I wish I could bottle up the emotions I have in this moment and send them out to each of you reading. You could cry and jump for joy and excitement with me.
First, for the amazing call and answer to the last post I wrote. The response was so immediate. I am so grateful that God blessed me with confirmation on repeat since I hit publish. I am humbled that He would use such a mess like me. Truly.
The lambs are limping forward. People are talking about their hurt and getting the help they need to heal. Pain, grief, and hurt should never, ever be ignored. It's not even a trickle, it's a stream. People needed and need to hear that it is okay to talk about heartbreak. We are talking. We are healing.
Matthew 11:28 says "Come to me all who are weary and heavy burdened". ...not pretend they don't exist. Go to the messy, the hurting, the weary, use your strength to help. Go after the one sheep, they are all important to Him and therefore should be important to us.
Ecclesiastes 7:1-2 says "A good reputation is better than a fat bank account. Your death date tells more than your birth date. You learn more at a funeral than at a feast—After all, that’s where we’ll end up. We might discover something from it.
We learn from the dark times. About ourselves and about each other as we care for one another. "Tears scour the heart".
Little did I know, that post was a corner.
For the last year to year and a half I have wondered just what to do with this blog. In all honesty it has felt a little like walking around in pants that are way too big for you. The original purpose of this blog, to share photos and stories of my boys, has come to an end. Their age, privacy and people I don't want spying on them has concluded that chapter of this place. The "why" was gone.
So, for a while now I haven't been sure what to do here. Do I shut it down? End it all. Am I done here? For 18 months or more God and I have whispered. Or I've muttered and God has kept quiet.
And then today. I felt like my answer came.
I have a small group of just THE best women that you could ever ask for. Loyal. Funny. Willing. Will bend over backwards for you. Non-judgemental. No filter needed. Jesus loving and laugh until you pee your pants kind of women.
I have waited my whole life for these women. This tribe. This safe place that has encouraged me to be ME. Not me different. Me less sarcastic. Me more Jesus. Just ME.
We talk about all the things. All the crazy dreams and inappropriate things that make us laugh. We cry together. We guard one another. We band together.
They are the best.
And then I spent my whole day listening to Influence Summit speakers and a new "why" jumped up.
What am I passionate about? Loving others. Being real. Sharing life. Being fun. Sarcasm and donuts. My lady tribe. Being real women with real feelings.
That's my new why. "What is Jesus doing with this girl who has ALL THE FEELINGS and wants to love people passionately and well." I want to share those things. "Listen to this crazy story about how I ended up in a bar in the middle of nowhere with my tribe and a creepy guy tried to invite us all to the party room". I want to share those things. I want to encourage and love and share in a REAL way.
None of the fluff. None of the perfect squares. Just real life. Real moms. Real friends and real wives.
I'm exited. A fire has been lit. I can't wait to see what's going on a year from now.
Thanks for hanging in there. Let's go to this new place together.