what i wish. num 3.

Welcome to "What I wish I could tell you"...an anonymous platform for bloggers to share what they don't feel free to share on their own blogs.  If you have a story/thought/ache/hurt/feeling/secret/prayer request you want to get out, feel free to email me at ricracandpompoms @ gmail.com.  You will remain anonymous to all but me unless you choose otherwise. 
The author of this entry has chosen to stay anonymous.  Say hello to anon #3: 

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I wish you knew how difficult it is to be the wife of a minister. I love that my husband serves with all of himself but at times I would love to be able to tell people, "enough, he is mine and I would like some time with him over dinner when the phone doesn't ring and he is out the door to be with you instead of us."

I wish you knew that I just want a friend, someone to talk to honestly that I can trust won't go and tell others, or judge me for not being the "perfect" Christian wife. I wish you knew how hard it is for our family to set boundaries for ourselves to keep God first and next our family, before our service to you. I wish you knew how we have to constantly remind ourselves that we weren't called to please people, but to please God alone. Sorry it upsets you that we aren't having this event, or singing that song but we really do feel like "this" is where God has called us to lead you.

I would love to feel comfortable just being me. I don't blame this all on you, I know I need to be accountable only to God and not to who you think I am or should be.  I'm reminding you that we are just like you; sinners saved by grace, over and over again. Is it to much to ask of you to remind me of that too? Could you tell me you know how I feel when I can't seem to get my kids to obey and get in the car. The look of disapproval is just to much for me today. I'm not a fan of the way they are acting either but I don't always have the answers either.

This may be shocking to you but my husband and I would LOVE for you to invite us over for a beer and smores  by your fire pit like you do all of the other couples in the church. He loves the movie The Big Lebowski, I read things other than the Bible, and it would be awesome if we could just feel like normal people when we tell you that.

I guess I just wish you knew that I'm just like you. My husband would love to have biscuits and gravy for dinner but I don't care; I hate biscuits and gravy so we aren't having them. Unfortunately I yell at my kids sometimes. I love to sing Hillsong at the top of my lungs.  I curse. I am brought to immense emotion when I grasp even a little bit of what grace really is. Sometimes I would love to quit. Sometimes I think I have it all figured out. I love my kids more than I ever thought I could. I thought our family was going to fall a part two years ago, but you would have never known it. I eat to much ice cream. I love my husband more today than any day before but I have a very difficult time telling him that. Don't you?



~Anonymous

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Feel free to comment and encourage or just relate and assure.
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15 comments:

Anonymous said...

i can totally relate. You aren't alone. I am also a preacher's wife. Thank you for sharing and being open and honest.

Elise said...

Oh wow...I am totally "guilty" of putting the pastor and his wife{not ours, but in general} on a pedestal. So sorry to anonymous and its great to hear her perspective on it. Growing up in an uptight church{Crystal, you may relate}, you think the pastor is untouchable and God forbid you drink a beer-you might go to Hell. This is so refreshing to read.
Elise

Biz said...

Beautifully stated. Refreshingly honest. No one is perfect. No one is meant to be perfect. You are loved and appreciated for your sevices! Thank you for reminding me that we are all human no matter what our calling may be :)

Cora Anne Designs said...

Thanks so much for sharing!

Megan W said...

Amen, Amen and AMEN!!! Thank you for sharing what is obviously such a heartfelt email.

I am a pastor myself and my husband (who is not clergy) and I struggle the same way.

Know you are are not alone. And You are loved!

Mollie said...

Amen. Being a pastor's wife is very hard work. It's a job in itself, for sure, and there are days that I wish we could have a normal weekend and travel like normal people. Come on over to my house and we'll have a beer and s'mores. It's amazing how no one wants to be friends with a pastor and his wife/family! Who knew that you could feel so alone in your own church?? Be encouraged, friend. And shoot me an email when you're tired of putting the kids to bed by yourself. I'm probably doing the same thing. :) Praying for you and your sweet heart!!

carey said...

LOVED to read such an honest perspective! thank you for sharing.

Laura said...

Thank you for sharing your heart. I smiled when I read your husband likes "The Big Lebowski". Too often we all think our pastors and their families don't enjoy a good laugh just like everyone. You are prayed for!!

Anonymous said...

Thank for sharing your story. One of my dearest friends is currently in seminary and struggles with these same feelings - of wanting to feel "normal" around others and to just be included as people/friends rather than the pastor and his wife. Blessings to you!

Estee said...

Thank you for sharing. I feel bad for those narrow minded people who can't see you are people just as they are.

Anonymous said...

I am a minister's wife too. I relate to EVERYTHING you said!! Thank you for your honesty and realness. It is so nice to know I am not alone in how I feel. Sometimes I wish I wasn't a pastor's wife. I just want to be seen as a normal family like everyone else. I liked what you wrote about how you would love for someone to invite you over for beer and smores. Totally understand that. Our house is a revolving door of people, needing wisdom, needing someone to talk to, needing a place to go, we have small group here once a week, we have families over for dinner often, ect, ect. I love having people in our home but goodness gracious it sure would nice to be invited to someone else's home for once!

*sigh... I completely understand where you are. Thank you for sharing with us. It gives me comfort in knowing I am not alone. {hugs} to you. :)

Anonymous said...

This brought me to tears. I feel your pain and totally relate. I also unfortunately care too much what people think which keeps me from not perpetuating their assumptions and stereotypes. God bless you!

Megan said...

Can we be best friends forever and ever? I could have written that post. {my husband thought I did}. I, too, am a crazy woman saved by grace. Oh, and I'm also a Pastor's wife.

I'd love to know you in blog land. Stop by and say hi ...or don't. {I get it...anonymous}

Jane said...

wonderfully honest and true words. Oh I will endeavour to not put this kind of pressure on my vicar's family!
I would love to be friends with you cos I feel like we're quite similar (even though I'm not a wife) wow I feel pressure to appear as though everything is perfect!

thanks for sharing!

Jane said...

wonderfully honest and true words. Oh I will endeavour to not put this kind of pressure on my vicar's family!
I would love to be friends with you cos I feel like we're quite similar (even though I'm not a wife) wow I feel pressure to appear as though everything is perfect!

thanks for sharing!

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