gag me with a spoon.

*a warning to gaggers...i talk about vomit in this post*
some parenting lessons i seem to need to learn every so often. 

one of those, in this house, is to not make my kids eat things they don't want or like. 
it always, always ends in vomit.  

i know, i know.  that sounds like a terrible parenting philosophy.  but hear me out. 

i have gaggers.  three of them.  i'm not one of the three.  both of my boys have been gaggers since birth.  with Moses, since the beginning of his eating life he would gag.  if i was feeding him apples and peas and switched between the two without him knowing about it...he would gag.  

finger too far down his throat...gag.  
seeing someone else gag...gag.  
a fleck of dust in his mouth...gag.
being forced to eat anything...whether he likes it or not...gag. 
laughing too hard...gag. 
running too much...gag.  

i kid you not.

and before you think it, it's not an act.  it's a genuine "thing".  it has always been there.   they inherited it from someone whose testimony i can trust.
every time my kids get sick...there is vomit involved...whether or not there are stomach issues involved in the sickness...the sheer act of being ill flips the gag switch.

if aaron starts to gag we pretty much have to RUN moses out of the room.  or else.

i think my niece threw up for the first time at two.  years.  moses was at two.  days.
i am a pro-haz mat cleaner.  doug bathes and i'm the clean up crew.

in general my boys eat really healthy.  they eat a pretty good breakfast and a pretty good lunch.  and generally that is because those things i make to cater to what they want.  

dinner is something else.  in general our rule is, eat what is served you, or don't eat until breakfast.  

and that rule works well until i get in the way.  and every time i get in the ends in vomit. 

and then i get annoyed at myself for throwing aside a really good family policy because deep down i am worried that someone will hear that my kids rarely eat much of a dinner and label me a failure as a parent.  but even further down deeper than that...i KNOW that they will not go to college living on a diet of oatmeal, yogurt and milk.  

to's way more more important to have a happy, peaceful family time at meals.  i care more about what goes in their hearts than what goes in their mouths...because i know that they eat healthy for the other two meals.  

i know that in general they eat well and are healthy kids. 

even if the only vegetable that Moses will eat willingly is a cucumber.   

this is my reminder to stick to what I KNOW works for MY family and to not be influenced my the "other mom's phenomena".  

yes, it is great that your kids will eat a 100% raw diet, or that they love sushi, or that you only eat organic, hand caught grapes (because picking them would be unfair to the grapes life cycle).  i truly love that your kids love vegetables or beg for whole grains.  

but i am telling you, you put a couscous on my boys' tongue, you better be wearing a plastic parka.


SarahinSC said...

I have a gagger too. The funny family joke we have is how long is it going to be until Ryan throws up. He's 7. He looks at a pea, he gags. He looks at pasta, he gags. It's the pits!

Jennifer said...

hahaha this post made me laugh out loud, as I can identify with it all! We had a green bean gagging/vomit episode not long ago. I am still laughing about it. My kids get their gagging reflex from me. Sometimes a tad too much bread from a sandwich in my mouth can make me gag. LOL! I'm totally with you, offer different foods, offer things that they like too, and if they don't eat, they don't eat. They'll eat when they are hungry.

Millicent said...

my friend- i just read this post out loud to my husband and we didn't know if we should laugh or cry. laughing, because it's just so funny. crying, because it is SO heartwarming to hear that we aren't the only family where our boys won't eat much vegetables (none, actually) and we have to buy oatmeal, yogurt and milk in bulk. we aren't the only family where dinner can be a struggle. AND there are times when i break down and bust out hotdogs, chicken nuggets, mac n' cheese just to get them to eat. we're not alone. we ARE NOT alone. :)

Jessica said...

the theme of this post reminded me of a post you did ... maybe a few years ago? one where moses started throwing up ... and ended up throwing up in your mouth? thereby making you and doug throw up too?? that post scared me for life ... and makes me worry about how i will tend to my future children ... since i too am a gagger!!! don't even get me started about dentist appointments!!!

lol. as always, Crystal, thanks for "keeping it real" ... always informative and funny!

dixie said...

love this post!! i hope you seriously don't worry about what other mom's think? really? don't even waste your time.

carey said...

haha! my niece is like that, always has been. what a great reminder that can be applied in every aspect of parenting. what works for one kid/family/household definitely does not work for all! thanks for sharing. :)

Jennifer said...

I don't have gaggers but I just read about a really cool thing that might help you with the cleanup! A mom (I'm so sorry that I didn't bookmark it and can't tell you specifically) bought a small personal trashcan, like bathroom size and put one of those plastic store bags in it with several folded up paper towels in the bottom. Then another plastic store bag and another few layers of folded paper towels. I think she did three or four of the layers, called it her puke bucket and kept it close by. That way when the kids needed to puke, if they had good aim (fingers crossed!) they could run to the puke bucket, the paper towels could soak up the runny parts (I think my comment just got grosser than your post!), then she could remove to top layer of paper towels/bag, tie up the bag, and have the next layer ready to go! Just might make your day easier! You're doing great!

My2Gs said...

Oh my gosh....I can sooo relate. My son is a gagger. I can't wait for the day that he will eat food with any type of texture without being ill. lol

sara said...

so funny, this morning i woke up thinking about the things i've done & do as a mom that don't fit the "typical standards" but work for us.

on the gagging, my gal sometimes likes to try whatever we are eating, but if it displeases her out it rolls. no matter if there's something to put it in or not.

joyfullness said...

This was a great post Crystal!!
I have perhaps officially crossed over into "Gagger land"..
Oh happy Day!!

jess said...

My husband and I were just talking about this last night at dinner. He was concerned that our 6 year old would starve because she always dislikes supper. No matter what it is.
Glad to hear that others have the same kind of issues.
Learned my lesson when I made her eat tacos at my MIL's house and she threw it all up.

Jennifer said...

It's so easy to compare ourselves to other moms and our kids to other kids. i have a friend that does all organic foods, mainly raw foods, her son will eat anything...and at first I felt like a failure compared to her. But then I realized that it doesn't matter. We do what works for our family. My daughter is healthy and happy, and that's what really matters. Even if she does try to eat the cat's food anytime she gets the chance :)

Happy Hodge Podge said...

I'm sorry, Crystal; but this post made me laugh -- really hard. Laugh-to-the-point-of-gagging hard! You are not alone, my friend.

Oh Mandie said...

oh man my 4 year old is the exact same way. He'll eat without fuss for both breakfast and lunch, but dinnertime is another story completely. And really, as long as he's getting what he needs from the other two meals a day, it's not worth the fight that dinner brings to make him eat whats on his plate (or the inevitable vomit clean up afterwards!)

This post made me laugh out loud :)

gabbyfek said...

ohmygosh i adore you.
ev is a gagger, too.
i'm totally fine with mostly mac and cheese for that reason.
you are the best.

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