On Being Vulnerable

This week God has been talking to me about being vulnerable.  An altogether beautiful and terrifying life goal.  Look at this definition:

Vulnerability is the state of being open to injury, or appearing as if you are. It might be emotional, like admitting that you're in love with someone who might only like you as a friend, or it can be literal, like the vulnerability of a soccer goal that's unprotected by any defensive players.

On one hand, being vulnerable is so releasing.  So peaceful and calming.  It's freeing and weight-lifting.  Being able to be totally open, honest and fully ones self is an amazing feeling.  In the world we live in I feel like we have to fight through endless spiderwebs to get to this sort of freedom but I believe it is how we are truly meant to live.  It's the kind of sweetness that nothing else on this Earth can deliver.  "I am me and I am good".  It's balling up all of the expectations that you and others place on yourself and throwing them in the garbage.

On the other hand, being vulnerable exposes every fear we have.  Fear of not being liked.  Fear of losing friends.  Fear of being criticized.  Fear of looking crazy, of being a drag, of not appearing grateful.  Fear of being exposed as not being perfect or having it all together.  Fear of being judged by those we love or think we need.  Fear in every form.  But the thing about these fears is that the more we lean into being vulnerable, the more these fears become a tiny cinder floating into the sky...only to extinguish.

But vulnerability is freedom.  It's saying to the world "here I am, this is me".  And finally letting go of the need for approval, mass acceptance and no longer subjecting yourself to the judgments of others. 

It's finally admitting that you ARE good enough just as you are.  AND believing that.  AND acting like you do. 

The beautiful thing about vulnerability is that it's a great judge of character.  Being vulnerable will attract the people you need in your life and repel those who would only bring you down.  Vulnerability is like the ultimate truth serum of friendship and relationship.  It creates a bond as strong as love or a repellent as strong as a skunk spray.  And while that is scary, it's also a needed sifting. 

You don't need everyone in your life.  You need the people who love YOU for you and aren't constantly trying to change you.  No one's life is more together than the next persons.  You are no less worthy of Joy and love.

But test everything; hold fast to what is good. 1 Thessalonians 5:21

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