Because I have 24 minutes before my laptop dies I am challenging myself
to make this succinct and to the point.
In regards to my devastation a few posts back...I have had my cry. I grieved my dream. And crazy as it may sound...I am have moved on to the "up by the bootstraps" phase. There is a tiny part of me that has continued to scream "IF YOU THINK THAT WAS THE BEST THING FOR YOU AND GOD SAID NO...THEN JUST WAIT AND SEE WHAT GOD DOES".
Somehow it was still a small voice. But it is getting louder ever day. Somehow I am taking deep breaths and KNOWING, not just hoping, that it will be OK.
I have been pondering my journey to this place where I have lost hope...wondering how I have gone from an eager optimist...to a pessimist with no hope. And could only think of one thing that has gotten me this far. Hurt. Piled on hurt, piled on hurt, piled on hurt. All heaped high on a big platter. That for whatever reason continued to pile up and not go away. And I was carrying it. And it was heavy. Things that I can't go into detail here that range from family to friends to churches.
Well I am dumping it. I am tossing that platter and finding a pretty new plate.
Preferably a red and aqua one with polka dots, please.
Because I have always known that my LIFE, if not my location, is awesome. I have a great life, with a great husband, and great kids and I serve an Awesome God.
I have always known that God is good and that He is in control and that His plans are best.
Some switch has been thrown and I am praying that it doesn't flutter. I NEED to stay in this place where things slide off like butter and don't stick like gum.
On that note...
We have decided to sell our house. Even if we are going to continue to live in this city, we need more space, more room for these boys to grow, for my business to grow, for life to progress. We need some prayers for a good sale.
But, for now, we are taking deep breaths. Trusting God. And enjoying the experience of Christmas with two
wild and crazy sweet little boys. We will count our blessings and we will eat too much food. We will make this the best Christmas that we will ever have in 2010.
Now 9 because I was editing.
I am thankful for your kind words and emails. I am thankful for people who can love me at my worst...it makes sharing my best all the more wonderful.
I pray that you have a very Merry Christmas...and that the true Joy of the season will saturate you.