Or in quiet Saturday morning projects.
He is always there. Sometimes we choose not to look. We cover our eyes and scream about how alone we are but that alone-ness is a choice.
As we approach Mother's Day, a holiday riddled with pain for me, I'm once again dealing with old scars. We watched a video on Sunday that started with this quote:
"Sometimes someone hurts you so bad, it stops hurting at all. Until something makes you feel again, and then it all comes back: every word, every hurt, every moment."
And I thought. YES! I've included the video below, mostly for my own safe keeping. I've never witnessed a more accurate description of how I remember my childhood. I've never been able to describe it as accurately, or poignantly as it is portrayed here. Only I was never saved.
And I have forgiven, forgiveness isn't the issue. Forgiveness doesn't instantly remove the pain of reality it just makes it easier to walk through it.
And now I seek Him even here. Looking, searching, peeking around trying to find His fingerprints in the reoccurring pain, knowing full well that He never wastes an ounce of it.