a letter to an anonymous emailer.

I love being able to blog.  Truly, it is one of my favorite things...I love that I can document our lives for my kids...that I can share and stretch myself.  I love all of the great people that I have met because of it.  My blog life is full of great stories.  I can't imagine what will ever make me stop.  

My least favorite part is that blogging opens you up to the backlash of others.  Whether you deserve it or not...and generally I think that most do not deserve it.  My generally policy is, if you are going to say something that goes against what someone else believes...sign your name to it.  If you are going to criticize and be unkind...sign your name to it.  Otherwise your words are hollow and meaningless.  Coward like.  I realize that I am currently working on a series by anonymous bloggers...however these are sharing hurts and pain and are not meant to be daggers to anyone.  There is no maliciousness involved. 

Recently I received the following "anonymous" email.  I say "anonymous" because if you have any brains in your head you can pinpoint the exact address of any "anonymous" email.  True story.  So if you, and you know who you are, have ever sent me some "anonymous" ugly...just know, I could send you a Christmas card if I wanted to.  Back to the email...here is what anonymous had to say:

"if youclaim to be such a christian  (a good one)  you sure talk alot of negative stuff all the time.  i would love to belong to your chuch.  but you will et what is coming to you ne day"     

Now other than terrible grammar (I have a thing for correct grammar and spelling), this email doesn't bother me in the least...at least the content does not.  What grieves my heart the most is the poor soul behind it.  What makes a person so hurt that they take time out of their day to lash out at others in such way?  What pain has brought them to the point that they feel the need to take a jab at a stranger?  Whatever it is makes me so very sad for them.

So instead of getting angry and defensive, which is something that not so long ago I would have done, I choose to pray for them and have been praying for them since I got the email.  And I am sharing all of this so that you can do the same.  Can we all come together for this stranger and ask that God show up in their life in a big way?  Can we pray for healing and light in their life?  Can we pray that God shows up and grips them in His mighty hands and has His way with them?  I'm serious.  Will you take a moment and pray for a stranger?   

And pray that they will get what is coming to them one day...grace, mercy and a love that knows no end.  



Megan said...

You inspire me.

coolkids said...

wow. Its pretty sad someone has time in their day to send e-mails out like that. I will pray for that poor soul.

Becky said...

what a beautiful response to a very ugly comment. I think you've handled this as graciously as you possibly could. it makes me sad that someone would feel your blog is the place to find a reason to lash out against the Christian faith. it's even sadder that this person so misunderstands what belonging to Jesus really means...as long as we are part of this world, there WILL be alot of negative for us to come up against, there WILL be hurt and disappointment and imperfection. if we didn't experience these, why would we need Jesus? why would we long for heaven? living as a stranger in this world (1 peter!) will mean we will always feel a little off kilter - not that we can't experience joy, there are endless reminders of God's goodness all around -but the exact point of walking with Jesus means we SHOULD NOT be perfectly happy in the here and now.

you are a blessing to me and many, many others!
keep serving HIM!

Jenna Allen | The Indecisive Organizer said...

I love that you responded the way that you did...because it's the hard thing to do. There are so many times when I would love to tell someone "like it is" but then I remember, wait...if I am a Christian, and I respond in that way, what then will they think of Christians in general? Such a powerful way to show Christ...being loving when others are not. :)

Anonymous said...

Way to take the high road. You handled this well! Love your blog by the way!
Have a Blessed day,

Heather at Blessed Little Nest said...

this does my heart so good. not just because it reminds me of how i want to react when i am met with unkind words, but because of the way you are encouraging others to do the same.
i big puffy heart you crystal.

Biz said...

As I wrote in my blog just yesterday:
"Christians are a multitude of people and we are at all different levels in our walks. I still fall. We all will, forever and always. We can try to be Christ-like but we will never achieve that fully. I think that people are afraid to allow others hurt into their own world for fear that it'll reveal their own hurt. We are a society that doesn't know how to deal with hurt."

So even though this person wants to judge your level of Christianity...know that the only person/entity that can judge you is Christ the Father. We have our negative days...it's true...some more than others.
This series you are doing is a blessing...people need to get out their hurt, you are helping more than you know!

God Bless you today and always!

The Pampered Mom said...

Love the pumpkins you all carved .. so cute. AND, I LOVEEEE your blog ... I wouldn't change a thing! Have a great day!

Kahler and Katy said...

Thanks for this sweet reminder. I never knew the potential hurt that could come from this person we all know as "anonymous" until I received my first ugly anon. comment... and OUCH.

What a wonderful perspective that we should all have. Thanks for the reminder! :)

Annie @ The House That Jade Built said...

I understand how you feel here. I had posted about my pregnancy on my blog to update my family & friends - we have some serious complications & our baby most likely has down syndrome. However, DS is fine - our baby isn't going to suffer through life. That day I got love bombed by strangers & received about 250+ messages - I cried it was so overwhelming to have so many supportive strangers praying for us and thinking of us. I had one single comment that I should abort & that I'm crazy. I just don't know where the hate comes from, but I believe the enemy has a strong hold on peoples hearts then they sometime realize. I deleted the comment b/c I knew it would outrage my family & friends, but I still can't get over the hate that some people have in their lives. Anyway - you have a great attitude about it :)

Donna said...

I actually like reading some negative stuff. It's nice to know that there are other christians out there who have human emotions as well, and have similar thought processes to me, and who are not afraid to say how they are feeling.

So many blogs are filled with 'super cute', 'sweet' and 'hearts' it starts to come across as a little fake. It's refreshing to read a blog that challenges the mind while inspiring me to be a better person.

Shelly said...

Good way to handle this! I had a similar experience with a friend of mine and her blog, and it really did make me feel sad for those folks who are so insecure or hurt or whatever that they took time to criticize others. Keep up the good work!!

Ky said...

You're a beautiful, christian lady and I sure hope you get what is coming to you one day soon. What goes around does come around and you are sure going to cop it when it's your turn for something beautiful.
Thanks for loving God so much that you share your heart and love for others here on your blog Crystal. Thanks for caring about people so deeply. xx

Kristin said...

It amazes me the misconception that being a Christian means life is all sunshine and roses. Being a Christian doesn't make life perfect, it just means we have hope in Jesus to carry us through the rough times! And that kind of joy is completely different from happiness. I don't get from your blog that you are negative at all. We all have struggles in this life, that's why we look forward to an eternity in Heaven.....and that is what you will "et" that is coming to you "ne" day. Ha!

carlisle clan conversation... said...


A Little Of A Lot said...

Wow, that was one angry person who needs a lot of loving.

We just dealt with a bullying issue with my son, it was so hard to know what to do especially seeings as the boys are both 13. Finally I told B we just needed to pray for A, that for him to say and do the things he was doing he was probably angry and hurting about somethings going on in his home life, or he was being bullied also. My son continued being cordial to A despite all that was going on, I just prayed and you know what ? Saturday A apologised to my son, Sunday he phoned me and apologised for everything , he made me want to cry. I was right, there are some awful things going on in his home life, he was jealous of my son. He started off w/ "Ms Penny I know you don't like me" To which I stoppped him and told him I liked him just fine,that I didn't like his words and actions from the last month, i also told him he was welcome here anytime. He was at my house in minutes.
Often those that hurt others are hurting themselves and as hard as it is sometimes we just need to love them.
Good for you for taking the high road Crystal

Mao Mao said...

"Rocks in my path, I pick them all, one day I will build a castle" (Fernando Pessoa)

Jami said...

Well done.

Kim said...

Hi there,
I'm a lurker here. I have to say I'm confused by that mean email. I'm not even sure what they are talking about. If it's in reference to the series you've been doing I want to make sure that you know how much I'm treasured that. I have had a few tears over the messages you've posted anonymously for others. I know how that probably gives them great relief (and release) to share those feelings in a safe atmosphere. I've also prayed for each of those people. So, that being said, I'm praying for the person who sent you that ugly email. Seems to me like someone who is hurting and alone - inflicting that hurt on someone else so they are not so alone. That is sad. My heart aches for that person.
Just know that your blog is the bees knees. I love everything about it ... especially your honesty.

Craig and Steph Wardle said...

I have an opportunity to teach at my church a couple Sundays a month. Something I like to stress is when everything is said and done, and you have to look Christ in the eyes to give a report of what you have done AND haven’t done in your life, how will you feel with will come out of your mouth?
Only you know and Christ knows if you live up to your potential, which I feel is determined a lot by what you think and feel and then act upon. I know that I love reading your blog b/c of how it makes me feel. In a world bombarded by so much negativity and natural opposition to all things good, I assure you that you have made a positive difference where you have been planted. Keep it up.

Laura @ Our House of Joyful Noise said...

I am torn between praising your graceful response to your 'anonymous' e-mailer, and telling you how much I cracked right up (yup, out loud)when you said "...just know...I could send you a Christmas card if I wanted to." ROFL! (And I would REALLY, REALLY be impressed, if you really did!)

I have someone who always comes to our blog, via various 'proxy websites'/in their attempts to 'anonymous surf', because they don't want us to know how very interested they are in US, and OUR BLOG. So they think we won't know how much they are! It looks even sadder on their part, to know all of the trouble they are willing to go through with all of these extra steps and time consuming routes, to still come, while trying to hide it! I could send them a Christmas card too.

I see nothing wrong with what you are doing. I personally am taking the opportunity to pray for each and every anonymous poster who spills their heart and soul as they feel the need to do, for their hurting hearts, and for the healing peace of the Holy Spirit. And while I'm at it, I'll ask right here for yours, for some of the same for myself. Because my 'anonymous surfer'? She really, really irks me!

twolittletots said...

well said. i got a not so not comment a few weeks ago...and it really got to me. i just can't believe what people would say.

great post!

Colby and Jessica said...

Hi Crystal! I LOVED this post! Shortly after reading this I got a similar response on one of my blog entries. I hope it is okay, but I quoted your statement (with credit) saying:

"My generally policy is, if you are going to say something that goes against what someone else believes...sign your name to it. If you are going to criticize and be unkind...sign your name to it. Otherwise your words are hollow and meaningless. Coward like.

I didn't think I could say it better myself. I hope the use of your words on my blog is okay, and if not, you can e-mail me at j.fo19@yahoo.com to let me know and I will take it off. Thanks so much and I LOVE your stuff! :)

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