helping out the new mom - a huggies post
I've been asked by BlogHer and Huggies to take some walks down memory lane and explore some (what I think will be) FUN subjects about babies and having them and getting ready for them and all the fun stuff that goes with THEM! I volunteered for this series for selfish reasons. I think it will be a great way to document some thoughts and feelings that maybe I haven't before but should have. I hope you will enjoy them, too!
This week we are talking about those first days home from the hospital...what's the best way to help a new mother out?
The first thing on my list, upon bringing home a newborn, was space. I didn't want a lot of visitors. It's tough to get that space, because everyone REALLY wants to see that new baby. When we had both of our boys, we limited visits to one a day or at the very least, one at a time. If you need to do so, feel free to leave a polite note on the front door and change your voice mail to say something like, "Thanks for thinking of us and wanting to check in. At this time we just need a little space to adjust to our new family. We'll be open to lots of visitors soon!" The people who love you will understand, especially those who have had babies themselves.
Don't make the mistake of feeling selfish for wanting that space. Speak your needs in kindness to your friends and if they love you, they will get it.
On the other hand, if you know a new mom, offer help of any kind. You may need to be persistent and firm (you know how to do this with your best friends) and be willing to do whatever they need. If they need someone to take a colicky baby for a walk so they can sleep for twenty minutes, do it. If they need their bathrooms cleaned, do it. Offer to do things that you don't think they would ask you to do. And do them with joy. Bring a meal by and leave quickly, be sure to use throw away dishes!
If you are the new mom...speak up! Don't be afraid of hurting peoples feelings by making requests, especially if they are offering help! Take them up on it and return the favor when you can! Don't let guilt keep you from taking advantage of offers to cook, clean, hold a baby or do some laundry! The worst thing you can do in your post-hormonal crazy state is assume that anyone just KNOWS what you need. They don't. It's not because they don't love you or want to help. It's just because they aren't mind readers. Especially keep this in mind with husbands. My Doug was always willing to do anything I asked him, but whenever I ASSUMED he knew what I needed, ugliness ensued. Just ask.
I guess what I am saying here is ask for help and be willing to take it. And make your requests and desires known!
And be sure you read up on all my other Huggies posts HERE! There's some good stuff in there!
Check out the Huggies Mommy Answers Facebook app!
Find more posts from bloggers sharing their experiences of motherhood on the Huggies page on BlogHer.com.