differentiate between a heart problem and a behavior problem.  We cannot, as parents, make everything the hill we will die on, the thing we will fight for or make everything an argument.  The danger in doing that is making ourselves white noise in the backgrounds of our children.  If we criticize everything they do and constantly nit pick, how will they ever know that what is important? They won't, because we make a big deal about everything.  That's exhausting for all involved.

There is a difference between choosing to disobey and getting distracted and forgetting to do something.

It made a HUGE difference in our household when we began to learn how to deal with heart issues differently than behavioral ones.  Heart issues need a deeper level of instruction.  They need infusion of biblical principals, life lessons, etc.  THESE are the things worth making a big deal about.  Bullying, name calling, stealing, cheating, back talk, purposeful disobedience....these things come from the heart of the kid and likely something else is going on that they need help dealing with.  These things define their character.

Running around, being loud, making a mess, lolly gagging, daydreaming, long hair, choice of clothes, etc...these are not heart issues.  This is childhood.  Kids will be messy and crazy and wild.  Our job here is to help them learn how to recover from these things.  Make a mess? Let's clean it up.   These are not things that stem from something in their hearts, these are behaviors that all kids exhibit.  These things do not define their character.  

It's a little difficult to explain, but if you are looking for a parenting book that will literally make parenting easier, this is the one for you! I love the principles shared here and we have used them for years now.  Even to this day I will say to Doug "It's not a heart issue" and we know how to go about handling it.

I fully believe that our household is more peaceful because of this book.  Our children are generally responsive when we correct them or ask them to do something because not everything is a thing and they know if we say it, it's important.

Check it out! You can buy a copy HERE. Grace-Based Parenting

Enjoy your weekend!  

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