a letter to twitter.

dear twitter, 
i have to say that i don't understand our relationship.  from what others told me about you, i expected so much more.  instead, this all feels so one sided and narcissistic.  you make me feel old and incompetent.  you make me want to sit on the front porch in a rocking chair and shake my cane at the kids driving too fast on my street.  you make me want to say things like "whipper snappers", "young folk" and "dadgummit".  

maybe your best characteristics are hidden from me...which is totally possible because even after all these weeks i only just figured out how to find out if i was "mentioned" in a tweet. 

perhaps you also possess special time compression abilities that i have yet to find?  i say this because of the amazing number of people i have found on twitter who swore off facebook with great pomp and circumstance because it was a "huge time waster" yet i find them happily tweeting away dozens of times in a day...it only makes sense that dozens of tweets would take less than a facebook status update.   right?  can you direct me to this feature?

you also seem really impersonal to me...at least with facebook i get to see photos of your kids and family and feel like i am connected with your life a little...it seems hard to get to know you 140 characters at a time.  with facebook it seems i am talking more with a person.  with twitter, i feel like i am talking to a computer.  

and to be honest...it creeps me out that all tweets are saved in the national archives.  

and if i want to be narcissistic...well...my blog gives me plenty of that and i am happy to spill my brain out in a few blog posts per week...but i have yet to find the perk to gushing out every thought that comes to mind...or reading everyone else's either... 

i guess all of this is to say...i'm not sure we're going to make it, dadgummit.

#ithinkweneedsomespace #youarenotasawesomeasyouthink 
#youarefullofyourself #oldpeoplerock

love, me

happy mudders day.

i'm convinced that being a mother is the best way to learn unconditional love. what other relationship starts with the humbling act of exposing your girly bits to a stranger (delivery of baby) and leads to you being puked on, pooped on, exposed in public (nursing), drooled on, screamed at, hit at times, made crazy in moments, having all of your clothes ruined, not to mention your body...and still ends in you loving a creature more than you ever thought possible. i adore my boys and i would take all of this and more for the honor of raising God's children. 

happy mudders day! (as spoken by moses)


spread love.

you can get these darling free printables from kind over matter.  
complement one HERE...positive thoughts one HERE.
while you are there...take a peek around. :) pure happiness. 

be sure to check out her freebie page too...total 
inspiration to go do something nice.  right now. 

i'm tempted to print off a bunch and hang one on every bulletin board i find. 

i hope your mothers day is lovely. :) this holiday is usually a tough one for me...but this year, i am brave enough to say...my heart is healing...and God has been reminding me of all of the wonderful women God has put in my life to mother me...so many wonderful, lovely, Godly women...where there is a void...our Father fills it.  a happy heart is the best gift this year.

and though i haven't mentioned house stuff here lately...we've been busy...we put our house on the market...for sale by owner...and within 12 hours we had a showing...and the realtor said her client LOVED it...so much so that he brought his wife back the same night to show her...that was Friday...so we are waiting to hear more...so if you pray for me (and it brings my heart SO much joy to know that many of you do) could you pray for this situation...we feel we have peace whatever happens...so God's will be done...but i would love for step one of moving home to be complete. :)
and...if you would like to order a hot mess head band...or a set of minis...i'll accept pre-shop orders for a couple more days...after that the prices will be going up a bit. :) the one above is called "the betsy"...as in betsy ross...hello memorial day and 4th of July. :) 

and with that...i've already stayed up way later than i wanted to.


29 things.

 today is my favorite humans birthday.  
here are 29 reasons why i love him.

1. he is a GENTLEMAN.  always.
2.  he is my BEST friend.
3.  he SUPPORTS my crazy ideas.
4.  he is GOOD to his kids.
5.  he works HARD for his family.
6. he is a WONDERFUL father.
7.  he is a good son to his PARENTS.
8. he's a good BROTHER to his siblings.
9. he is handsomer than HANDSOME.
10.  he is completely STRAIGHT EDGE.
no smoking, no drinking, ever.
11.  his MEMORY is amazing.
12.  he can recite any pertinate DATE or detail to our relationship.
13.  he remembers what i wore on our FIRST date.
14.  the piece of paper i first gave him my number on 
is still carried by him in his WALLET.
15.  the first mixed cd i made him has a permanent place in 
slot ONE of his six cd changer in his car.
16.  he always keeps his WORD.
17.  INTEGRITY is important to him.
18. GOD is his center.
19.  he teaches his boys about JESUS.
20.  everyone loves DOUG
21.  we can communicate without TALKING.
22.  he's a good EXAMPLE to all he meets.
23.  he's a good FRIEND to all who need him. 
24.  my boys could grow up to be JUST like him
and that would be wonderful.
25. he LOVES me.  as is. 
26.  he ENCOURAGES my creativity.
27.  he makes any situation FUN.
28.  he is FUNNY and he gets my humor.
29.  he is that most wonderful HUSBAND, father, friend
and person that i have ever met or known.  
i miss him when he is gone and love every 
minute that he is home.  there is not 
one thing i would ever change about him.  

happy birthday honey! :) i love you!

family rules.

 i love the idea of having a set of family rules hanging in the house for all to see...as a reminder of what is expected of each member of our family...though the rules i have in mind are a bit more extensive than the usual ones you see others posting in their homes...maybe by the time my boys can really read we will have outgrown some of the rules that i would currently feel the need to include...

some practical family rules for our household:
aka things i say 100 plus times a day.

be kind.
ask ONE time.
keep your hands out of your pants.
say please and thank you.
don't say pleeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaseeeeee in 
hopes of getting an alternative answer. 
keep your fingers out of your nose. 
no hitting.
don't talk to mom until 
she's had her coffee.
pray before you eat.
pray before you sleep.
pray when you wake up. 
actually, keep all things 
out of your nose...
same goes for ears too. 
please allow dad to actually 
step IN the door before 
attempting to climb him.
you get nothing you whine for. 
be thankful and grateful. 
 it's OK for mom to eat hot food. 
toys are not weapons.
you may not hurt someone 
just so you can kiss them 
and make up (hoho this is you!)
say "yes, mom?" or "yes, dad?" 
and not "what?"   
babies and ladies go first.
be a gentleman.
 say "i love you" a lot.
a lot. a lot.
finish what you started.

have i missed anything?

happy things.

 i've been making lots of happy.
if you're a facebook fan you've seen lots of these lately...
messy hair day headbands...or hot mess headbands as i have taken to calling them...
(i think) they are wonderful and happy and perfect. 
they are made with happy fabric and comfy elastic. 
they are a {beautiful}hot mess.
 i've also been making loads of these...i call them hot mess slipcovers...
...they are mini-headbands that slip over regular skinny headbands...so you can interchange them at will...these are the basic version...i have even happier versions in my head.
 just a little sass...super for every day. 
 don't you love them?  i love a sassy, messy, up do and 
these are just the perfect finishing touch. 
if you want to order them before i put them in the shop i am offering them at a lower price than they will be once they hit the shop...$5 per elastic version and $10 for a set of three minis.
 email me at ricracandpompoms @ gmail.com if you want to order before they go in the shop. 
i'm happy to switch up the colors for you too.
 and if this isn't the happiest cake ever...i don't know what is.
i actually made this cake for doug to take to work today.  
i sent my husband to work with a 12in high,
six layer RAINBOW cake. 
he was thrilled. 
i was like what honey...the rainbow means 
you are sharing the gospel. 
go spread His light.
 because i wouldn't be there to see this awesome cake cut into...i made a mini one for the boys out of cupcakes.  i highly recommend lemon swiss meringue butter cream.  yummy.
 how cute is this kid?  really.  when did he get so big?  
how is one child so cute?
he won't keep his fingers out of his nose...
or his hands out of his pants...
or keep his clothes on.
but he IS cute.  and he makes me happy.
 this kid is in a questions phase.  all questions all the time.  he makes me happy. 
today he asked me
"mom, do you remember when i was a baby?  
and when i was in your tummy...and then i hatched?"

if only it was that easy, right?

your comments and emails lately make me happy.  
i have the best of the best lovely readers. 
thank you.

what's making you happy?

pray with me.

praise the Lord for for the death of usama bin laden.  our world can feel a slight twinge safer and maybe those who lost a loved one can feel a bit more closure.  i will admit that it feels wrong to be thankful for the death of another person...especially when you remember that the Lord LOVES usama as one of His own children.   

while this is a great "victory" for our side...my heart is heavy for those on the other side of the story...the muslims who followed him.  i'm praying that Jesus would use this time to draw them ever closer to the one true Savior. 

i think this exerpt form Obama is important to keep in mind as well:
"We must also reaffirm that the United States is not, and never will be, at war with Islam. I’ve made clear, just as President Bush did shortly after 9/11, that our war is not against Islam.  Bin Laden was not a Muslim leader. He was a mass murderer of Muslims."

 praying for hurting hearts everywhere this morning and praying that those most effected by 9/11 are a little closer to feeling that justice was done. 

heaven help me.

Lord help me.  really.  i just read ANOTHER heartbreaking story about a man, who seemingly out of nowhere, up and left his wife and small children.  left a marriage that the wife thought was good and full of love.  she thought they were happy.  because he told her he was.  he left a marriage where they served the Lord together.  where they shared memories and life.  
and then one day was done.  so he left. 

my initial reaction is absolute heartbreak.  so sorrowful.  like a living death. 

my second reaction is to calmly assure my dear and wonderful husband, that if he ever thought of doing such a thing to me...i would ENSURE that he never knew a peaceful, happy day again.  i'm not saying i would kill him...because you know, the internet lasts forever...but it would be ugly. 

(for the record, there is NO chance on God's green Earth that either one of us would ever
let this happen to our marriage...we are committed to the very, very end...)   

i wish this was a story you read every so often.  
once in a blue moon.  but sadly.  it's becoming common place.  
it's sad.  it's heartbreaking.  
it's NORMAL.   

now i can't begin to know what caused the rift that couldn't be healed in the marriage above...or any other one where the story is the same...where he leaves out of nowhere...but part of me believes that it has to be communication.  or lack there of. 

it's hard to fight a battle that the other one doesn't know or care about. 
it's hard to save a marriage on your own. 
some of you may remember that i was married before doug.  
though i wouldn't call it a marriage.  it was an arrangement i thought would alleviate the sin of me living with someone who already treated me like hell.  it was an act committed by a woman who never knew what REAL love was like.  who never knew an example of a good marriage.  to the very young me at the time...marriage was not sacred.  or a covenant.  or a promise for forever.  nor was it supposed to be happy or joyful or wonderful.  i definitely didn't think that you should enjoy your spouse...or be best friends with them...and that they should feel the same about you.  at the time...all that marriage meant to me was alleviation of sin.  so i did it.  even if at the time i KNEW that i shouldn't.  that i didn't love him.  that it felt wrong.  that it would be bad. the problem then was that i didn't know i deserved better.  or that i deserved at all.  i had never been told that i was lovable or deserving of good things.

i didn't know love the way i know now.  or commitment with the meaning it holds to me now. 

and because of that...that shell of a girl who was the past me...spent some time in hell on earth.  he was abusive...mentally and spiritually.  he was a drunk.  he slept around.  he regularly spent the night with beautiful girlfriends.  i left him one day while he was out of town, which was a regular occurrence...convinced that if i had to spend the rest of my life ALONE and repenting of the sin of divorce, then it would be much better than the hell that my existence was.  i left him when he started talking trash about Jesus.  

only my closest friends knew the pain and depth of healing that i needed.  

other friends knew of other things that went on...he is now married to one of my good friends at the time.  a relationship that started secretly long before i knew of it.  

the point is.  there was only one of us trying.  only one of us seeking Him.  only one of us communicating at all costs.  

my view of marriage is so different now.  maybe it took growth or maturity.  or maybe it took healing of things that have nothing to do with marriage...but i have learned what a gift it is.  what it means to love.  what a HAPPY marriage looks like.  what it means to BE loved.  

and our key so far?  if i may share...is communication.  communication.  communication.  we talk about everything.  we spend time together.  we like each other.  we ARE best friends.  we come before ANY other relationship, save Christ.  we seek Him together and separately.  we talk about our marriage.  we share our problems and hurt feelings and weaknesses.  we talk about what we want from each other...what we expect from each other.  there is NO stone left unturned.  we never speak badly of each other to anyone, ever.  we do what we can to lift each other up and encourage each other.  we PRAY for each other.  we ask others to pray for us.    

yes, i realize that we have only been married for a little over five years.  
no, we are not experts by any means.  we have a lot to learn but we are committed to learning it.  if any things but death separate us...heaven help us both.  it's serious business to us.       

but we are committed.  
we are rallying for our marriage.  
it is THE most important earthly thing to us. 

and it doesn't end there...we rally for marriage in general. 

can i encourage you?
  talk.  beg your husband to talk.  
make the time.  make the priority.  
make Him your best friend so that He can guide you.   
seek help if you need it.  fight for it.  make your husband your priority.  
above everything but God.  and yes, i mean above your children, too.   
the best parenting move you can make is a healthy marriage.
never talk bad about him.  never talk down to him.  ask for forgiveness if you need it.  
forgive him too.  give it everything you have.  
but above all...talk, talk, talk. 

i don't know why i was compelled to share all of this...i just know that if i can help a friend help herself by sharing...then i will share a million times.  i don't pretend to know the ins and outs of any marriage but my own...but... 

i know for a fact that sharing my history has saved others from the pain of my fate. 

go talk.

be jealous.

oh friends.  i have no idea where this post will take us but my head and heart are swirling with so many thoughts on so many things that i just have to get some of them out. 

i have thought for some time now...that some of you out there must be getting tired of my Jesus loving posts lately...my aching, pouring out my heart posts about what i am learning and how i am learning it.  i know many of you came here or come here for the crafty side of me...and i wish i could apologize for getting all mushy on Jesus.  but i just can't. 

God is answering prayers in my life like never before.  the woman i have begged Him to shape me into is starting to form...some days i want to scream I AM GETTING IT!  of course other days i take a few steps backwards too...but even those times are more often than not, lessons learned.  

there is still so much to learn.  

i have always felt that God talks most clearly with me through pictures...whether it is grabbing the cusp of an idea or explaining something to me in a way i will get...i generally "get" it through a word picture...which is why i have always loved these lyrics by third day:

I caught a glimpse of Your splendor
In the corner of my eye
The most beautiful thing I've ever seen
And it was like a flash of lightning
Reflected off the sky
And I know I'll never be the same

 i could not explain these pictures any better myself.  

and last night, as i was praying, i got one of these pictures in my mind...as i was praying for my character to develop, to be able to hear Him better, to be MORE of who He is calling me to be, i caught a picture of future crystal in the corner of my minds eye.  and really, it took my breath away.  it's hard to explain, but somehow through this picture i could tell the depth and breadth of my character.  it was beautiful.  it was so much more of who i want to be.

and let me just address now, that i am certain that there are some of you reading this, if you got this far,  that are thinking "what a crack head".  and i am sorry, but i don't care.  it's ok if you think i'm crazy.  not to be mean or rude...but let me tell you, sweet sister of mine,  God will do crazy things if you let Him.  hand over your life and reap the results of having someone who knows what they are doing in control.  you won't care how crazy you look either once you feel the comfort that the presence of God in your life will provide. 

years and years ago, if you had asked me what part of my life God is in control of...it would have been a sad looking pie chart.  let me tell you.  but once i decided to let Him out of the "sunday morning" box...girl, that is when life started.  the more i hand over, because He won't force it from my hand, the more blessed i am because of it.  

because i have given God the radio time in my car...i have had more conversations with my boys about Jesus then i would have if listening to the local radio station. 
because i have given God my marriage...i have so much more than a great husband. 

because i have given God my kids (because hey, they ARE His anyway)...i get to be a blessed mother of children.  

because i have given God control of my life path...it is full of peace...if not still hard at times. 

because i have given God my anger and hurt and injustice and pain and sorrow...He has healed and given joy in their places.  

i'm here to tell you...that if you are only seeking God on sunday.  
you aren't hurting God...you are hurting yourselves. 

 and that hurts my heart for you.  God wants to give you so much more. 

care less about looking crazy and care more about getting from God what He WANTS to give you. 

care less about getting the material things that others are flaunting at you and care MORE about the treasures God wants to store in your heart. 

care less about looking foolish in front of others and say to yourself...
as David did, "i'll become even more undignified than this..."

care less about being politically correct and care more about speaking God's truth in love. 

i don't know about you...but i am tired of living up to ever bending societal standards...i'd rather strive to be someone who lives up to THE standards that never change. His. 

i refuse to be a blogger who sets out to make you jealous of anything that i have been blessed with, save one exception.  my undying, unrelenting, unending love of Jesus.  my unquenchable thirst to serve Him, my endless pursuit of His glory, my never stalling desire to have Him be proud of me. 
and i only want you jealous because i want YOU to have it too.

so if you stop reading this blog because you can't take another Jesus post...or you stop following me on twitter because i keep retweeting rick warren...or rev run :)...well, i can offer no apologies for that.  

my God will not be contained to sunday mornings. 
i will serve Him, and follow Him, and share my heart as He prompts me.  

and yes, i will still be crafting and sewing and baking and cooking and sharing silly stories.  
and i love each and every one of you who read 
 (and that love is double for those who comment or email). :)  

i'm thankful for you ladies who are sharing this journey with me and i hope you will be around to know that future crystal...


20 minute crafter: mothers day corsage

i spied this idea on wild olive...and thought with a little expansion of a sweet idea you could make a funky little corsage for mothers day...with just a tinge of sentiment. 

here's what you need:
felt for flowers in your choice of colors
bit of yellow felt
bit of green felt
small childs hand
hot glue or needle and thread
safety pin
start by tracing your childs hand onto cardstock
then using that hand cut out as a template, cut four hands out of felt. 
cut two 2in by 1in rectangles of yellow and slit one end into thirds as shown. 
lay a yellow piece on top of a pinky finger...and roll from that side to the thumb...roll it as tightly as you can to keep it slim...
wrap that flower with a second hand...staggering the edges of the palms a little...play around with it until it looks right...
you can either hot glue it shut here or use a pin to hold in place while you make another flower and cut out 2-3 leaf shapes (long almond shapes)
 stagger the flowers together...add the leaves...and fiddle around with the layout until it makes you happy and looks corsage-y.  use your fingers to gently curl the petals and leaves out..

wrap the bottom of the corsage with ribbon and glue or sew into place...glue or sew a pin on the back and give to your favorite mama...or grandmama. :) 

see?  cute with a little sentiment. :)

6-7min to cool mom points.

so i saw this idea on the internets forever ago...and filed it in my mind under "things moses would like"...then this week moses is learning about sea creatures at school...
a perfect time to make squid dogs. :) they are a snap to make...
 cut hot dogs into one inch sections...
 poke spaghetti noodles through the center...
 ...i used 4-5 noodles (halved) per piece...
 ...boil according to directions on your noodle package...in this case 6-7 minutes...
 and ta-da!  you have squid dogs. 
or food you are giving your kids permission to play with.
either way, it's a win for team mom.
and they were well received.  

and we ended the day with him saying 
i was the goodest mom on earth.

thank you squid dogs


adorable-ness.  smile.  you made it through monday.

oh moses.

we just got home from a wonderful (if also too short) weekend in 
blacksburg (otherwise known as home).

while it is always bittersweet to visit...doug and i both left feeling like God was assuring us that with patience and prayer...we will call it home again.  

we went to the virginia tech spring game...going into the stadium was a dream come true for moses.  he was excited to the point of giggles.  once i helped him to overcome his fear of the hokie bird, that is.  moses does not care for any adult in a costume.  he hates mascots of any kind.  so on the way there i talked to him about how when he dresses up in his shark costume, he is just moses in a shark costume and NOT an actual shark.  and that the hokie bird is just a man named david (name i gave him) in a hokie bird costume and NOT an actual giant bird.  he seemed to get it.  in fact, as we are "watching" the game moses sees the hokie bird walking around the field and yells "HI DAVID!!". :)

and another fun moment...

we stopped at a sheetz on the way home for a moses potty break.  doug took him into the bathroom and both of them go into a stall for moses to do his business.  moses has his hands on his ears (something he always does in bathrooms with automatic toilets)...which makes him talk just a smidge louder than normal.  someone is in the stall next to them.  moses chooses this "talking louder than normal with a man in the stall next to him" moment to repeat a favorite line from the movie Up.  

can you guess which one if you've seen it?  

moses pretty much yells 

so. SO glad that it was doug's turn to take him to the potty. :)

more soon...for now i'm pooped. 

that's my King.

my heart is heavy this Good Friday morning.  heavy for my share of the sin that placed Jesus on the cross.  but i tell you what...no gift has ever been more precious to me. 
every blessing in my life and yours is from Him.   will you think of Him today with me? and thank Him for loving you enough to die for you? a horrible painful death that is far too glamorized.

i'll share with you one of my all time favorite videos...but here are the words first.  let them sink in.

The Bible says my King is the King of the Jews. He’s the King of Israel. He’s the King of Righteousness. He’s the King of the Ages. He’s the King of Heaven. He’s the King of Glory. He’s the King of kings, and He’s the Lord of lords. That’s my King.
I wonder, do you know Him?
My King is a sovereign King. No means of measure can define His limitless love. He’s enduringly strong. He’s entirely sincere. He’s eternally steadfast. He’s immortally graceful. He’s imperially powerful. He’s impartially merciful.
Do you know Him?
He’s the greatest phenomenon that has ever crossed the horizon of this world. He’s God’s Son. He’s the sinner’s Saviour. He’s the centrepiece of civilization. He’s unparalleled. He’s unprecedented. He is the loftiest idea in literature. He’s the highest personality in philosophy. He’s the fundamental doctrine of true theology. He’s the only one qualified to be an all sufficient Saviour.
I wonder if you know Him today?
He supplies strength for the weak. He’s available for the tempted and the tried. He sympathizes and He saves. He strengthens and sustains. He guards and He guides. He heals the sick. He cleansed the lepers. He forgives sinners. He discharges debtors. He delivers the captive. He defends the feeble. He blesses the young. He serves the unfortunate. He regards the aged. He rewards the diligent. And He beautifies the meek.
I wonder if you know Him?
He’s the key to knowledge. He’s the wellspring of wisdom. He’s the doorway of deliverance. He’s the pathway of peace. He’s the roadway of righteousness. He’s the highway of holiness. He’s the gateway of glory.
Do you know Him? Well…
His life is matchless. His goodness is limitless. His mercy is everlasting. His love never changes. His Word is enough. His grace is sufficient. His reign is righteous. And His yoke is easy. And His burden is light.
I wish I could describe Him to you. Yes…
He’s indescribable! He’s incomprehensible. He’s invincible. He’s irresistible. You can’t get Him out of your mind. You can’t get Him off of your hand. You can’t outlive Him, and you can’t live without Him. Well, the Pharisees couldn’t stand Him, but they found out they couldn’t stop Him. Pilate couldn’t find any fault in Him. Herod couldn’t kill Him. Death couldn’t handle Him, and the grave couldn’t hold Him.
Yeah! That’s my King, that’s my King.

little sinner.

 well...this day started off good.  
both boys slept until 7am. 
i stepped on the scale to find out that i am DOWN 8lbs since starting yoga meltdown.
i got to wear a skirt that has not fit me comfortably since having kids.
the boys were getting along.
i had time to work on orders before taking moses to school.
and aaron and i got to go to moses' school for his Easter party and egg hunt.
moses' teachers are SO WONDERFUL.  they include the little siblings whenever they can.
 aaron had the best time having cupcakes while sitting with the big kids and doing the egg hunt.
it was a wonderful morning.  good kids.  good weather.  skinny mommy. 
and then i did myself in. 
i said (TO MYSELF mind you...which should not count) 
"what a great day...i feel like i am being a GREAT mom today...yay me!"

which of course, as all mothers know, causes a crack in the universe and sends children everywhere into a panic stricken frenzy.  so if your kids suddenly turned crazy on you...my bad.  so sorry.

moses completely lost it when i told him that i had to keep an eye on aaron during the "song and dance" portion at the end of the school day and i couldn't stand where he wanted me to stand.

lost his marbles, he did.  granted, i get it.  he was bummed that i couldn't focus on just him.  but i tell you...an aaron turned loose in that classroom is trouble.   

then he just couldn't pull himself together.  
one thing after the other until we left school.
we got home and we had a long talk with him...and to his credit he "got it" and felt remorseful about his behavior.  and for the most part changed his attitude and went on to have an OK day. 

but it was too late.  he had infected his brother. 
 everything for the rest of the day was dramatic for aaron.  
whose nick name we are thinking of changing to "little sinner"...
this shirt i found for him at target?  could not be more perfect. 
our day proceeded downhill at a rapid pace. 
i...fed them frozen waffles for dinner...wiped aaron's nose with a used tissue i found in the car...was ensured that i will have an early date with dementia...started the count down to bed time the moment nap time was over...had a clear understanding of why some parents snap...considered the cost of shipping kids to grandmas...counted the days until we go to florida...and had endless power struggles with aaron...but i stuck to my guns with him.  he seems to take comfort in losing to us in some way...you know when he says "milk RIGHT NOW" and i say "not until you say please, mama (and not RIGHT NOW)".  and we have a stand off until he gives in.  

this kid.  i love him...but boy oh boy.  he is work. 
everything made him mad.  getting him into the tub was similar to how you would expect a cat to behave...legs and arms spread as far out as possible to avoid contact with the water...

but the kicker...the oh my word hedidnotjustdothat...we left the playground much to hoho's dismay.  he kicked and yelled all the way to the car.  he PUNCHED doug* IN THE FACE.  but that's not the kicker...

as we are driving away from the park, about 25 mph or so the little sinner... 

(he was in his carseat strapped in...and the act of getting it open STUNNED him...
and we fixed the child lock upon getting home). 

he was p.o.'ed about leaving.  he was a hot mess.  

he was in bed by 6:39pm. 

we won.  the end.

*doug would like you all to know that he was a supportive parent and husband.  
and he was.  and he is. 

oh lordy {here's a ramble}

remember my "closet" analogy from THIS post a few days ago?

where i shared that i felt like God was treating me like a good closet clean out party...when i talked about it last i felt like i was in the stage where God would start to put the good back in and get things all suited to the way they should be.  i should have known better...God doesn't say "Ok, you're good...let's pile this stuff back in.  what i didn't think of was the shelving.  the framework.  the "stuff" that holds all the other "stuff" together.  with anything in life you HAVE to have a good foundation or whatever you are building will fail.  so i could get things cleaned out and piled in and be "good" for a while before it all falls apart again...continue cycle.  i don't want a cyclical life.  i want a growing, learning, changing life.  each night as i put my head on my pillow i want to be one step closer to being the ME that GOD has equipped me to be.  period. 

so back to shelving.  i was doing my Bible study this past week...and everything i am reading is just hitting me like a ton of bricks...boom...boom...boom. everything is clicking and i am LOVING this study.  it's like it was written JUST for me.  and then i get to a certain question that goes something like this:

think of a time when something you prayed for, for a long time, finally came through and God answered your prayers...

or something to that effect. 

i couldn't answer.  it was the first question out of dozens so far that i just couldn't answer.  so i sit there and ponder it.  asking God to show me why i couldn't answer this...or show me the answer. 

i KNOW i am blessed and HAVE answered prayers...but i couldn't answer THIS question.

and then in my head i hear "you don't have an answer because you have never felt like you were or ARE significant enough for God to care about OR answer your prayers".  

i know it is a lie.  but i realized it IS a lie i believe.  please note the tense here.  

i have prayed since middle school.  over the years with work my prayer life has grown and gotten more meaningful.  but during that ONE moment of this study God made clear to me a lie that i am believing.  that He doesn't care enough to answer my prayers.  i know He loves me.  but that's not the issue here.  and as i thought on it...i wondered (not for too long) where it came from...and one by one images from my past flash across my mind.  and each and every one of them are times where i have been treated as unimportant and not needed and not wanted.  times where people left when i needed them or never showed up in the first place.  a series of events that spoke "you are insignificant" to me. 

and it has happened enough times in my life, and were left "untreated", and reinforced enough that it became part of who i am.  and i've existed this far with it fully intact.  i AM insignificant because i've been fed the lie enough.

and i feel like God is saying "you are significant" needs to be the first shelf in my closet.  
because it is my deepest issue.

now do i know how to fix this?  no.  other than praying that is.  and i have been.  

i need to learn significance.  
Godly significance.

not worldly.
because the world will and has failed me every time.

and hear me when i say...i KNOW that God exists.  i KNOW He is real.  i KNOW that He created the earth and every single thing in it.  i KNOW that He sent His son to die for us.  i am not doubting God. 

but am i significant to Him? i can't say that i know yes.  yet.
i want to.  but it will take time to get there. 

i do hear God calling me to DIG IN. 
get in the word.  get fired up. 
call the enemy out.  don't sit back and enjoy the show. 

don't try to please the world or the people in it.
because you can't please both.

believe me...i've tried to straddle both sides and it's just not possible. 

you have to be all in and all out. 

and i'm on my way in.


i forgot to add this to the "things i made" post...but i also made this to share with you...it's formatted to an 8 by 10.  if you need me to mail it to you to print out just hit me up. :)

happy monday!  don't miss the good stuff in the posts below!

because i really REALLY like to answer your questions...

if you have ever asked me a question and thought i ignored you...i promise i did not.  chances are that i tried to find you and couldn't get an email address...check out this post at Pleasant Home to find out how to make it easier for your favorite bloggers to answer your questions. :)

pretty please.  because i really do like to answer your questions. 


things made this weekend.

 this weekend went by in a flash.  
the good ones always do. 
the good news is that we packed it full of goodness.  
 sunday afternoon i set to making cupcakes for doug to take to work.  :)
yes doug.  to work.  with adults.  
every sunday i make him some form of goodie to take to work to share with his coworkers during their long monday meetings.  it's my way of serving my husband in a proverbs 31 kind of way.  
this week he gets to bring "eggs in a nest" and "lamb" cupcakes because that is what i am making this week to take to moses' preschool party at school. :)   
the tutorial for these can be found over at cookies and cups
 and yes.  my sheep look a bit more frightened than hers...but still cute.  i hope.  i think when i make these again later in the week i'll be sure to lower the ears a bit...maybe that will help.
and some women get excited over shoes...or purses...or jewelry.  
me?  cupcake carriers.  on sale.  yesssssss.
i also finished these on friday...the bulk of the fabric for them came from two very special coming home outfits for two sweet little ones. :) you can get one of your own from my shop.
but my most favorite item made this week...is something i am still working the kinks out of...but even still...i just love them. :)  i call them "messy hair day headbands".  i see lots with bright colors.  the edges will fray...making the all the more awesome. :) more on these soon.

and i will end this ever long post with a recap on palm sunday a la moses:

"jesus rode into droop-sum on a doggy named anna.  
this took place in florida because of all of the palms."

love that kid.


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