messy.

I'm not even sure how to start this post...so many things running through my head a million miles an hour.  I just finished this book...I started it when Aaron was born and JUST got to a point in my life where I could wake up an hour before the kids do to get some reading done that doesn't involve rhyming or the alphabet.  This book...will mess you up.  In the best way possible...but will mess you up.  

What got me wanting to read it was this excerpt that Sara posted:

I used to believe that in this world there are two kinds of people: natural worriers and naturally joyful people. I couldn't really help it that I was the worrying kind. I'm a problem solver, so I have to focus on things that need fixing. God can see that my intensity and anxiety are ministry related. I worry because I take His work seriously.

Right?

But then there's that perplexing command: "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!" (Phil. 4:4). You'll notice that it doesn't end with ". . . unless you're doing something extremely important." No, it's a command for all of us, and it follows with the charge, "Do not be anxious about anything" (v. 6).

That came as a pretty staggering realization. But what I realized next was even more staggering.

When I am consumed by my problems - stressed out about my life, my family, and my job - I actually convey the belief that I think the circumstances are more important than God's command to always rejoice. In other words, that I have a "right" to disobey God because of the magnitude of my responsibilities.

Worry implies that we don't quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what's happening in our lives.

Stress says that the things we are involved in are important enough to merit our impatience, our lack o fgrace toward others, or our tight grip of control.

Basically these two behaviors communicate that it's okay to sin and not trust God because the stuff in my life is somehow exceptional. Both worry and stress reek of arrogance . . .

Why are we so quick to forget God? Who do we think we are?

Um...wow. 
It goes on to mess you up even more.  It challenges you to live your faith. LIVE it.  Not be touched on Sunday and go about your week.  To make yourself uncomfortable and truly give your life over to God...to put yourself in positions where God HAS to come through or you are in big trouble.  

Sounds like a fun read right?

I'm starting it over.  It terrifies me but I have to read it again.  I ended the book with this thought: "Ok Lord, now what?  What do you want me to do?  How can I live my life more in a way that makes you happy and that helps YOU shine and not me?"  

It has changed how I look at my list of "needs" of "wants" my complaints, etc. 
  
It has me thinking "Would you talk to Jesus like that?" before a word comes out of my mouth. 

 It has me humbled and waiting. 

Read it if you want to get messed up. :)

*~*

On another but similar kind of note.  I managed to get to our new church yesterday with just the kids and me.  Doug has to work every other Sunday.  I know that many folks thought I was doing wrong by our family by not going to church while Aaron was still napping mornings...but the last two Sunday services have encouraged me that we did the right thing. 

If you missed the conversation...my kids have never been babies who could miss a nap.  They are either in bed within five minutes of their due nap time or they are screaming their heads off.  We made a choice that we would not try to go to church until Aaron gave up his morning nap and we knew we could go peacefully.  Some folks even told us we would do irreparable damage to our boys for missing this time in church.  I obviously disagreed. :) 

If we had chosen to go...I feel like we would be worn out right now.  Dreading Sunday mornings and the days that followed...because we knew that Aaron would scream the whole time, be thrown off of schedule and we would spend days fixing it...just in time to start over.   And that dread would spill over into other areas of our life...and onto Moses too.

Instead...the last two Sundays have been SO sweet.  BOTH boys just go into their rooms peacefully, quietly, happily and even eagerly.  And I have cried through the first half of both worship services...overwhelmed by the presence of God and His touch on our lives.  And before we leave the parking lot Moses is checking to make sure that we are coming back the next week. 
That doesn't sound like irreparable damage to me. :) And instead of dread spilling over...it is joy, peace and happiness. :)


   So that is my crazy messed up head at the moment.  :)

I am off to finish a quilt for my favorite niece. :) And I am currently taking orders for the next hoho monster batch (just email me!)...thanks to all who bought up all of the last ones within MOMENTS!  You guys rock!
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10 comments:

Stephanie said...

Wow! It's amazing that a concept that you would think would be so easy to realize and remember would be so far from our minds. That book sounds wonderful.

I think it sounds like you did the right thing with church. You have to do what you know in your heart is best for your own family.

Sandra said...

I remeber "those days" when getting children ready for church was a real hassel; but I can say that the blessings of delighting in the Word far exceeds any 'challenges'. Keep on Keeping On!

zippy said...

After a weekend feeling a bit 'down in the dumps' because I spent entirely WAY too much time feeling inadequate as a wife and mother because I was focused on all that I'm not and don't do, instead of all that I am and all that I do, this hit the spot! It's not about ME, it's about HIM and how I use the time in life that I've been give to honor HIM. Thank you for the gentle reminder. I don't know that I'm ready right this second for a read like this book, but I will put it on my list.

forever folding laundry said...

I was listening to this very chapter last night. It struck a chord - big time. Makes me rethink how I'm living this vapor of a life of mine...in a good way. :)

And, as usual, your monsters are adorable!

~Keri

Tiffany said...

I am in the middle of this book. My husband read it first and God used it to change his life in a powerful way. Love it. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I can't wait to get through. I want to be messed up! : )

Parrotts said...

Wow...this book sounds like something I need...thanks.

as for naps and church, I agree. If Paige doesn't get up in time for me to get to choir rehearsal, then I don't go, and wait until the later service. Happier for everyone, and guess what...God still loves us!

SarahRachel said...

Okay, definitely need to read it. My mom and sister both have and really liked it and I've wanted to for awhile, but you sent me over the edge. I'll buy it. =)
Glad ya'll are loving church!

Sandra said...

Oh yeah! I am so glad you are reaping the benefits of boys who are happy to go to church.
And the book sounds very interesting. I'll have to look out for it, if I'm up for it.

Cole said...

I just posted something about this book. It changed my life for sure.
http://lettersfromcoco.blogspot.com/2010/04/crazy-love.html

Lisa Groves said...

Hi! Just found you off TCB! Congrats! I am lovin ur ideas! Then I saw Crazy Love. How cool is that?! My husband is in a prayer group with 5 guys every Friday morning and they went thru Crazy Love chapter by chapter. Great group discussions! He loved it and i loved the changes! I'm coming back to visit soon!!!!!!!!!!

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