No place like home for the holidays...a huggies post


I've been asked by BlogHer and Huggies to take some walks down memory lane and explore some (what I think will be) FUN subjects about babies and having them and getting ready for them and all the fun stuff that goes with THEM! I volunteered for this series for selfish reasons. I think it will be a great way to document some thoughts and feelings that maybe I haven't before but should have. I hope you will enjoy them, too!

What is it about the combination of having a new baby and it being the holidays that gives everyone in your life permission to suddenly tell you what to do, how to do it and where to be for each and every minute of a holiday? I know that when Moses was born there was great assumption born with him. Certain family members had already planned out where we would be for both Christmas and Thanksgiving, when sleepovers would occur, how we would handle Santa and where we would wake up on Christmas morning.

The truth is, when it comes down to it, if you want to have an enjoyable holiday season you have to learn one thing: how to say no.

I mentioned before that you and your spouse need to discuss NOW before it gets crazy how you, as the nuclear family unit, want to spent the holidays. If you want to spend it at home, great! Know that now so you can inform those who might be expecting you to do otherwise. Want to state hop all over? Great! Let the people you plan to visit know so that they can be better prepared to host a young infant.

The important thing is to keep the important things the important things. It doesn't matter if your mother is happy with you if you husband isn't. The holidays are not the time for you to revert back to middle school and play the baby of the family at your parents' house; now is the time to establish traditions for YOUR baby. By talking out your plans with your spouse it will be easier on you to let others know why you won't be at their home Christmas morning. Your come back can start with "Well, Doug and I have discussed it and decided that..." It let's people know that you have already made a choice.

I'm not saying people will be happy with you going off and making plans with your new baby and all that don't include them. If people are anxious to see your new little one, make alternate plans that don't fall on a day that is important to you and your husband, especially if you have decided together to spend Christmas or Thanksgiving alone. The most important thing is to stick to the plans you and your husband have decided on together and don't back each other into corners based on family members being unhappy with your choices.

Knowing what will make you happiest during the holidays starts with knowing what kind of baby you have...one that will be OK schedule-wise with short day trips, guests coming to you or long out of state journeys. Each baby is different and some don't care where they lay their heads...others only want home. Know the workings of your little one and you can start to plan from there.

Just keep in mind, that while your family may push for your time around the holidays it's your spouse and children who you have to live with year round. You don't want them to build memories over mom and dad working to make everyone happy but themselves. It's OK to put your family first.
Check out the Huggies Mommy Answers Facebook app and find more posts from bloggers sharing their experiences of motherhood on the Huggies page on BlogHer.com.
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3 comments:

Bella said...

Hello there! I've been following your blog for only a few months now! First of all, first time posting so I would like to tell you how lovely and interesting your blog is!
Second of all just thought I'd comment as I felt quite moved by your post today. Sometimes it's the little things like that that affect you. I'm not a mother, but I am adapting to life as a couple and learning how to make choices with another person rather than always doing what is expected of your by parents/family etc. Just wanted to say thank you for this post. It's true that it's ok to put your family first and your own couple before the expecations of others. My boyfriend and I actually had a very similar conversation only last night... Everything is connected. I feel like I needed to read this this morning (living in France!) to really bring home the message! So thank you!
Bella

Bunnyslady said...

Thank you for this post. My little one is almost two months old and both of our families are begining to ask about what we are going to be doing to the upcoming holiday season. I think that you are right on with your advice; even if you don't have a child. It is important to have a plan before things get too crazy. Thanks again for having such a winderful blog. You are an inspiration!

whiskerchase said...

I totally agree with your post. When I was growing up my mother would bend over backward for my grandparents to "be a part of" the holidays. For them that included staying at our house for the whole week of Christmas and us hidind in our rooms the whole time. Mom let us hide because Grandma was not very nice and usually checked her manners at the door. Life would have been so much better for everyone if she had set boundries. I think that Grandma would have left immediately at being asked to behave like an adult but would have fixed her attitude by the next holiday. Mom thought she was doing the right thing for us but all my Christmas memories growing up were tainted by her and my mother's willingness to put up with it.

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