right now.

 something just struck me.  the light was hitting the kitchen and windows just right.  filling the house with the beautiful early morning golden sun.  and i wanted to remember it all as it was.  no cleaning up first or making things just so...i wanted to remember everything the way it was right now.  
 our landing zone just inside the back door...featuring my anniversary gift and hoho in the background.
 the view from the kitchen. my new chairs make me smile.
 i love this spot.  this sunshine.  those curtains.
 the preferred method for watching TV.  in his snowpants.  aka "fireman suit".  that he has worn on top of his clothing for more days than i can count.  we haven't had snow for weeks.
 my station.  my pile of ironing in the corner.  my new sewing machine.  i never told you that i took back my other new one and upgraded again to the viking sapphire 835.  i just wasn't gelling with the other one.   
 my favorite photo collages of the boys that i do every year.  reminds me that a year goes by in a heartbeat.  way too fast.  i have a four year old and a nearly two year old.  crazy.

my minimal valentines day decor.  pompom fringe and vintage valentines. 

back to cleaning.  happy friday!

re-upholstery a la glue gun.

 if you are a "real" re-upholstery professional...you may want to avert your eyes.  this is a redo whilst making do with what I had on hand.  though...i may be willing to bet you that you can't tell the difference once you are sitting...  
 here's a before, next to an in progress chair.  we went to visit our uncle b last weekend and i kindly stole acquired these from his garage.  he thought the red was just fine.  i thought so too.  if i were going to put them in a dental office...they had a goodwill sticker on them of a whopping $5 each.  
 i did not take off the red before i put on the houndstooth.  i took one look at the bagillion staples and just had a feeling that my patience would not tolerate the removal of so many staples.  the fabric i used is upholstery weight so you can't tell...and because i didn't start from scratch...i had to use a glue gun in some places...once i stapled where i could.  
 my favorite part may be the part you never see...a fun fabric covering the bottoms.  
it's fun just knowing it's there. 
i'm pretty pleased with my unconventional re-upholstery style.  :)

what i wish. num 17.

Welcome to "What I wish I could tell you"...an anonymous platform for bloggers to share what they don't feel free to share on their own blogs.  If you have a story/thought/ache/hurt/feeling/secret/prayer request you want to get out, feel free to email me at ricracandpompoms @ gmail.com.  You will remain anonymous to all but me unless you choose otherwise. 
The author of this entry has chosen to stay anonymous.  Say hello to anon #17: 

What I wish I could tell you is that I dont know what I should do.
I realized we dont want the same things anymore. Maybe we never did. Maybe we were so excited about the idea of moving forward that we never looked very closely. I dont know if we have anything in common. I dont know if I can live each day knowing that I have to sacrifice all of the things I want and have so many expectations put on me.
I want to live in new york. You dont, and you think I want to live there because it is where she lives, but it isnt. It is where I feel the most like myself. I never wanted ot move away, but I was too young to make that choice, and I want to go back. I hate this house and this nowheresville town we live in. I hate having to drive 20 minutes to get anywhere and I hate being in a place where there is no culture. You love new york. It feels like you only say never to hurt me. I would settle for a 'maybe someday', but you wont even let me have my dreams.
I want to travel. Not just to see your parents in middle america- but to see the world. I want to go to Egypt. It has been my dream since I was 10. You have made it clear that you will never go. You have said you will not be OK with me going alone or with friends. I would never keep you from something that would so easily make your dreams come true.
I want to foster parent and adopt. Im not saying I wont put myself through the torture of fertility treatments so that we can try to have our own baby- but I feel so strongly that my children are already out there waiting for me, and you tell me that you would never even consider it. You say horrible things about these children, who I already work with and love. Dont you see how we can offer these kids a chance? They are good and caring and lost and alone. THey dont act that way because they are bad, but because they have nothing worth trying for. Im not saying I cant be flexible on age, or even that it has to be one of the kids I work with. I know you want to be a dad to little ones, but what is wrong with 6 or 7? What If my condition prevents us from EVER having a baby? will you change your mind?
I want to celebrate christmas. I realize we are not christian, but I want to and have always wanted to. I want so much to put up a tree and sing christmas carols, and go to christmas plays, and wake up on christmas morning that It hurts. Every year it hurts more. I KNOW you feel the same, and have since you were little. But, you say that your family would never understand. Why cant you see that I am your family too?
I want a day, just one, where I dont feel like I am under your thumb. Where I dont feel obligated to give in to your insane neediness and constantly rub your shoulders or cuddle. I need space. I want one day where I can purchase something small without getting the third degree. We are very comfortable, and I work too and feel I should have the freedom to purchase these things without explaining myself. I also wish I could have a day where you did not constantly comment on my salary or the fact that I love what I do and dont have plans to make more money in the future. You call it having no goals. I call it contentment. I have lots of goals- you just dont share any of them.
I am not happy. But, I love you. I dont know what I should do.

Want a turn to share?  Email me at ricracandpompoms @ gmail.com. 
Feel free to comment and encourage or just relate and assure.

working. thinking. pondering.

 well the short story is that the realtor assessed our home at a pretty good price (which we like) but then he recommended that we sell it at a significantly less price (which we are not a fan of).  
so we are trying to decide what to do from here...do we scrap the idea and just resolve to live here for another six months, year, two years? and do all the projects that we would love to do here.  do we list it for sale at the price we would want to get for it?

it seems like an enormous decision...that i don't feel at all qualified to make.  but the good news is, that either way, i feel ok about it.  whichever decision we make will be a good one.  but as i have told my husband, moving, at this point, would be a lot less work, and maybe cheaper too...because i have big plans for making this house work its hardest for us.  

so we shall see...
in the mean time, i am working away on some new things for the shop...a couple of wreaths, a cute canvas and some red fur valentine hoho's.  :)

we are just praying for God's will to become apparent to us...and we are asking a lot of questions to everyone we know...like, do you owe a realtor money if your house doesn't sell?  how hard is it to install a new backyard fence? (eric you want to come down for a weekend to help with that one? :) how hard is tile to lay?  etc...

more waiting and pondering...but this time with a lot less emotion attached. :)

mantle love.

we are still waiting to hear from the realtor...

so i thought i would distract myself with a totally unrelated blog post...

did you know...we take down our Christmas goodies on the day after Christmas.  I am always so ready to get my house back...to set my focus on spring and forge ahead into the new year with a fresh, clean house.  

here is my new mantle...a la etsy. 
frame prints are from box64 studios...a Christmas gift from my SIL.
hokies sign from go jump in the lake.
pray sign, that i ADORE, is from burley girl designs.
bunting by me.
clock from target ages ago.
jar of shells from Boca.  a place we just bought our tickets to...*swoon*.
paint color is crystal aqua from valspar...someone always asks. :) 

have you started your post holiday decorating?  do show and tell.
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