candy bowl

Some time ago I wrote a post about sharing. 
I had had some recent issues with people copying "my" work and it bugged me.  I realized that the best way to defeat that annoyance was to just get over it and give permission to people to use any tutorial I write at will to create and make and do to their hearts content.  And I meant it.  Any tutorial I post here is a gift from me to you.  I hope they inspire you to make a million and one wonderful things...that lead to other wonderful things and on and on.

Any tutorial I post here is something that I will refer to as "free candy bowl" items.

Let me explain.

Let's say I owned a brick and mortar store.  Set in the downtown of the place you live.  Filled with one of a kind things that you can't find anywhere else because I made them myself from my own patterns and processes.  Say in that store, near that checkout counter I kept a bowl of candy.  All sorts of little candies that I kept there for my customers to have and sample for free.  No strings attached...just there for you, if you come in my shop...whether you buy anything or not they are there for you.   They are there just because I love my customers and I like to give a little something back. 

Say you came in my shop and thought...well she is giving away candy, so she won't mind if I take a thing or two off the shelves.  Since she IS giving that candy away and all.  That should be OK.  You don't ask if this is OK...you just do it.  Lots of people do it.  Repeatedly.

No one would think twice if I confronted the thief or even called the cops.  Right?  What if it was a Christian based business?  Still perfectly normal to call the cops and confront the thief, right?

Since I wrote that post some time ago, a lot has changed.  My business has grown and changed.  I am always trying to improve things and have made many changes, some seen and some unseen.  The biggest change or event is that I have gained a copyright on my hohos.  In all of their shapes and forms.  A legal outright protection from anyone taking my idea and running with it. 

Why did I do this with my hohos and nothing else?  Because honestly, most of the items I make are "candy bowl" type items that I have merely put my touch on...pillows, Christmas ornaments, signs, bags, flowers, dresses, etc.  Items that are all made in a million different ways by a million different people.  My hohos are different.  They are an idea that sprung from my mind and created by an idea that I have not seen elsewhere.  Just like a song is specific to a songwriter or a painting is specific to an artist...these hohos are specific to me.  I did not create them from looking at someone else's tutorial.  I did not use anyone else's pattern nor did I glean inspiration from a stuffed animal in my boys' collection.  The hoho is specific to ME.   Hohos are NOT "candy bowl" items.     

I get emails all the time from people looking out for me about bloggers and etsy shops selling items identical to my hohos.  So identical that it is clear that they saw mine and duplicated it.  And yes I DO, kindly inform them of my copyright and ask that they please stop.  And usually I get a kind response back...telling me that they are embarrassed to have done what they've done and they apologize.  And I move on and so do they.  And I think part of why that usually goes so smoothly is that I am suddenly a HUMAN being to them, with feelings and no longer some vague figure on the internet.   I approach them as kindly as I can with a hurt heart.  Bottom line is, stealing is wrong.

Because let me tell you, it's not about someone selling one of my items and making money from it.  Though, if anyone is going to have a toy line with Mattel or Fisher Price with MY hohos it will be me.  No, more than the money, it's the dishonestly that goes along with it.  It genuinely hurts my feelings that someone would take my idea and try to pass it off as their own.  They wouldn't do that to their best friend but the anonymity of the internet oftentimes makes it easier to do things that we wouldn't otherwise do to "real" people.  Some will say that it is accidental...but if you read my blog and frequent my shop...you will not convince me that you fell into your sewing machine and out came a hoho that looks just like mine.

And I am not greedy.  People HAVE written to ask me if they could make a few to give as gifts...people with NO blogs or anything...NO WAY for me to know that they have done it other than them volunteering the information and treating me they way they would their friend...and I have given my blessing.

This business is MY livelihood.  I hope to continue to grow it and grow it until maybe one day I HAVE a brick and mortal store.  If I have to stop a thief THEN I will.  And I maintain the right to do that now. I won't go into the Christian side of this too much...because honestly, I think it's terribly naive to think that because I love Jesus, that means you can walk all over me and have me do nothing to stop it.  Will I still be kind to you? Yes.  Will I be respectful and gracious? Yes.  Will I do my best to ensure that HOW I handle myself will not bring myself or my family shame?  Yes.  Will I stop people from stealing what is mine?  You bet.  Will I fail at all of these things sometimes?  Yes.  But I don't feel that I need to defend myself much here because the great Defender will take care of it.  I will just do my best to ensure that my actions bring Him honor.  

In the meantime, I would love for everyone to keep in mind that if you are reading a blog, any blog, that there is a REAL person behind it.  There is a real person behind every unique item for sale.  There is a REAL person behind this blog.  There is a real person behind my hohos.  I am a mom and a wife and a sibling to many.  I am kind and loving to others...I am generous with time and resources.  I love Jesus.  My feelings get hurt.  I cry.  I laugh until I nearly pass out.  I love Starbucks and fabric.  I forget to respond to emails.  I love to bake.  I have fat pants.  I worry about all the same things ANY woman worries about like feeding my family well or screwing up my children or if anyone noticed me wearing a shirt with someone elses snot on it.  I just want to be treated with respect and honesty.  

And I bet the same is true for any mommy blogger and shop owner, brick and mortar or internet.

I can speak up for myself AND love Jesus too.

because i really REALLY like to answer your questions...

if you have ever asked me a question and thought i ignored you...i promise i did not.  chances are that i tried to find you and couldn't get an email address...check out this post at Pleasant Home to find out how to make it easier for your favorite bloggers to answer your questions. :)

pretty please.  because i really do like to answer your questions. 

:)

the weight of it.

as with anything, i guess, there comes a time when you have to sit down and do a real gain and loss analysis of what you are doing.  to really sit and contemplate whether the things that you gain through a venture are worth the things that you lose. 

recently i have had to do that with this blog.  i had no idea when i started this blog...three and a half years ago how far it would take me or how much it would grow me as a person. 

my original goal was to document the lives of my children.  to capture the day to day events that may not make it into the photo albums otherwise.  the little things...the crazy things...the fun and hard things.  

what it has turned into is SO much more than that.  

this is my journal.  my growth chart.  the documentation of my life as a mom, small business owner, wife, follower of Jesus, chef, organizer and every other aspect that makes up my crazy life.  

my policy is and always has been authenticity and transparency.  and i've learned that those qualities, if they aren't something that a person is used to can be tough to adjust to.  to me, there is no room in life for fluff or fake.  when i startd this blog, i wanted my kids to read about the real me...not the watered down, betty crocker, susy homemaker that i wish i could be.  some people, and they are totally entitled to their opinions and ways of doing things, prefer to have pretty blogs where they skim the surface and talk about surface things...topics that could be posted on ANY blog anywhere because there is no depth to what they are saying.  and some people need that, i suppose, and i get it. 

for me.  and this is just me.  there is much more power in empowering each other through the "me too".  sharing the good, the bad and the ugly gives others a chance to relate and unite under the flag of "thank goodness this is happening to someone else too". 

isn't it MUCH easier to approach someone you know has been or is broken too...than it is to approach someone who has an "i have it all together, look how pretty my life is" appearance? 

maybe it's just me...but the blogs i love the most are the ones with DEPTH, who share REAL life, who aren't afraid to talk about the tough, long road they are on with God...or who aren't afraid to talk about God for real...in any real way.  

what good does it do to say you are a Christian blogger and never ever talk about how you are learning to walk with Christ?   it's like calling yourself a chef and then teaching others to cook ramen noodles.  i think Jesus had something to say about being lukewarm. 

my favorite Christan bloggers are those who say "me too".  who let you in and share the struggle that it is to be a lover of Jesus.  because that is how it IS.  if following Jesus is easy...than either i am doing something wrong or a lot of people i come across just want it to look that way.

i say, communication is everything.

with all of that being said.  there is a cost that comes with it.  

i've learned the hard way that people feel free to let you know terrible you are.  people have said things to me that i know they would never say to my face.  they lay out a list of issues they have with me and back them up with fictional things about me.  and you know what...even false words hurt.  

but over time i have learned...to take these criticisms to the people i trust and say "show me the truth in them"...and i have learned, in general, things said in secret rarely have truth in them.  and more often than not...the "issue" they have with you is really an issue they have with themselves.  

and that is the cost of having an open blog.  and for some reason...the ugly weighs more

BUT the gain is beautiful.  the gain is most likely you.  you darling and wonderful people who choose to love me and learn with me and grow with me.  i have met and befriended people that i never would have met any other way.  God has used this blog in ways i never imagined...i've been able to help others in ways i've never thought possible...i've been given friendships and new skills and encouragement when i need it.  i've been able to contribute to my family finances.  it's been a crazy web of blessings that i never could have woven without this blog.  i can't count the times that just at the perfect moment...an email shows up...or a package at my door...or a comment..all because of people who know me through this blog.  and on top of all of that...i HAVE documented the lives of my children and that to me is priceless.     

and even though the ugly weighs more...the beautiful is so much more plentiful that most times i don't even notice the ugly.  imagine a pebble in a bag of rice...you notice it at first but eventually, with a little shake, the rice covers over it.   

and i can handle a little shake here and there. 

(come back later for a link up post where you can leave a link to your blog and we can visit each other. :) )

xo

 

haters gonna hate.

 I found this article, via Tim Ferriss, some time ago and read it again today...it's GREAT advice for bloggers and those of us who share via some form of social media.  It reminded me of a few things that I need to keep in mind...I hope you enjoy it too...

1. It doesn’t matter how many people don’t get it. What matters is how many people do.

“It’s critical in social media, as in life, to have a clear objective and not to lose sight of that,” Ferriss says. He argues that if your objective is to do the greatest good for the greatest number of people or to change the world in some small way (be it through a product or service), you only need to pick your first 1,000 fans — and carefully. “As long as you’re accomplishing your objectives, that 1,000 will lead to a cascading effect,” Ferriss explains. “The 10 million that don’t get it don’t matter.”

2. 10% of people will find a way to take anything personally. 

Expect it.

“People are least productive in reactive mode,” Ferriss states, before explaining that if you are expecting resistance and attackers, you can choose your response in advance, as opposed to reacting inappropriately. This, Ferriss says, will only multiply the problem. “Online I see people committing ’social media suicide’ all the time by one of two ways. Firstly by responding to all criticism, meaning you’re never going to find time to complete important milestones of your own, and by responding to things that don’t warrant a response.” This, says Ferriss, lends more credibility by driving traffic.

3. “Trying to get everyone to like you is a sign of mediocrity.” (Colin Powell)

“If you treat everyone the same and respond to everyone by apologizing or agreeing, you’re not going to be recognizing the best performers, and you’re not going to be improving the worst performers,” Ferriss says. “That guarantees you’ll get more behavior you don’t want and less you do.” That doesn’t mean never respond, Ferriss goes on to say, but be “tactical and strategic” when you do.

4. “If you are really effective at what you do, 95% of the things said about you will be negative.” (Scott Boras)

“This principle goes hand-in-hand with number two,” Ferriss says. “I actually keep this quote in my wallet because it is a reminder that the best people in almost any field are almost always the people who get the most criticism.” The bigger your impact, explains Ferriss (whose book is a New York Times, WSJ and BusinessWeek bestseller), and the larger the ambition and scale of your project, the more negativity you’ll encounter. Ferriss jokes he has haters “in about 35 languages.”

5. “If you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid.” (Epictetus)

“Another way to phrase this is through a more recent quote from Elbert Hubbard,” Ferriss says. “‘To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.” Ferriss, who holds a Guinness World Record for the most consecutive tango spins, says he has learned to enjoy criticism over the years. Ferriss, using Roman philosophy to expand on his point, says: “Cato, who Seneca believed to be the perfect stoic, practiced this by wearing darker robes than was customary and by wearing no tunic. He expected to be ridiculed and he was, he did this to train himself to only be ashamed of those things that are truly worth being ashamed of. To do anything remotely interesting you need to train yourself to be effective at dealing with, responding to, even enjoying criticism… In fact, I would take the quote a step further and encourage people to actively pursue being thought foolish and stupid.”

6. “Living well is the best revenge.” (George Herbert)

“The best way to counter-attack a hater is to make it blatantly obvious that their attack has had no impact on you,” Ferriss advises. “That, and [show] how much fun you’re having!” Ferriss goes on to say that the best revenge is letting haters continue to live with their own resentment and anger, which most of the time has nothing to do with you in particular. “If a vessel contains acid and you pour some on an object, it’s still the vessel that sustains the most damage,” Ferriss says. “Don’t get angry, don’t get even — focus on living well and that will eat at them more than anything you can do.”

7. Keep calm and carry on.

The slogan “Keep Calm and Carry On” was originally produced by the British government during the Second World War as a propaganda message to comfort people in the face of Nazi invasion. Ferriss takes the message and applies it to today’s world. “Focus on impact, not approval. If you believe you can change the world, which I hope you do, do what you believe is right and expect resistance and expect attackers,” Ferriss concludes. “Keep calm and carry on!””

That was enlightening.

define: ridiculous.

This is around the corner from my house.  

That is a duplex.  The line down the middle goes all the way down to the street.

Almost...but not quite as ridiculous as people insisting that I am not entitled 

to having and sharing my opinion on my very own blog. 

You will never read a purposely hurtful word here.  But that does not mean that I will not share my opinions.  About my life.  And my experiences.  It is after all MY blog. 

Because I share a like doesn't mean that you have to like it.

I am not a blog that tries to paint a picture that EVERYONE will love all the time.  I paint my own.  I paint a real picture because that is what I would want from others.  If I tried to avoid topics that would hurt anyone because of some individual pain then I could never talk about:

my children (because some don't have them), my husband (because some don't have great ones), my successful business, my house, my struggles, my hurt, my dreams, the fun new things I bought or the things I want, the things I make, that I want to move, that I get to stay at home, that my husband has a great job, that people hurt my feelings, that I hate where I live, that I don't want more children, that I want a craft room...I couldn't talk about my experiences or growths ever. 

It would be a pretty boring place to read and visit.  If you want that read the dictionary.

If you like real and sometimes different and sometimes the same...sometimes relate-able and sometimes not...then welcome and know that I would never intentionally be ugly.  I am accountable to too many people to ever be purposefully hurtful here. 

And I stand by my belief, that anything worth saying is worth signing your name to.  

That includes comments.  

on being a good blogger. aka blogging etiquette.

(this photo has nothing to do with this post...but this is what hoho does every times he sees me trying to photograph a product...naturally he assumes that i want him in the photo).

Some time ago I asked for your input on what makes a good blogger...otherwise known as blogging etiquette.  I got tons of great feedback...via comments and emails.  

And the basic theme I saw time and time again was...don't do online what you would never do to someones face. 

For example...would you scream at someone who is standing three feet from you? 

Then don't type in CAPS.  It baffles me to that some people still don't know that ALL CAPS equals SCREAMING.

Would you walk up to a complete stranger and tell them how much they suck/how much you hate their hair/clothes/religion/decor? 

No? Then don't go to someones blog and leave a nasty comment...especially if you must to do it anonymously.  You know...if you can't say something nice...then don't say it anonymously.  

Would you send follow a friend around waving a letter at them that they HAD to read? 

No?  Then don't forward every blog post to your contact list.  Let Google reader do it's job.  

I was amazed at both how many times this came up AND how many people don't know what Google Reader is. Google it.  Thank me later. 

 Include photos.  People like to see things.  It's true. :) I for one, am far less likely to read too far in a blog with no photos...I'm a visual kind of person...maybe it's because I still have kids who read picture books? But photos, like the photo above...which also has nothing to do with this post...provide interest and get you to smile a little...right?

As a blog reader...I think the thing to remember...is that behind every blog there is a person.  

With feelings and friends and family.  Each and every one of us has good days and bad ones.  We all have highs and lows in life and I, for one like to share them all.  Others don't. That is ok.

As a blog writer I think it is even more simple...write as though you remember that God can see what you are writing.  Would you read it out loud to Him? 

I share it all because I think that is the way to do the most good with my blog.  I know that if I read a blog that puts up a perfect appearance...without a flaw or bad day or pile of laundry...then somehow I can make that reflect bad on me...not being together enough or efficient enough or good enough.  The truth is that I don't read those blogs for long...if I am taking the time to read it...I want it to feed my soul and mind.   

If I know that other blogs make it harder for me to like me, which I realize is part of my own mess...then I want to do everything I can to make sure that my blog doesn't contribute to those feelings in others...though I know I can only control that to an extent.

I share because I want to find like fibers in our humanness...because I believe that finding common ground is the starting off point to all sorts of healing.  Being real does that.  Putting up a pretty front doesn't.  But the point of your blog may be different than mine...I can appreciate that. 

My goal is to do my part in uniting women as a team...as cliche' as that sounds...I want to contribute to a beautiful Godly force to be reckoned with.  And I am not talking about feminism.  Sorry.

But I am talking about something like this...

"The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful."

1 Corinthians 10:13

And lest you think that I am too, anything, here are my kids, eating a dinner of frozen waffles, in a bowl mind you, while watching veggie tales.

:)

And PLEASE go buy a net!! We are over $2000 so far!! WOO HOO!

why {bother} blogging. part 2.

I know I have been promising this for a while...but I really had to think about how I wanted to get it out there...what I have to say, that is.  WHY I bother blogging.  Why maybe you should too?  

It really all comes down to people.  The good, the bad and the ugly of it all.  

I'm an extrovert on the outside...an introvert on the inside.  My extrovert loves people and gatherings and being with others.  My introvert is controlled by my insecurities and lack of faith in self. 

   Blogging is my therapy.  My cookbook.  My boys baby books.  My spiritual journey.  My journal.  My way of sharing.  My way of encouraging.  My way of giving.  My way of using what I have for good.  My way of BEING the change that I want to see in others.  My way of learning what I need to change about myself. 

I have learned so much from blogging...and I have only been doing it for a little under three years.  Blogging makes me think.  Blogging makes me want to share...and share well.  Which makes me think...a lot.  And share and think and share and think. 

I want my boys to know me well.  For them to have a history of their lives.  I struggled to get their first year baby books filled in and complete (but I did it!).  I have tried to journal and scrapbook and do photo albums and all of that.  None of it has stuck...I still have and do tons of photo albums but they don't always share the whole story.  

Blogging allows me to interact with my history in a way that encourages me and moves me forward.  Like...if you make a scrapbook page...it sits in a book...sometimes people will see it...some times it just sits there.  With a blog you get instant, and often ongoing, feedback.     

I like the back and forth of a blog versus a scrapbook.  I like "meeting" people that I would never have in my real life.  I like making friends, yes REAL friends, with people all over the globe.  

I would have liked to live back in the day...you know...where you drove your little cart across the prairie, found a good spot, built a house and knew everyone in town within a few days.  You would swap favors and crops and take care of each other.  You knew each other well and watched out for each others kids.  

Instead I live in a neighborhood where I am pretty sure that we are the only people who open their blinds on a daily basis...where kids throw rocks at my house and then spit in my grass when I ask them to stop.  I try to be available and kind and friendly...but most of the people here are very guarded.  We do have a couple of good neighbors though...and we are thankful for those.  

Blogging expands my neighborhood.  

Blogging exposes my weaknesses and various issues.  This is usually through "the ugly" part of blogging...but I try and turn and work this for my GOOD.  Usually a negative comment IS a negative comment because it preys on something that I need to work on.  I use that as fuel to refine...to figure out WHY it bothers me and how I can use it to help myself grow as a person. 

Blogging shows me how far have I come.  

Blogging keeps me close to my family.  We don't live close to any of our family really...the closest is 2 1/2 hours away...we don't get to see them much (though we are praying for that to change soon!!)  This blog helps that family to know my kids a little better...to feel a little more like we live down the street...to keep in touch a little more...to hear some of the funny stories...to add another layer to our relationships...blogging knits my family closer together. 

And that...above all...is why I blog.  

You?

this will have to do {and help please}

Well last night I was full of good intentions.  I was all set to sit down after the boys went to bed and write up all of my posts for the week and respond to all my emails...I had them all ready to go in my head...and then we had the worst thunderstorm that I have ever witnessed in my life...there is rumor that it may have been part tornado...and I believe it.  It was wicked bad and this morning sounds of chainsaws and hammers are filling the air as people try to clean up the mess that it made.  There are huge branches and trees down everywhere...we are blessed that there is not much damage.

But it did freak me out enough to throw me off my game, shut down our electricity and internet...and we are heading out of town for a couple of days...so this is all I can muster.  

Above hoho is showing off his new Sour Patch kids shirt...custom made for the biggest stinker that I know...cause generally...first he is sour...then he is sweet.

  And this is another fun new thing I am working on...this one will be available sometime next week...with more to come. :) 

And I need your help...I often get the same kinds of questions in emails...so I've been thinking...why not put together a collaboration that we all work on...

Here are the three main topics:

Blogging Etiquette. 

Advice for newly married.

and

a third topic that is currently eluding my cloudy brain at the moment. 

And this is where you come in...on this post...please leave your tid bits for blogging etiquette...and then I will compile them in one big post.  

I want to hear all of your do's and don't's...and you can leave them anonymously if that helps you.  When I compile the huge list I won't put any names to it...so you can forward it along to all those people in your life that may or may not need to freshen up their bloggy etiquette.  

Cause we all have those people in our lives right? 

So sorry this is all I have to give you for a few days...you still love me right? :)

Ok...love you...bye. :)

why {bother} blogging. part 1.

It's always (internally)funny...and awkward and weird for me when having a blog comes up in a conversation with "real" people...as in people I see in the flesh.  

After I explain what my blog is about...and the connections and friends that I have made because of it or why I love it and do it...or sometimes what a blog IS...I get several reactions...either I am weird for having friends on the "internet" or they think that it's nice to have a place where I can write "whatever I want" or they don't get it or they sheepishly admit that actually read my blog...and sometimes they tell me they love it.

I love blogging.  And I feel like a nerd typing that.  And I want to tell you why I love it...but first...

Let's address a thought that drives me the most crazy.  This is NOT a place that I can write "whatever I want".  Yes, I can choose topics and photos and I can choose whatever creative direction that I want to go...I cannot DO whatever I want. 

What I mean...is that this blog has always got to be a reflection of my character and heart and who I REALLY am.  Not just what I want you or others to believe about me.  I share from my heart and learning and life.  Good or bad.  This blog is a reflection of the life of Christ in me...and I try hard to ensure that what I share makes you more curious or drawn to Christ and not led away.  I try to be a real, transparent, sinful and repentant Christian HERE and in REAL life.    

If you have been here long...you know me...once we met "in real life" and broke the ice and really got into our coffee and dessert you would find out that I am the same here as I am in the flesh.  There is no seam.

Do you know how this is possible?  Say hello to my accountability team...aka people who KNOW me in the flesh AND read my blog.  Who have been to my house...and know my phone number.  And who I am pretty sure would call me out...or cause me to be called out if I acted a fool here.  

Firstly there is my husband...who lets me know it if I so much as fail to give him credit on a photo he took.  There are my in laws...and not just random 3rd or 4th cousins (though there are a few of those too) but more like my mother in law, who I talk to nearly daily, my father in law, brother in laws, sister in laws...and in laws of in laws too.  And I see them all pretty regularly, I can't just hope they will forget by Christmas.  There is also my best friend in California...and my friends here in Charlottesville...MOPS girls and I am pretty sure my next door neighbor too.  There are people I go to church with...and people who Doug works with.     

I can't just write "whatever I want".  I have to be thoughtful and sensitive and loving and kind and real.  I have to know what I mean...and mean what I say.  I'm not saying that my accountability team is there to limit what I can say...or that I am writing to please them...but in the end I want to be proud and unashamed of every word.  I have to be able to back up what I say with how I am feeling or why I wrote it.  It really makes me think...or research...or slow down.  I don't want them to be ashamed to claim me. :) 

What I am saying...is that I can't go off on a rant...or fly off the handle or do or say anything that I would be ashamed of.  Because the people I love and respect the most read this...and one day my boys and their kids will read it too.  

Make sense?  What keeps you accountable on your blog?

      why {bother} blogging...to be continued.

GOOD Blogging/Commenting Do's and Don'ts-Ettiquette Class. :)

But first...some more NJ pics...while we were up there we celebrated Moses' 2nd birthday with all the grandparents who couldn't be with us to celebrate his first one...then tomorrow he gets to celebrate with his other grandparents at the VA state fair and then this weekend on his actual birthday we are taking him to the pumpkin patch!!

Look at the cute birthday boy!

Cute cousins again!

Look at these cute party people!...Doug's Grandparents!

Marzipan cake for Moses!....yum!

Ok, now let's get down to business...I have endlessly searched for a good list of to do's and not to do's for the blogging world and I have yet to come across one that I really like...SO...I figured that between me and my fabulous readers/blogging buddies that we can come up with a good comprehensive list of good blogging ettiquette. You up for it? I hope I am. :) I am looking for things that the majority should go by while blogging or visiting other blogs...obviously there are blogs out there that could care less about who they tick off and just want to rant...and that is their business. But for us who do this for fun and to meet people and make connections and WANT to attract people to our blog then I want to come up with a list for us involing blogging AND commenting.

Here are a few to get you started---Keep in mind that these are just guidlines and not rules. :)

How to have a successful blog! :)

1. Don't be a hater and write ugly things about people...whether you know them or not.
2. Have a good mix of happy posts/sad posts/real life posts, etc. Not sure about you but my favorite blogs are the ones that deal in real life...not the sugary sweet life is always grand ones.
3. Share your opinion in a way that does not degrade other persons rights to their opinion.
4. Don't be a constant pity party.

Now let's here from you! What are the things that get under your skin or bug you about blogs? Or about commenting? What are the things you love to see in a blog? Love NOT to see? What are some things that have made you stop reading some blogs? What are some things that got you instantly hooked on others?

You can comment anonymously if you need to foward this post to a friend. (wink wink).

xoxo