what i wish. num 6.

Welcome to "What I wish I could tell you"...an anonymous platform for bloggers to share what they don't feel free to share on their own blogs.  If you have a story/thought/ache/hurt/feeling/secret/prayer request you want to get out, feel free to email me at ricracandpompoms @ gmail.com.  You will remain anonymous to all but me unless you choose otherwise. 
The author of this entry has chosen to stay anonymous.  Say hello to anon #6: 

~*~
I wish that I could tell you that I have the most amazing relationship with my in-laws and that they love me. I married my husband over 11 years ago and we have been together 17 years in all. These people have known me for years but, yet never gotten to know me. I will admit that I wasn't always the best "christian" person and I may still not be, but then I am not perfect and I am trying. But I do want the respect and love from them like they give my children. And I must say that they have gotten better towards me since I had our first child, but I still don't feel like I belong. and is it wrong of me to feel like they should be not so much kissing my feet but showering me in love since I have given them the only grandchildren they will ever have? My brother in-law is in his 40's and has never been married and more than likely never will. And if it wasn't for the man who married my husband and I we may not even be together because he didn't want children at the time too. I feel like my husband thinks that I am crazy sometimes for thinking like they don't like me, but then I think that he knows but is too afraid to say anything. And I know that he has issues with my side of the family too, but then I always stick up for him. Is it crazy that I just want to be accepted for who I am? I am a stay at home mother of two and now I can add college student to my resume as well. I wish that people would get to know the real me, the me that would bend over backwards to do anything for them, the me that cries when I haven't talked to you in years or cries because I haven't talked to you in years. I want people to know that I can put my foot in my mouth at times and sometimes it is only me trying to make things better for others even if it destroys my friendship with you ( which has happen a lot). I also want you to know that I am a crafty type person and that I do love to make things from quilts to purses and everything in between. But I think if I could tell you all something else it would be this.. I am an Unhappy person with my life the way it is and I am sorry but I am trying to work through it. It has nothing to do with the people around me or in my life it is just a feeling I have had for years. I hate the way I look from my weight to my hair color. I guess that in closing I just want to feel like I am loved and that I belong.
~*~

Want a turn to share?  Email me at ricracandpompoms @ gmail.com. 
Feel free to comment and encourage or just relate and assure.

what i wish. num 5.

Welcome to "What I wish I could tell you"...an anonymous platform for bloggers to share what they don't feel free to share on their own blogs.  If you have a story/thought/ache/hurt/feeling/secret/prayer request you want to get out, feel free to email me at ricracandpompoms @ gmail.com.  You will remain anonymous to all but me unless you choose otherwise. 
The author of this entry has chosen to stay anonymous.  Say hello to anon #5: 

~*~
 The Truth About Singleness: A Letter to God from a Longing Heart


Dear Love,
I'm figuring it out.  And by it, I mean the dusty island that is my heart.  A girl doesn't need to be taught how to recognize when a boy likes her.  It's like there's an embedded honing device that measures the longer-than-necessary glances and million dollar smiles that are code for "you are the gravity that keeps me spinning."  These automatic signals are picked up starting somewhere around the age when everything about a girl's physical self changes, and they are sent straight to her heart...where they are forever banked.  And if a girl keeps her bank at least partially filled, her feminine heart and hope for a heart-rescuer remain intact.  If, however, she ever finds her heart parched and her bank dehydrated, her "hope ticker" falls: Down, down, down. 


I can't pretend forever that I am missing the honing device or the bank.  I'm a girl.  I also can't pretend that I am living in an ocean when my bank dried up a long time ago.  At least, I can't pretend with you.  Love, I have to tell you a secret.  A long time ago, when I realized the throat of my heart was getting a little croaky with thirst, I shut down my hope bank.  Yep, that's right.  Just stuck some dynamite in the middle of the dry, cracked bank and watched it go up in smoke.  It seemed safer, easier that way.  Better to not sit in the dusty cave, waiting for a signal to be found while my heart shriveled some more.  So I gave up.  My hope bank closed.  And I pulled on my boots and straightened my vest, determined to look the part of the proper banker.  After all, who needs the building?  Who needs?  I certainly don't.  Desires are the for the weak.  No man needed here.


Love, I gave up on being chosen, being loved {in only the way a man can love a woman} a long time ago.  And I'll have you know I lit the bank on fire myself.  Granted, it was dry and went up like a twig in a forest fire, but I lit it.  You see, I have another secret.  I'm not who I want to give.


I guess I've just always dreamed of making a man smile to his toes.  I don't want my hero-man to just be content.  I want to be his Jesus-pointer, his partner for life, the beautiful girl on the cover of Brides magazine.  There's only one problem: I'm not her.  I'm ME.  I'm complicated, emotional, less-than-gorgeous, and full of big dreams that no one, sometimes not even myself, want to carry or realize.  I'm like the booby prize from the county fair.  I buried my hopes because it's just safer.  If I can't give away the ten day cruise to the Bahamas, I'm not gonna be giving away the half-alive goldfish, either.  Not that anyone has been longing for the booby prize of ME, anyway.


Love, I've always dreamed of the very thing every girl dreams of: A man to love her and pursue her, a man to be the closest picture of Jesus she will ever hold, this side of heaven.  Several heart-years ago, I noticed my prospects were non-existent, so I took myself off the market.  I built walls around myself, pretending it didn't matter.  "I'm strong!" I proclaimed.  "I'm a fortress!  I don't need a man!  Heck, I don't even want a man!  They have cooties, right?"  Love, I've come to peace with the idea of you and I.  Just me and Jesus, carrying His dreams in me.  To Timbuktu with desire!


You just helped me realize something, though.  Maybe I'm limiting you.  Me, with all my crazy dreams.  Because all I see when I look at ME is a giant fortress protecting a pile of rubble.  Maybe you intend to tear the walls down so that the world can see what is blooming out of the ashes: A new hope only you could create.  A new hope in God-given desire.  Because maybe I am holding back someone's down-to-the-toes smiles.  Maybe steady and gorgeous is not every man's dream.  Maybe there is a man outside the fortress, waiting to be let in.


So, Love, here's my fearful plea, a sacrifice of the very guts of my soul: Heal my heart.  If you want them, I'm giving you my bricks and mortar, my wall-building tools so that you can do something I've never dared try: Expose ME.  Fair warning, though...the bricks are many, and they protect little but a pile of ashes.  Can you make something grow where my hope bank once stood?  If not, I'm content with just you, my Everything.


Yours,
Beloved
~*~

Want a turn to share?  Email me at ricracandpompoms @ gmail.com. 
Feel free to comment and encourage or just relate and assure.

20 minute crafter. glass bubble magnets.

 Aaaaaaaaaaand we're back! :)  Did you think I was ever gonna come back?
 Today we are going to make cute little glass magnets...these are GREAT teacher gifts, grandma, gifts, babysitter, mail lady, etc.  The combos are endless...
 Here is what you need:
(everything but the paper/photos was bought at The Crafty Dragonfly)
glass marbles
diamond glaze (i use this because it is GREAT for getting rid of all of the little cracks and bubbles in the glass marbles)
pretty papers or photos
 Move your marble around on your paper/photo to get an 
idea of where you want to center your marble...
 ...same process with your photos...
 ...add a SMALL dot of glue to the center of the image you are using...
a little diamond glaze goes a long way...
 ...place your marble on the center of the glue dot...
 ...to work out all the tiny bubbles and what not you can gently 
twist the marble back and forth until they work themselves out...
 ...when the diamond glaze is dry...say overnight...you trim away the excess paper but cutting along the edge of the circle of glue...it helps to use your scissors at an angle to get in nice and close.
...add your magnet with glue.
Let dry and gift away!  These look cute presented in a dressed up altoids tin...or if you shop at Micheal's they have similar pretty tins by the registers. :) The process is the same for photos, too.

I'll answer any questions in the comments. :)
xo

what i wish. num 4.

Welcome to "What I wish I could tell you"...an anonymous platform for bloggers to share what they don't feel free to share on their own blogs.  If you have a story/thought/ache/hurt/feeling/secret/prayer request you want to get out, feel free to email me at ricracandpompoms @ gmail.com.  You will remain anonymous to all but me unless you choose otherwise. 
The author of this entry has chosen to stay anonymous.  Say hello to anon #4: 

~*~
To my mother,

I was born into a long line of women who have not known how to communicate. Because
none of us were taught how to communicate. When things got messy, you did the
most logical thing—you swept it under the rug. That did not mean that messy things
disappeared. They were just waiting to come out and make a bigger mess.

But when my husband and I decided to adopt a baby from a foreign land—a land where
no, the people do not look like us—that was when you decided to communicate. First,
by your silence. Then by voicing every single inappropriate and self-righteous argument
that could possibly have been made. Not once did you think of this baby. Not once
did you think of your relationship with the grandchildren you already had, and how that
might be threatened by your words and actions. And to me, perhaps most significantly,
you did not consider what this meant to our relationship as mother and daughter. Oh,
yeah—and you call yourself a Christian.

When we came home, and we walked down the steps in the airport with our new baby in
our arms, you weren’ t there. A few others were—people who had become our family by
choice, not the family we were born into. Once again, you wanted to sweep everything
under the rug and pretend that the entire previous year—the hurtful words that cannot be
taken back, the arguments that you made, the prejudices I believe you still have—did not
exist.

But because I do have a relationship with Christ, and believe in a loving and forgiving
God and because I honor Him above all else, I forgive you. I forgive you for MY
healing and my own well-being, not for yours. I hope that someday you realize that
only because I honor my God, I have chosen to continue a relationship with you. It is
hard, it is not what I would have chosen if I would not have gone through months of
struggling and leaning on my one True Parent—my heavenly Father. I realize now
that I can relate to my child, who was abandoned as a tiny baby in a faraway country
because of circumstances we can’ t even imagine. I can relate to my child because I too
was abandoned by my parents. I hope and pray that I can help my child find the same
healing that I continue to find in Christ. However, I also offer my child the promise of
unconditional love and the safe and secure knowledge that my child will NEVER be
abandoned by me.
~*~

Want a turn to share?  Email me at ricracandpompoms @ gmail.com. 
Feel free to comment and encourage or just relate and assure.

what i wish. num 3.

Welcome to "What I wish I could tell you"...an anonymous platform for bloggers to share what they don't feel free to share on their own blogs.  If you have a story/thought/ache/hurt/feeling/secret/prayer request you want to get out, feel free to email me at ricracandpompoms @ gmail.com.  You will remain anonymous to all but me unless you choose otherwise. 
The author of this entry has chosen to stay anonymous.  Say hello to anon #3: 

~*~
I wish you knew how difficult it is to be the wife of a minister. I love that my husband serves with all of himself but at times I would love to be able to tell people, "enough, he is mine and I would like some time with him over dinner when the phone doesn't ring and he is out the door to be with you instead of us."

I wish you knew that I just want a friend, someone to talk to honestly that I can trust won't go and tell others, or judge me for not being the "perfect" Christian wife. I wish you knew how hard it is for our family to set boundaries for ourselves to keep God first and next our family, before our service to you. I wish you knew how we have to constantly remind ourselves that we weren't called to please people, but to please God alone. Sorry it upsets you that we aren't having this event, or singing that song but we really do feel like "this" is where God has called us to lead you.

I would love to feel comfortable just being me. I don't blame this all on you, I know I need to be accountable only to God and not to who you think I am or should be.  I'm reminding you that we are just like you; sinners saved by grace, over and over again. Is it to much to ask of you to remind me of that too? Could you tell me you know how I feel when I can't seem to get my kids to obey and get in the car. The look of disapproval is just to much for me today. I'm not a fan of the way they are acting either but I don't always have the answers either.

This may be shocking to you but my husband and I would LOVE for you to invite us over for a beer and smores  by your fire pit like you do all of the other couples in the church. He loves the movie The Big Lebowski, I read things other than the Bible, and it would be awesome if we could just feel like normal people when we tell you that.

I guess I just wish you knew that I'm just like you. My husband would love to have biscuits and gravy for dinner but I don't care; I hate biscuits and gravy so we aren't having them. Unfortunately I yell at my kids sometimes. I love to sing Hillsong at the top of my lungs.  I curse. I am brought to immense emotion when I grasp even a little bit of what grace really is. Sometimes I would love to quit. Sometimes I think I have it all figured out. I love my kids more than I ever thought I could. I thought our family was going to fall a part two years ago, but you would have never known it. I eat to much ice cream. I love my husband more today than any day before but I have a very difficult time telling him that. Don't you?



~Anonymous

~*~

Want a turn to share?  Email me at ricracandpompoms @ gmail.com. 
Feel free to comment and encourage or just relate and assure.

what i wish. num 2.

Welcome to "What I wish I could tell you"...an anonymous platform for bloggers to share what they don't feel free to share on their own blogs.  If you have a story/thought/ache/hurt/feeling/secret/prayer request you want to get out, feel free to email me at ricracandpompoms @ gmail.com.  You will remain anonymous to all but me unless you choose otherwise. 
 
I have several in the series lined up ready to go...what is amazing to me is how I can relate to so many, including today's, and at the end of the day, I really believe that the simple act of knowing you are not alone can go a long way to healing in itself. 

The author of this entry has chosen to stay anonymous.  Say hello to anon #2: 

~*~

You have no idea how close you are coming to becoming our father.  You treat your beautiful wife horribly, expecting her to do everything for you despite her being in a wheelchair.  Your daughter doesn't know the true love of a good, healthy father/daughter relationship.  If you continue to go down this route, you WILL lose your family and die sad and alone like he did.  There is nothing in this world more important than the relationships you have with your wife & child, don't continue the cycle & ruin this.  Swallow your pride, seek out help, accept that while you may be his son that you DON'T have to become him.
 
~*~

Want a turn to share?  Email me at ricracandpompoms @ gmail.com. 
Feel free to comment and encourage or just relate and assure.
 

what i wish. num 1.

Welcome to the first installment of "What I wish I could tell you"...an anonymous platform for bloggers to share what they don't feel free to share on their own blogs.  If you have a story/thought/ache/hurt/feeling/secret/prayer request you want to get out, feel free to email me at ricracandpompoms @ gmail.com.  You will remain anonymous to all but me unless you choose otherwise.

The author of this entry has chosen to stay anonymous.  Say hello to anon #1: 

~*~

What I wish I could tell you...is that the biggest source of pain in my life is that my entire family has nothing to do with me and my children.  My biggest source of grief is when I hear about a friends mother coming to pick her children up for the weekend so that she and her husband can reconnect.  
I am SO jealous.  I never have help like that.

  The biggest ache in my heart is not having my family love my children like they should...people who want to help and be there...who would put themselves aside, if only for a visit.  My biggest hurt is missing what others have...a happy healthy family(outside of our own family unit)...help with childcare...having parents/grandparents/aunts/uncles/etc.  I can't talk about this openly on my own blog because I know they read...but not because they are interested in seeing how we are doing...nope, just to gather fuel for their fire of why they have nothing to do with us.  To justify their actions.  So I never mention them because there is nothing to mention.     

My kids have no idea who my parents are.  Anytime we come across a photo of them here or there no light bulb goes off in my kids minds about who they are.  None of my family has made any sort of effort to get to know my kids or be part of their life.  Most of them have never seen my kids in person. And they live right down the road.  The reason? Because it's not on their terms.  Because we have chosen to live a lifestyle that is free from (voluntary) drama and (voluntary) pain and (voluntary) strife.  Because we choose to not participate with their unhealthy choices.   

The only time they reach out to us is to hurt us with their actions.  
To try to drag us down and "get us".

And while it makes me weary at times...in the end I know it is best.   And really...day to day it doesn't bother me.  Because I am happier and healthier and closer to God than ever.  And I am praying for the Lord to get to them and have His way. 

The only time it really gets to me is when I want a break from my kids and wish I had family to call for help.  And even that I am praying for God to free me from.  To you that may sound cold...to me it's the Peace that passes all understanding when you have made the right decision.     

~*~

Want a turn to share?  Email me at ricracandpompoms @ gmail.com. 
Feel free to comment and encourage or just relate and assure.

what i wish...

Just wanted to share that I have had a GREAT response to the idea of doing a "What I wish I could tell you" series...so it's a go.  I can't wait to share and start healing for whomever chooses to open up. 
I am already praying that this series will be a healing start to all who participate or read...that sharing and relating can point us in the direction we need to go...that it can open doors and heal hurts and help us to start fresh where need be.  

In case you need some inspiration or clarification about the topics I am talking about you can visit Rocks in My Dryer.  She does a terrific series called "What I'd like for you to know". The only difference is that she does it openly...and I am choosing to offer the safety of anonymity.  And topics are in no way limited...this a real blog...chock full of real life.  My hope being...the author can get it all out there...still get feedback from bloggers/readers all over and get on with the healing!  Of course if you would like your identity disclosed you can do that too.

So if you are heavy with something you need to share...then pray about it...and email me if it's right for you.  (ricracandpompoms @ gmail.com)  And know that I will be praying over each and every hurt...


xo

julia project num. 8

 I'm a bit embarrassed at how long it has taken me to get the next Julia project done...summer really just slipped by a little too fast for me...and here we are around the corner from November...and I am on number 8...but if you have been following you will notice that I never put a time frame on this project...and that is for good reason...I know me. :)  
This project is for Casey...who sent me the yard and requested the "Flouncy Bag". 
The pattern was easy enough...except that one of the pieces called for an oval that was 4 by 10in...and didn't give you a template or pattern...which I thought was odd...and annoying.  But the rest of the bag came together easily...and I think the result is cute!

I hope you like it Casey! 

You can see the rest of the Julia projects HERE.

moses' room.

 A few of you asked about Moses' room a couple of posts ago...so I thought I would take the opportunity to document it...
 He has the brightest room in the house...and has the only room that we have not painted since we moved in...
 all we have done is to paint a stripe over a girly stencil.
 Almost everything is either from Ikea, Target or made by me...
 All of the signs are from Doug's room growing up...the bed and bedding is from Ikea.
 Rug on the floor is from Ikea, dresser from Target...flag of Norway. :)
 Bed buddies.

 This is by the door...map of the states done in license plates...cross stitch done for Doug by a family member...
 License plates that I made into a single huge art piece.  Doug promises that he has never stolen a single sign or license plate...so they have all been come by honest. 
 His room is one of my favorites...because it is the easiest to clean...EVERYTHING has a place and there is minimal clutter.  Aside from making the bed and picking up a few stickers...I really didn't have to clean up much to take these photos. :)
The painting was done for Moses by a friend...its a sky writer doing Moses' name...clock is from a yard sale...1, 2, 3 bins are from Ikea...so is the paper roll.   The bins hold crayons, scissors and paper.
 This GIANT frame is a super clearance from from Target...it's one of those "sign here" things for weddings...it used to hang in our living room but I was tired of it...so it got a nice M and some photos of some of Moses' favorite things and memories.  The two art pieces on the right are also super clearance finds. :)
On my to-do list is to paint this room...I am thinking a pale grey...you can't tell from the photos but it really needs it.  Even still...it's a happy room for a happy boy.  
:)

i love words.


 I have a love of words.  My home is full of them.  Prints, artwork and everything covered in words and phrases that are meant to set my mind straight and remind me of the way I should be thinking.  Some of my favorites are from Studio Mela and say things like "Be happy for this DAY is your life"...we have a custom made sign that says "Do what you have to so you can do what you want to" which more days than not reminds me to get my bum in gear. 

Maybe it's because I'm a visual person/learner.  When I was in college it was enough for me to show up, watch the slides of notes and comes test time I just had to read them over.  

Maybe it's because I love to read.  I currently have a huge stack of books on my bedside table. 

Whatever the means or reasons...I LOVE words in my home. 
Forever ago I found this tutorial at Little Blue Boo and fell in love.  I made it that day in my head and it has been living there ready to come out ever since.  Finally, months later via my Cricut and some spray paint it came to life. 
And I love it.  It reminds me of some of the reasons I am in love with the Lord. 
He is my redeemer and washes me clean. 
He is my God, there is no other.
He is a wonderful counselor and listens to my every worry.
He is the only perfect Father ever. 
He is the first and the last and my everything. 

I love having this hanging in my home where I can see it all the time and be reminded.

xo

done and done.

 One dozen little owls for my favorite little four year old.
 I finished just in time to fill them with popcorn and candy corn.
Moses was delighted that his mom made something for his school friends.  
How many more years do you think I can get away with that? 

xo
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
Blogging tips