keep in mind...on bloggers.


This post has been swirling in my head for some time. 

I think, and hope, it will be a friendly reminder or heads up for everyone, myself included.  It is not meant to sound arrogant or self-righteous in any way...because I need to remember these things as much as the next person.   

I realize that I am not the author of THE most popular blog out there, I know there are tons out there that are way better than me in millions of different ways.  In a way, I am thankful for each day I am spared the ugly side of the web because the more people who see your blog, the more chances there are for ugliness to show up...it's just a matter of statistics. 

This is my experience, as I have had growth and changes in unexpected ways and have been basically learning as I go over the last five years with this whole blogging thing.  I am beyond THRILLED with where I am.  Amazed and humbled at what God has allowed me to accomplish with what little skill I possess.   

Even with my small window of expertise, I have learned a lot and thought I would share a little view into the inside, just a little "just so you know" kinda stuff and generally address some issues that many, many bloggers face.

Let's start with email and comments.  

I get oodles and oodles of emails and comments daily.  Just stating, not bragging.  I love them all (usually).  I do my best to reply to as many as I can because I DO want my readers to feel loved and appreciated (because you ARE!!).  My goal is to keep my inbox under 200 things that need my attention in some way.  Yes, 200.  Six months out of the year, that is not TOO hard to do, the other six months, forget about it.  If you email me (or ANY blogger) please keep in mind that we are busy people just like you.  If I don't reply to your comment or email, it means nothing other than, you may be in line behind maybe 200 people.  Blogging does not give us any more time in the day than anyone else.   

I do not hate you.  I am not ignoring you.  I don't dislike you.  None of those things are true.  Please don't send an email asking why any of the above are true.   

There are some emails or comments that I delete or weed out if you will and I know that other bloggers do the same. 

These emails include:
--Weird questions about my kids and family....um, no.
--Demanding emails.  "I need you to DO THIS RIGHT NOW!!!".  Yes, it happens.  It's usually a rude request for a how-to or where did I get such and such.  No please or thank you in sight.  Happens regularly.   
--Things I KNOW Google can answer.  Sorry.   
--Comments with NO email address attached to them.  I cannot answer them without an email. 

Another common issue is...people assuming that having ads = selling out.  Yeah, no again.  I take great care in choosing which ads have the honor of appearing next to stories about my kids and family.  Those ads to the right allow me a way to stay at home with my kids in a way that is not obtrusive to my kids or my life.  If ANY blogger has ads and they annoy you...please take into account why you visit that blog in the first place.  Is it because you love that blogger and what they have to say or share?  Then don't you think they deserve a little compensation for that if they can get it?  Do you strongly dislike that blogger?  Then you shouldn't be there in the first place, ad or no ad.  A blogger who proudly shows off their "ad free" badge is just as much a "sell out" as a blogger with an ad.  Let's all just assume that we each seek what is best for our blog and family sake.   

Another issue...people think that the 10% they see on a blog is equal to 100% real life.  I will speak for every blogger out there...the sunny happy ones, the gloomy ones, the ones that tell a mix of things and all the ones in between...you are ONLY getting a tiny fraction of our lives.  Please don't fill in the rest for us with impossible standards and heights of achievement.  Rarely blogged are the temper tantrums, the yelling at the kids, the losing of the patience, the arguments with a spouse, the rashness of a tired mom, the cereal for dinner, the disagreements with a friend, the spilling of coffee on a rug, the messed up projects, the disrobed poopy diaper or the baking flops that we all have.  No one has a perfect life.  I know that for me, I do my best to share the happy parts and the struggles because for me, it provides a nice measuring stick to see how far I've come but even then there is a lot you don't see or get to read.  If it makes me really happy, I blog it.  If it makes me really sad, I blog it.  If it's meh...well, you won't hear about that.  Bloggers ARE people JUST like everyone else.  Just like you.
If you see us in public, it's OK to say hello.  :)  It might actually help with the above issue. 

Along with the whole "we are people too thing"...please keep in mind that we have the same ability to be hurt and happy, just like everyone.  Please keep that in mind when you email or comment or mention us on your blog.  You would be AMAZED and stunned at the things people say because they figure it will never get back to the person...guess what?  It always does and even virtual "sticks and stones" hurt.  Gossip travels.  The end.  Be nice.

A lot of the time, the internet does a fabulous job of dehumanizing us to others and others to us.  It's easy to look at a pretty blog and just imagine how easy someone elses life may be because you only see photos of flowers, perfect meals and impeccable parties.  You could slice any life into frames and choose the ones that would make it look glamorous.  True statement.

I don't know.  Maybe this seems like a huge long ramble.  I just know that lately, I have seen more ugly directed at me and other "popular" bloggers that is just downright nasty and it's getting to me.  I wanted to stand a little in their defense and beckon others to stand in the gap of grace.  If you see ugly small talk, squash it.  Spread loving words.  Talk about others like you would sitting across the table having coffee with them.  The internet is capable of such lovely things...if we can only make the dark underbelly tiny and hard to find.     

Anything you care to add bloggers and readers alike?


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17 comments:

All At Once said...

I don't understand how people can be so hateful. This is your blog and you should write whatever you want. Luckily I haven't experienced this yet, and I pray that people stay kind. I agree with you, we are all people with feelings. I am so sorry that people have been unkind.

Melody Lane Designs said...

I just have to say "Well said" !

Holly said...

very good post! I personally have been out of the blogging loop as of late but seriously no ones life is perfect folks. I have things that I choose not to blog about for the sake of my kids privacy. I am fortunate that those who read my blog respect that and so I try to hole that same respect to other bloggers.

Okio B Designs said...

Great post and so true! I give the same advice in blog land as I would give to my children: be nice and ignore anyone who isn't being nice to you. I try to live by those words myself. =)

Jeanine

Craftynette said...

I'm a firm believer of the saying; "If you don't have anything nice to say, just don't say anything."

Great blog by the way and lovely post!

mysteryhistorymom said...

I think people are reluctant to leave a comment now.:( I have never had anyone leave a nasty comment on my blog before. I can understand how words like that can hurt, though. Hope things improve for you!:) Lori

Anonymous said...

I'll throw my two cents in. I love your blog, I appreciate the great ideas that come from it and I think it is fantastic that you can make a little money from it. It's a shame that some people have nothing better to do than be ugly to others and I hate that the anonymous nature of the internet brings out the worst in so many. I also really love the mason jar straw idea and plan to use it for our 4th of July party, very cute, thank you!
p.s. not anonymous, but blogger hates me today for some reason
CSmith

Blanca said...

Thank you for sharing this post. From what I can tell you seem like a lovely person with a good heart.

I don't know what I'd do with so much negativity. You always handle with maturity and that says a lot about your character. I know you know your a swell person and I know you know you don't approval from anyone but I know that your blog...sharing your life has helped and inspired many.

So thank you, Crystal! And, best wishes on everything. :)

Suzanne said...

I love this. I think you are right on about how all of the blogging and social media has dehumanized conversation. I haven't been blogging that long, so I haven't encountered the Negative Nellies out there yet, but I have seen it in other formats.

I am a firm believer of "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" - ask my kids, there hear it ALL the time :)
Ephesians 4:29 is a favorite verse of mine. I really work hard (and struggle daily) to speak encouraging words. Build up, not tear down. A struggle, but something I pray for.

Love the finished embroidery - it looks fabulous!

Grace said...

Amen, Sister!

Hi, I'm Sarah said...

Amen! I can't imagine anyone speaking negatively of you, you are such an inspiration. Praying God brings comfort to you when people spill their ugly in your happy little corner of the Internet.

Nadia said...

Excellent post and what a lovely blog ! keep going ....

sarahgilmour said...

Hah - I LOVE your email-answering guidelines. Especially things that you know Google can answer! Made me laugh, but it's so true!

I agree with you 100% on this. Thanks for putting it out there...it's definitely a nice reminder! :)

thereinventedlass said...

Good post! You said a lot of what us bloggers would love to tell others. Thanks for writing it! And keep going...your blog is awesome!

Cathy

teapotsandrobots said...

good post!
you just have to remember the world we live in and that anything good in us comes only from God, not of us, but Him.
You speak truth and you speak it boldly and when you do that, the world does not like necessarily like you.
But, He has overcome the world. :)
Keep speaking truth. Keep loving people. Keep posting on your lovely blog. I enjoy reading it......makes me happy. :)

Tawny Reynolds-Wohlers said...

I have three followers of my blog. One is my sister, one is my mom, the other is unknown. I guess I don't mind so much. First of all because I can say what I mean, second of all, because it's by no means overwhelming. If it touches someone enough to get them thinking, well then, I've done what God led me to do, so let Him have the glory! If not, oh well, I don't post daily, so nothing was lost.

scrap_boro said...

I also believe you could treat the rubber grommets like you do baby bottle nipples and boil them before use. I would think that should make them food safe.

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