Let Go of Doubt

That's my simple goal for the week.  Doubt is a not a godly form of anything.  It's not a tool for growth or a way to gain confidence.  It's a sharp and cumbersome obstacle in our lives.  And I'm tired of dancing to it's tune.

469 weeks ago (give or take), God led me to begin my little handmade business.  And for 469 weeks now, I have turned into an Israelite, every single week.

This past week was maybe my worst bout of it yet.  I was convinced that it was over.  I heard the false words of someone who I love(d) dearly and looked up to for years, ringing in my ears...  "make the right decision (about leaving that church) or God will lift His hand from your business". 

For the record, that is NOT true.  That is not how God works, at all.  This person was proof that even when you screw up, God is still faithful.  His blessings are not dependent on us making "the right choice". 

Regardless, I kept coming back to that.  "Maybe they were right"...I was miserable with doubt all week.  I kept plugging along and wondering where I would work and already missing what I was still doing.  It was honestly shameful.

And then the end of the week came.  And I (once again) exceeded my goal for the week.  For the 469th time. 

I was honestly SO ASHAMED of myself.  Not even exaggerating.  I begged forgiveness from the Lord and now, I am dug in.  I will not forget the pillar of cloud before me.  I will remind myself of that shame I felt and of the 469 times the Lord has shown up for me and I WILL do better this week.

The thing is though.  I am not alone.  I spoke to doubters repeatedly at church this Sunday.  People who I know, once knew that God had said x, y or z to them and were now doubting.  We are forgetful creatures.  I am not sure what it is but we have this need to constantly be assured by Him.  We have this drive in us that needs to be reminded of what He said to us one million times over. 

We can feed that drive with two things: faith or doubt.  One is like eating healthy, fresh foods and the other is like eating spoonfuls of sugar.  

Let us use our faith to feed that need instead of doubt and thus be sustained this week and into the future.  Are you with me?

James 1:6 But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind.

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