be jealous.

oh friends.  i have no idea where this post will take us but my head and heart are swirling with so many thoughts on so many things that i just have to get some of them out. 

i have thought for some time now...that some of you out there must be getting tired of my Jesus loving posts lately...my aching, pouring out my heart posts about what i am learning and how i am learning it.  i know many of you came here or come here for the crafty side of me...and i wish i could apologize for getting all mushy on Jesus.  but i just can't. 

God is answering prayers in my life like never before.  the woman i have begged Him to shape me into is starting to form...some days i want to scream I AM GETTING IT!  of course other days i take a few steps backwards too...but even those times are more often than not, lessons learned.  

there is still so much to learn.  

i have always felt that God talks most clearly with me through pictures...whether it is grabbing the cusp of an idea or explaining something to me in a way i will get...i generally "get" it through a word picture...which is why i have always loved these lyrics by third day:

I caught a glimpse of Your splendor
In the corner of my eye
The most beautiful thing I've ever seen
And it was like a flash of lightning
Reflected off the sky
And I know I'll never be the same

 i could not explain these pictures any better myself.  

and last night, as i was praying, i got one of these pictures in my mind...as i was praying for my character to develop, to be able to hear Him better, to be MORE of who He is calling me to be, i caught a picture of future crystal in the corner of my minds eye.  and really, it took my breath away.  it's hard to explain, but somehow through this picture i could tell the depth and breadth of my character.  it was beautiful.  it was so much more of who i want to be.

and let me just address now, that i am certain that there are some of you reading this, if you got this far,  that are thinking "what a crack head".  and i am sorry, but i don't care.  it's ok if you think i'm crazy.  not to be mean or rude...but let me tell you, sweet sister of mine,  God will do crazy things if you let Him.  hand over your life and reap the results of having someone who knows what they are doing in control.  you won't care how crazy you look either once you feel the comfort that the presence of God in your life will provide. 

years and years ago, if you had asked me what part of my life God is in control of...it would have been a sad looking pie chart.  let me tell you.  but once i decided to let Him out of the "sunday morning" box...girl, that is when life started.  the more i hand over, because He won't force it from my hand, the more blessed i am because of it.  

because i have given God the radio time in my car...i have had more conversations with my boys about Jesus then i would have if listening to the local radio station. 
because i have given God my marriage...i have so much more than a great husband. 

because i have given God my kids (because hey, they ARE His anyway)...i get to be a blessed mother of children.  

because i have given God control of my life path...it is full of peace...if not still hard at times. 

because i have given God my anger and hurt and injustice and pain and sorrow...He has healed and given joy in their places.  

i'm here to tell you...that if you are only seeking God on sunday.  
you aren't hurting God...you are hurting yourselves. 

 and that hurts my heart for you.  God wants to give you so much more. 

care less about looking crazy and care more about getting from God what He WANTS to give you. 

care less about getting the material things that others are flaunting at you and care MORE about the treasures God wants to store in your heart. 

care less about looking foolish in front of others and say to yourself...
as David did, "i'll become even more undignified than this..."

care less about being politically correct and care more about speaking God's truth in love. 

i don't know about you...but i am tired of living up to ever bending societal standards...i'd rather strive to be someone who lives up to THE standards that never change. His. 

i refuse to be a blogger who sets out to make you jealous of anything that i have been blessed with, save one exception.  my undying, unrelenting, unending love of Jesus.  my unquenchable thirst to serve Him, my endless pursuit of His glory, my never stalling desire to have Him be proud of me. 
and i only want you jealous because i want YOU to have it too.

so if you stop reading this blog because you can't take another Jesus post...or you stop following me on twitter because i keep retweeting rick warren...or rev run :)...well, i can offer no apologies for that.  

my God will not be contained to sunday mornings. 
i will serve Him, and follow Him, and share my heart as He prompts me.  

and yes, i will still be crafting and sewing and baking and cooking and sharing silly stories.  
and i love each and every one of you who read 
 (and that love is double for those who comment or email). :)  

i'm thankful for you ladies who are sharing this journey with me and i hope you will be around to know that future crystal...

xo

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