what i wish i could tell you. vol. 2. num. 2

 Welcome to "What I wish I could tell you"...an anonymous platform for bloggers to share what they don't feel free to share on their own blogs.  If you have a story/thought/ache/hurt/feeling/secret/prayer request you want to get out, feel free to email me at crystal @ littlebitfunky.com.  

You will remain anonymous to all but me unless you choose otherwise. 

The author of this entry has chosen to stay anonymous.  Say hello to anonymous number 2.

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What I wish I could tell you is that today is one of the biggest days of my life.  Today I am summoning all my courage and all my strength to send an email to the man who molested me when I was a little girl.  In the email I'm telling him how he obliterated my self esteem and my ability to trust.  I'm telling him that I know now that it wasn't my fault, even though I believed that for a long time.  I'm telling him that for me sex has been a huge obstacle in my life.  Those first encounters with sex scarred me and I've never been able to have a normal sexual relationship, not even with my husband.  I'm telling him that he hurt me in a way that I can't even put into words, a way that aches deep down in my heart and soul.
And I'm also telling him that I'm trying forgive him.
So, this is an incredibly special and terrifying day for me and no one even really knows.  So, what I wish I could tell you is - pray for me.
- Anonymous

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