being shown your own ugly.

 This is a weird post.  
Brought together by months worth of this and that...sealed up by a recent event or two.  Are you lost yet?  Hang with me...I will get to a point.  

I'm not sure how to get to the cusp of what I want to say...so bear with me if I ramble.  In my history with Etsy I have had more than an item or two copied.  It has always bugged me.  For some reason Because of selfishness I have been possessive of my ideas.  Being a dumb, sinful human being I convinced myself that MY ideas were MY ideas.  And no one else was to have them.  Period.  They were mine. Mine. MINE.  I have sent more than one email to said copiers asking them to knock it off.  Always, as polite as I know how but still.  I thought *I* did the work to come up with that idea and only *I* should get to use it.  Dumb.  Dumb dumb dumbdumb. 

I have always tried to tread carefully near others ideas as well.  If I thought I was coming too close to *their* idea I would write them and run *my* idea about changing *their* idea by them before I ever dared to sell it or share it.  I have been shot down more than once with a (in a nutshell) "That's my idea, no."  

Bummer cause really it was an original idea that happened to be born off of another idea. 
Isn't that were all ideas come from?  

  I think there are some ideas that are just up for grabs for making your own...pillowcase dresses, fabric flowers, pillows with names on it, headbands, monograms, purses, bags, photo magnets, towels, houses, gardens, wearing clothes...basically if there are enough of them out there...make it your own.  Other wise we would all be driving around in Model T's, right?  Toyota didn't invent the car...just took an idea and figured it out for themselves.  Do we go around saying "Hey, planting a garden-wearing shoes-jumping rope-going to the store was MY idea!!!!"?  No, cause that is dumb.  Follow me? 

Some ideas are like that.  Some aren't.  Claiming that a photo someone else took is yours? No.  Copying and pasting someones words or design work? No.  
Taking ANYTHING and making it exactly as someone else has done.  No. 

I have never, ever used someones idea and called it my own.  Anything that I have claimed to make myself, using my own measurements and know how...is a true claim.  You can bet your life on it.  

But recently I was accused of that. 
This person was not ugly.  But I was shown my own ugly through them.  I saw that even though they were polite and nice...it held a mirror up to me.  And I didn't like it.   Though we cleared things up...it got me thinking.

What would Jesus do about someone using *His* ideas? 

Um wait...aren't they all *His* ideas?
 
Would I be proud to tell Him (if He didn't already know) that I had written an email asking someone to stop using *my* ideas?  No way.  I'm kind of embarrassed to admit that I did that now.  How dumb.  How foolish of me.  I don't want to be known for being greedy or unkind or selfish.  Because I am NOT those things.  So why should I be that way with my ideas?  Isn't every good gift from above?

And I have done it.  I have staked a claim in something that was not *mine* to claim.  
Even if I have formed a design from sketch to product.  It is not MY idea.  I have no right to be possessive of it.   ESPECIALLY if I put it on here for you to see...or in my shop.  Especially if I have never bothered to get an idea copyrighted...which if my idea was SO awesome I should have done...right? 

Duh.  I can SO CLEARLY see that what fuels that "minemineminemine" complex is my own stupid insecurity.  That someone could possibly take my idea and do it better than me.  Or that others will not know that it was MY idea in the first place.  Or that my idea will lead someone to thinking of something better than I thought of...and that somehow that makes me lesser.

Earlier this week my husband said "If you're not part of the solution...you're part of the problem"...we were talking about something totally unrelated but it clicked for me here.  

I need to purpose in knowing that my own skill and touch will stand out...and if someone takes an idea that I had...and uses it for their own...then THEIR own skill and touch will stand out.  

It's like I am trying to hold on to all this *stuff* and while I am busy holding on...I can't take hold of anything new...I'm so busy protecting what is *mine* that I can't move forward.

I don't know what this means for anyone else.  But for me...I'm going to stop trying to hold on to things that don't belong to me.  Consider yourself getting my blessing to go forth and use whatever ideas I have ever shared here or will share...I hope they do you well...and that you do well for others because of them.  God gave me every bit of talent I have...along with every idea and notion.  Who am I not to share it with others freely?

I'm not saying that I would write a book and let you publish under your name.  But I will, from this point on assume the best of people.  Assume that that they just like to create and make and sew.  And that mimicry really is flattering.   

I want to practice what I preach to my boys in this area...
extend grace and be kind and loving to others.   

BE the change.

And I want to live in a world where people extend grace, are kind and loving to each other.  And assume the best.  Always.  That's a solution I can get behind.    

Me being greedy isn't part of that. 

You follow?

(please note this is about ME.  not meant to apply to YOU...unless you want it to...then feel free but this is just my rambling about ME and changes I want to make in ME...but I welcome your (kind) feedback)

Pin It!

39 comments:

Bec said...

Beautiful, wise, well written and awakening. Thank you for being you.

Mormishmom said...

I hear ya. I've been struggling with the same thing lately. Trying to let go. It's hard! LOL

Kelly said...

I ♥ this post. Really and truly. Thanks for being so kind as to share your projects and your thoughts.

Jessica said...

#1: your labels are dork and Jesus. that made me smile :)
#2: i have felt the same way, but about cake decorating ideas. good luck figuring it all out.

Amanda said...

Thanks for being humble and sharing this! :)

Heather at Blessed Little Nest said...

this is awesome! i was just thinking about this subject (not you, but something different i read on twitter) and it made me think why do we feel like we came up with crafts? the craft itself has likely been around for hundreds of years, its just US putting our touch on it. i think you said all of that beautifully! and i think it is awesome that you are letting go of all the baggage so you can enjoy the happiness that comes from creating instead of worrying about what others will do with it. you have a unique style that is only yours and was given to you by God and I think you are doing a great job using it.

one more thing...there is a poster in our sunday school room that reads- your talent is God's gift to you. what you do with it is your gift to God. those words move me and they remind me of what you wrote about today. you are using your gift for good!

the Marvelous Mrs. M said...

I think that's very insightful- it's difficult to analyze ourselves that way sometimes. You have a wonderful attitude and I admire you for it :)

nikihas3 said...

Bravo!

La TempĂȘte said...

I so agree with you.

Many of us crafters come up with an idea on our own, at the same time as someone else. With sewing or other crafts, there's only so many ways some things can be done.

Complete rip offs are a no no, but just cause you are doing something similar does not a rip off make.

I have been thinking about this a lot lately!

xox

MJ said...

This is actually something I have been thinking about. If you make something (even if it is just a bag or so) and put it pn Etsy, what is stopping others copying the idea and selling their version that might even be better than yours? I have wanted to start an etsy shop for a while but this very issue is what has prevented me so far. I love my crafts and, like you, I can get a little possessive over them. Which sadly also means that my feelings will be hurt if someone swoops in and takes over with a better version. I'm just glad I'm not the only person thinking about this, and think it's great you've decided to go with it. Who knows what can happen, it might work out in your favour in the end!

Anonymous said...

That was a lovely thing-- to really see something in a totally new way--and to see a need to change, and resolve to do it. That is growth...that is the transforming power of God. I surf the internet a lot and see all kinds of awesome fabric projects. I saw something just the other day that looked like a project you would enjoy doing...but I did not send you a link because I had remembered some talk about copying others...so I just let it be. I am not a craftsman and don't really understand the etiquette of all that..but it seems if it is on a blog, it is out there to be copied, ...but courtesy says to give credit where credit is due.
Melanie

Mary Elizabeth said...

AMEN!!!! I love it when you let it loose and tell it as it is. You are perfectly right. What an amazing way to look at it.

yes it is hard, but as one lady told me years ago "you can't stitch for every person in the whole world, let others help spread the beauty and if they copy you it's just because they love what you have done and you should be flattered." (of course that is hard, but hey .. so true!)

keep rocking it crystal!!! :)

joyfullness said...

THIS WAS MY FAVORITE POST!!! Thankyou, Crystal, for sharing the change..it's one thing to have that change happen..but to go forth and share it, is so endearing..
So Fond of You..
Joyfully His!

Mandy [Mandy's Yellow Corner] said...

Beautifully said! I've been struggling with my heart over similar issues for a while now. . . when I make something that I feel is super cool, I feel so proud and unstoppable! . . . and then I remember that any ideas or skills or talents that I have are just gifts from God, and that I have nothing that is of my own. Thank you for the beautiful reminder of this :]

Maria said...

What a great post. Sometimes we have to go through difficult times to get to a place where change can happen in our hearts and minds. I have struggled with this issue in the past but realized that I have so many ideas, how can I ever move on to new ones if I don't share and let the old ideas go and inspire others? Lots of glass beadmakers have issues with copying, but I think if you just get angry and hold onto that, it prevents you from being the best artist you can be. Again, great post, thanks for sharing your experience and perspective.

Mainly a midwife said...

I think I get what you are saying. I was on Etsy and looking at some scrabble tile pendant necklaces.Very cool and I wanted to know how to make them. Some gal named Ryan was selling the "how to" do these. She had made thousands of the necklaces but also got tired of the rip-offs on Etsy. So she decided to sell the "how to" instead. Which I bought. And we're both happy! You might be able to do that... sell your ideas.

My name is Becka said...

You are so honest,
thanks.

Sherry said...

I always love how you word what you are feeling.
Also need to say that I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the label dork. I am always walking around calling myself and my close family, a dork or dorks. It is said in love and they all know that. Sometimes I forget when talking to others that they might find being called a dork as such a loving thing:)

Trish said...

i had MAJOR issues with this awhile back. Almost to the point of obsession! Now, I'm to the point of people are going to copy and oh well... it might not even be copying. I've thought up ideas and then when I search for them realize the idea is already out there, so now I just have to make it my own :) the only problem I would have is if they basically copy/pasted everything into there shop and put there name on it, to me that is just being lazy on their part! Otherwise, you said it beautifully and agree with you all the way :)

Anonymous said...

Um, the "if you aren't part of the solution, you are part if the problem" was my idea. I don't like it being used like that

just kidding. I love you and appreciate your hard work, candor, openness, and vulnerability.

What I love about you is that when we are taught these lessons you learn from them and don't go backwards. It makes me work harder and grow. So thank you

-the Doug

Anonymous said...

Thank you! There is a lesson out there lurking for me to learn. I keep asking *Him* why I am being tortured and please just let me learn my lesson. I think this has just brought me closer. Thanks...

Laurie said...

Remember copying or emulation is the sincerest form of flattery, albeit frustrating :)

Diana said...

I'm pretty much a lurker, but had to comment on what a meaningful post this was. We are all works in progress, all making excuses and having reasons for what we do. I've rarely met anyone who consciously thinks "today I'm going to do someone wrong." I hope people give me grace as I stumble along and I hope each day to give the people that cross my path the same.

lelu said...

I've been reading your blog for over a year now and just want to let you know how much I appreciate your openess. You are such an inspiration. You inspire me to reevaluate and rethink and be better. So thank you. And, by the way, you have fabulous ideas.

~ Lisa @ AbidingThere~ said...

bravo, crystal! :) xo

Heather at A "Love"ly Mess said...

I have been having one of those days where I am less than pleased with myself. This post really spoke to me. I am in need of a change, a redirecting of energy and purpose. I need to be a person that I am proud of a person who gives more grace. Thanks for being so honest and sharing. This post was perfect today!

Anonymous said...

Great post!! I admire your honosty. It made me take a look at my own self. So thanks!
~Trish

Alicia said...

I thought of all this just the other day when I was looking through sewing mags and books at B&N. These books are there to inspire me and the ideas these ladies/men have come up with are definitely a combo of ideas that have been collected through their research, learning, and doing. I definitely get inspired to do some of the things I see but there is a difference between inspired and copied.
I truly enjoy your blog and your creativity is definitely an inspiration which I think is something to be very proud of.

Alissa said...

You are such a lovely person and this was so brave for you to be so transparent to us. I must confess, I've seen several of your ideas here on your blog that I'd love to copy and make for my own child(ren). However, I'm not an etsy seller so I won't be selling any of it. So far, I haven't actually stitched any of it but I think your creative talent is amazing. You inspire me regularly!

jennoreilly said...

Good for you for coming to this realization, well put. Here's hoping your ideas are still inspiring people in 100 years!

NicNacManiac said...

I love reading your posts...they are always thought provoking and honest and it seems that you voice what is on everyone's mind at the time! Bravo for getting it out there!
You are an inspiration..be proud...it will come back to you in spades!! Happy Weekend xOxO

Miss G said...

And what if someone else was inspired by you to do something that would save kids in africa? that would be awesome! yea for more people on *that* bandwagon! I think this was a wonderfully well written post, Crystal! Kelly

Stephanie Cameron said...

I agree with you whole-heartedly!

Kat said...

Beautifully said.
I'm glad you think it is flattery... I sure have "copied" you! I think only one thing I've ever sold was from an idea I got from you, but I've made a few things I've seen here for gifts or for personal use. You are so talented, and inspiring. The mimicry is certainly a compliment.

Anna said...

great post. the whole blogging thing really has had me thinking lately, but in a good way. :)

Rebecca said...

Bless your heart! I completely understand where you're coming from and struggle in my own life with frustrations when people copy what I feel like are MY original ideas...but then I do try to remind myself that "imitation is the best form of flattery." :) And if I never share my talents & hide them, that wouldn't make me happy either... :) Thanks for sharing!!

Anonymous said...

Just remember Solomon said in Ecclesiastes...there is no new thing under the sun. Thanks for this post.

Tracey said...

Ecclesiastes 1:9 (NIV)
What has been will be again,
what has been done will be done again;
there is nothing new under the sun.

Clearly from this post you totally GET that!

I am so glad I came across your blog today, I can't wait to read more from you.

Annette said...

Beautiful! We should all be so open to what God is wanting to do in us.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
01 09 10 11 12
Blogging tips