Dear Woman Posting About That Other Woman

We've all seen those posts...the ones that begin with "Dear mom on her phone at the playground/chick fil a/OBGYN appointment...".  They then go on to explain to the mom, who is obviously neglecting her children, that she is missing out on VITAL things her children are telling/showing/sharing with her.  Her kids will likely be ruined, spend a life on the streets and be voted least likely to be an astronaut.  They may or may not go on to lead a gang.  Depends on how the mom in question responds to the post about her. 

The problem with those posts?

They reek of judgement.  To tell another mom that she needs to get off the phone implies that you KNOW why she is on the phone in the first place,  that she's likely been on there all day and that you better know how to parent her child.  It implies that you know all of the details leading up to that moment in her day. {Not to mention the fact that I am certain there have been times where we all have told our children with words or actions to MOVE ALONG so we could do something.  If not, I apologize and will happily send you all of the mom trophies I have received.}  

How else could we judge her if all of this is not true?  

Allow me if you will, a moment of your time.  Assume for just a minute that maybe, just maybe, she has a good reason to be on that phone.

Maybe her dad is in the hospital in a city far away and she's texting back and forth with her mom.

Maybe she works from home and that hour at the playground is her first chance all day to catch up on some emails.  Maybe she spent the morning volunteering at her child's school.

Maybe she's had the worst day ever and she can't talk about it to the five year old sitting across the table at her.

Maybe that child in her company has said the same thing one MILLION times and if she has to listen one more time she is going to spoon her eyes out with a spork and run away with the chicl fil a cow.  {I can testify! ---to the spork, not the cow.}

Maybe she has seen that precious twirl on the playground so much that there's a running joke in her family about it.    We have definite examples of this in my family.

Maybe some people don't believe that kids need to be doted on for every, ever loving moment of their lives and that mom has had E-NUFF.

Maybe you don't know enough about her or her day to be anything but Jesus like to her. 

Maybe we need to be more gentle with the women we see around us. 

Maybe we need someone to be more gentle with us. The truth is, if you put out what you need, you're more likely to get that back.  Extend more grace than necessary, don't fall into that woman on woman hate trap.  Because that just feeds the "better than you competition monster".   

Don't pass judgement on that mom for a moment and maybe when you need to fall into some grace, it will be there waiting for you. 

WE HAVE TO BE WHAT WE WANT FROM THE WORLD! It will not just appear like magic from an environment that churns hate, competition and oneupsmanship.  If we only put out judgement and criticism we cannot be surprised when that is what we get.

Can we please just agree to stop? Can we keep on scrolling and not feed that beast?  

Let's be on team "I hope we all make it!"

Can I get an amen?

5 comments:

April said...

Amen! That is all :)

sabrina said...

I LOVE this post. I am a recently divorced single mama, and it's hard doing everything on my own. I'm sure people have noticed me in the middle of Target scrolling away on my phone NOT paying attention to my daughter sitting in the stroller in front of me. Had they known I was in the store to pick up some sort of cream for the weird skin problem I recently discovered she had, and was trying to figure out EXACTLY what sort of cream I needed to buy, maybe they wouldn't have thought so badly of me. I actually DO care about my child. I'm so sick of everyone judging each other, when we just need to love and help one another.

Tabi Leighann said...

Amen friend, aaaaaaamen.

Amber said...

AMEN! <3

Jacob Metcalf said...

I am so glad you wrote this! I say these things every time someone jumps on "that mom". I was and am " that mom" a lot...not because I don't love my kids, but because I believe it is good for them to go be a kid without me hovering. They have more fun that way. And maybe, just maybe, "that mom" is playing on her phone because she doesn't want anyone to notice her vulnerability of being alone, so she looks busy, when really its her silent plea for a friend....oh wait, that's me too. God bless you!....Abbey

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