I don't receive that...

OK. Something I don't get...but that has been bugging me lately.
Stick with me...this may take a while. :)
Almost since the day we found out we were going to be having our second child the theme of conversation that often times (not always) follows is along the lines of how my life will officially be over when the new baby comes. Goodbye shop. Goodbye blog. See ya emails and facebook. Adios to showers and making dinner. And a DEFINITE so long to making anything remotely crafty ever again. I have received countless inquiries as to when I would be closing down the shop (for good), if I will stop blogging or doing any of the other things that I love to do. I have had offers to BUY my crafting supplies!!! For most people, when I tell them that I don't plan on stopping any of these things on any kind of permanent basis, they reply...Oh, we'll see. Yes, we will.

The saddest part to me about these comments...is that, for me at least, they come from other women. I have yet to have a single man ask me when my life will cease to have anything to do with anything but my little boys and husband. What baffles me...is why do women, other mothers, feel the need to pour negative into another mothers life?
Isn't it just as easy to say something positive? Who else knows how hard it is to be a mom...than another mother? Why not just say...good for you...good luck...I'll be praying for you!?
Now before you go and think it...YES, I realize that life will be different, time will shift, priorities with change a bit and we will have to find a new normal once we bring our newest family member home. I realize all of this. But I also know that as Doug and I were praying about when we should start trying to have our second...and felt like it was the right time...that God did not give me an ultimatum. God did not say to me..."OK, Crystal..you can have this second baby...but that means that you have to give up on the other desires and dreams that I have placed in your heart." This I know. And this is NOT about me thinking I can have it all and do it all...it is about me having ALL that God wants for me...and doing ALL that He wants me to do.

So lately, as the negative comments continue...I have learned to smile and nod and say to myself..."Lord, I don't receive that". And move on. God has also been showing me lately all of these wonderful examples of women...who I know...who are loving, caring fabulous mothers to multiple children but still successfully pursue the dreams that God has given them.

And then I also think of Mary, mother of Jesus. Yes, she was the mother to the Savior...but do you think that was her only job? Do you think God told Mary..."Now I am giving you this baby, my one and only Son and you are to do nothing but take care of him and dote on him and give him all of your time"? I don't think He did...Mary had a husband...and children...and a home to care for...and I am sure she had things she enjoyed doing too...knitting, gardening...racket ball...who knows...but I am sure that there were other desires and dreams that God had given her as well. :)

I don't think that God's dreams for us have to be one dimensional...I think that pursuing more than one dream at a time is healthy and normal...IF they are dreams that God has given you. It's not like you have this ONE pie to share and the more you give to one dream (your kids, husband, etc) the less you have to give to another (hobby, business, etc)...this is like endless wonderful pie here. :)

And I refuse to believe that life ends at baby number two. :)

And that is my rant for the day. :)

Refuse to receive the negative...regardless of where it comes from. The more you DO receive it...the more you WILL believe it...it's harder to believe something that you refuse to receive. :)

I hope you are well...that your Monday is blessed and that you receive something positive today! :) As always I would LOVE to hear your input.

This week there will be a giveaway...a kiddy craft...a sale and lots more. :)

xoxo
Pin It!

47 comments:

Emilie said...

I heard that with my 2nd and 3rd, too! When #3 came along, I prayed about closing up shop and decided that we needed to wait on that. I have my own business, but it has actually grown since our 3rd was born a year ago. The husband and kids always come first, but with that, the rest of life has followed. I think it's about owning your life, not the other way around :)

Mummy McTavish said...

That's great that you have chosen to keep going with the things you love. I see so many mums believe what they are told and give up a part of their identity because they are told that it can no longer be a part of them. It can and it should. You have a great outlook, please make sure you pass that on to the next mum-to-be that you see, she may just have been told the negatives and needs one person to encourage her to keep going! Life is hectic with two boys but it's the best hectic EVER!

jac said...

I think you are absolutely right!! Go on doing what you think is right and when other people think differently, well let them. We only have to justify our selves to One!

Naptime Crafts said...

Crystal, No one has told me that yet, but I just started taking online classes from a college out in Kansas to earn my Masters degree so I will be better qualified to start teaching again once the little girls are off to school. I know it will be hard, but I am planning on taking 2 classes each semester, including Summer, and being done in the Fall of '10. It is something that I have always wanted to do and if God hadn't wanted me to do it then he wouldn't have given me the opportunity by being accepted to the program (I was barely pregnant when I applied to the program) I am sorry that women have actually come out and asked you these questions. I believe in giving my family my all, but there is a saying about if Mom's not happy then no one is happy. Well, in order to be happy you have to do something that is for you. Only doing for your family is such an old fashioned idea and I'm sure it does work for some women but not for us! Good luck with your last couple of weeks, and keep smiling!
Holly

Margaret said...

I don't believe God wants us to just be parents. I think he gives us other interests, so we can meet new people through those interests. This way we can share his word and love with others. If all women just stayed at home all the time and were strickly parents and wives a lot fewer people would here His message. I have read on your blog where you share the Lord's message, and I am sure that is very pleasing to Him.
I have two kids ages 4 and 20 months. I love them very much, and make sure to spend lots of time with them. That isn't my only role though. I am a wife, college student, Sunday school teacher, blogger, and Etsy shop owner. Sure it was harder to do all these things once our second baby was born, but not impossible by any means. Just keep following what you feel the Lord wants you to do, and you'll be fine.

Sorry for such a long comment.

Amy Bell said...

i have 2 kiddos...2 boys at that...and i have a shop. my crafty times are the times i feel like a girlie...and the odor of glue replaces the toots of boys! :) i agree with your post...don't take the ticket when the Lord has not asked you to...there always is a little unknown with a second baby...but, you know...wait. and, if the Lord reveals otherwise...then, take those steps then.
when i was pregnant, i gained a HUGE amount of wait. it turned out that i have a blood disorder and complications that caused the weight...but, you know...it was bad. one lady in TJMAXX...actually ARGUED with me as to if i was pregnant with twins. with zeke, i was in bed for 2 months...after i had him....i was in target and someone patted my stomach and asked me when the special bundle was due...yep.
so, needless to say....ask the Lord. stay close to Him....and enjoy every moment. the bassinet can only be occupied for so long before it becomes a crib and big boy bed....enjoy it.

and, stop being so preggo cute! oh, those pictures make me smile EVERY time.
xoxoxoxoxoxo

Cary said...

Life does not end with the second. It is different and takes a little while to adjust to, but once the adjust is made (and by adjustment I mean getting use to having a baby around again), life goes back to normal. You will fall back into your own routine, you'll just bring baby along. My second loved to be held, so I strapped him in the sling and went about my business.

You just ignore those women that are bringing you down. You keep your positive attitude and you will be the one in control of your life.

You're gonna be just fine.

coraannedesigns said...

When I was pregnant with my daughter, a woman asked me if I was sure I wasn't carrying twins. When I told her no, just one healthy baby, she asked me if I had an ultrasound that proved there was only one in there. I wish I could have just been strong and said "I don't receive that" the way you are able to! I instead spent the entire day bawling my eyes out to my husband, mom, sister and anyone else who would listen!

Anyway, I just recently started reading your blog and am incredibly inspired by how your faith is integrated into every part of your life, even your craft! Your words are a great ministry and encouragement for so many of us, so thanks!

i love plum said...

Don't give up your shop girl! Slow down if you need to but don't give up! I regret not doing something for myself in the early years of having my girls. I truly think I would have been more focused, happier and a better Mom if I had taken the time to start being creative earlier. I believe if you've got that itch to do something artful, you've GOT to do it!

Your life won't stop after having children...It just gets crazier and more fun!

Don't listen to those haters...You know that old saying 'misery loves company'...you've got amazing creativity and you inspire others to be just as creative.

I'd truly be sad to see you give up and shut down. Take a break when the baby comes only if that's what you want and need.

xoxo

lori vliegen said...

i'm sorry that you've encountered so much negativity during what is supposed to be such a wonderful time! i have learned that when other people are unhappy with their own situation, they are quite eager to pass that unhappiness on to someone else...as if they think they're doing you a favor by giving you "fair warning" that things didn't work out for them, so it probably won't work out for you either! the good news is that God has already gone before you and worked out all of these details...and we know that there's nothing more exciting than to see God at work! hang in there! :)

sara said...

I agree....don't receive that!! You are right about there being a new "normal" and it does take time to get used to. We just had our 3rd boy 2 months ago and are learning what our new normal is. It is busy and good and overwhelming at times. But crafting is in my blood and gives me joy and I am slowly starting back into it. I do crafts here and there when I have time. I don't have the hours to devote to it like I did before, but I know that one day I will again. This baby stage is just a season and I don't want to rush any of it. I am just trying to let myself off the hook and not have huge expectations of myself. Anyhow, all that to say, don't give up your shop! Don't sell that fabric! Your life will not come to and end! It will just get better and richer. What a blessing little boys are!! :)

My crazy crazy life said...

Okay, love the post! Here's my two sense (not that you asked..tee hee)...I gave up a career 11 years ago to become a full time mother. My daughter was a complete surprise. My and my husband both had careers and we were not going to have children. So when she came along, I thought, there is no way I'm quitting my job to be a full time mother...well guess what...3 months after she was born, I put in my notice. My attorneys were shocked! 11 years later and 4 kids later (HA, yeah and we weren't having kids)... I am sad, joyous, anxiety ridden, giddy (all wrapped into one), that I gave up a career and became a mother. Can I do it all??? I used to! Can I do more if I choose...of course! You can do whatever you want and don't let anyone tell you differently. I was just told the other day..."Anxiety is individualized"...SO TRUE! What one person can handle, another person cannot. You seem like a very strong person. You can do it! But, if you choose not too, then so be it. But it's your choice and what other moms and women might find difficult, others relish at the challenge. It doesn't make anyone in particular "less than"...it just makes us unique in our quests. Good luck to you!
(I'll get off my soapbox now)...love the blog!!!

Jessica said...

yes yes yes!!! thank you for this post miss crystal. the moms at work are always saying "wait till you have children. you won't want to be a stay at home mom ... you won't be able to craft ... etc etc etc ..."

thanks for some thoughts from the other side of the fence. i like your side better! :)

ps - the thought of mary playing racket ball made me laugh out loud!! :)

Kristi said...

I am far less organized than you and somehow manage to keep creating and blogging. I have no doubt that you can do the same and be even more productive with two than I am!

Smith Family Blog said...

I know what you mean! I've had people ask me how much time I am taking off when #2 arrives, and when I reply "6 weeks off, then 4 weeks part-time," they just shake their heads and look sad. Gee, I thought that was a long time off...

And it's not like I am going back to an office and the kids to daycare... I work from home, for goodness sake!

Warm Winters said...

I know you'll get a lot of positive comments on this particular entry, but I want to share something with you. I've been reading your blog for a while now, and have never commented, but I love it! You actually are the one who inspired me to open my own Etsy shop, and I've made 2 sales, which I am so grateful for! I, too, have 2 children, 3 & 1 who are the cornerstone of of my life. Please don't give up what you want to do, although you may slow down a bit. Just remember that newborns sleep A LOT! Good luck to you, and you are in my prayers!

Lipstick and Laundry ~Jen said...

That is very sad... I have 4 YES 4 boys and I craft more than EVER... Each additional child has brought additional love and laughter, but has not hindered our family, in fact my first two are less than 2 years apart, and it was a breeze!
I wish MANY more blessings and lots of blogging and crafts!

Laurie said...

I have been going through the very same thing the last few weeks, as I'm pregnant with my second and I work 3 days a week, which is flexible (with the help of my awesome mom and best friend) and try to keep up with my craft time. I've been getting a lot eye rolls and "good lucks" when I tell people I plan to continue, but honestly I can say it makes me a better wife and mother to have that time to do what I love and have been called to do. You've gotta have something to refresh and recharge. You'll do great! Plus I would so miss your shop and adorable creations!

Ginger@From The Cocoon said...

You Go Girl!

I have 2 children (both now teenagers) and I have never had to give up my dreams and the life God has planned for me. Sure, things changed some, but I learned to incorporate my children. They were there when I was a runner-up at the Mrs. Arkansas Pageant....they've watched mom play volleyball for a women's league....they attended my Nursing School graduation...and they've learned that I will always be there in their corner, but that the world does not revolve around them...I think that's healthy.

I will be praying for you as the day gets closer to adding a new family member!

Sara said...

Life does not end with the second baby. Or the third. Sure, there will probably be a couple months where things are harder, but after that, you'll be fine. I have three kids, and I still have the time to craft, and blog, and enjoy my time as a mom. It's not like life stops!! You have so much energy and desire to do crafty things, you'll be fine!

Meghan said...

i say you just do what you have to do...that's always the way. as long as you are happy, your family will follow suit. i'm a working mom and i have two little boys. i always dreamed of being home with them, but it hasn't worked out that way so far...but we make the very best of every day and that is a blessing to just be OK with what you have and do. however much or little:)

ps i've been peeking in on your blog from time to time. i think i found you from something meg said on whatever...you are very creative and i love your etsy shop too. have a great day:)

art by naomi said...

Hi Crystal .... have been visiting but never stopped to say Hi so Hi. Just wanted to say what a blessing your blog has been to follow. If anything having your children will add to your creativity and you are right not to receive any negative comments.
God is all about creativity and what He's put in each of us is meant to grow and bless. Just think of the Proverbs 31 lady - wow, talk about a woman filled to overflowing with creativity and managing her house at the same time.
What a great example it is to our kids to see us doing what we love to do.

Hugs
naomi

Julie said...

I have felt a bit of that since #3 joined our family. A lot of "I can't believe you are still blogging/ crafting with a newborn..." I do it because I love it. It doesn't mean that I love being a mom any less. I make it a priority, and I also make sure that my other priorities don't fall behind because of it. I am sure there will be seasons when I can't, but for now it is working for our family. Thanks for sharing your heart, it makes me realize that I dont' have to explain myself.

mommyholly said...

Good for you, Crystal!! Having another child does not mean you have to give up things that are important to you! You will just have to welcome in that new little one into your lives and everything else will fall into place naturally! Crafting is possible with more than one child!! :) xo!

Stephanie said...

I had to listen to all of that when I got pregnant with my second, and I have proved everyone wrong, just as you will. I'm glad to hear that you have such a great attitude about it and you aren't letting other negative attitudes affect you.

Elise said...

I have 3 and life didn't end. I don't know why someone would say something like that anyway.
Happy 2nd baby to you!!
Elise

Debra said...

Keep going strong and do what you love!!! Congrats on the baby too.

meg duerksen said...

you can do anything you set your mind to crystal.
but you already knew that.
kids don't make the difference...it's what you tell yourself.
you are amazing to me. and this baby is so blessed already. :)

Michelle said...

Right On from a mother of four and hopefully one day 5 who still continues to dream!

Molly said...

I don't understand the negativity these days. When my mom decided to adopt my brother and sister when she was 40 everyone told her no, you don't 2 babies, you have your own salon , it will wweigh you down or that baby is deaf, you don't want to deal with that. I wish people would be more positive and thankful for others. Its very hard to get a baby through foster care but to get 2 is a blessing. My mom's business has actually grown in the past 12 years since she has adopted them. I couldn't picture my life without them. You will have so much fun with 2 babies you won't know what to do. I'll keep you in my prayers.
~Molly P

Courtney said...

awesome! thanks for this. and you're right on! just take it one day at a time. but, knowing the little i do about you, i don't think you'll slow down much. i do WAY more now with 4 kids (other than being a mom) than i did with 1. God's grace just seems to grow more and more.

but how very wise you are to realize this at this point. it took me awhile...

Trish said...

Okay, if someone is telling you that it's because they want you to be miserable just like them!

Who in their right mind would give up what they love to do? I mean you have to have an outlet, whatever that is!!! I don't care if you are supermom or not you need a break and time to yourself that is ONLY for you!

For a little inspiration, I have two kids one with a major physical disability, and one that is hyper as all get out and I still craft, blog, take weekend trips with my friends... you can do it, YES you can!!!

Not to say there won't be a season of time-out from "normal" life, but you will bounce back, I just know you will!

Having a great monday, by the way, and I love that you think Mary probably played racket ball :) Maybe, bowling with a rock and logs?

Lace said...

Good, I'm so glad to hear that you don't plan on dropping off the face of the earth because you have two kids!(That thought never even crossed my mind!)

lelu said...

Life definitely doesn't end after your second baby. Thank goodness! I had my fifth in April and still craft and decorate and teach piano lessons. And I love to curl up with a good book. The fabulous thing about life is that we all have choices. We can choose to take what we've been given and run with it and be blessed by it or we can dwell on the negative. Just think how much better your life is for recognizing your blessings and following your dreams. Good luck with your newest blessing!

~Mama Skates~ said...

my son was 2 when my daughter was born...and she was 15 months old when my 2nd daughter was born...3 kiddos, under 4 & less than a year later, i BEGAN my side cake gig (www.sharoncakes.com)! of course, my world still revolves around my family - they come waaay b4 cakes! but the Lord has blessed me with this wonderful talent - a talent that i love 2 share! i keep my priorities in check, & remember what's important - but i never define myself as ONLY a wife & mother!

ccp said...

i'll make this short and sweet.

"i can do ALL things (not just some things) through Christ who strengthens me"

you know i love you :)

ArtGirlBlue said...

Life is about balance.

Thanks for reminding me not to accept those negative things. :)

Miss G said...

I am glad you posted this, Crystal. I wish I'd been better at saying, "I don't receive this" when i was a single. People can say some pretty thoughtless things to singles but the thing is I didn't need to take nearly so much of it to heart as I did. Kelly

Ashley said...

Right On!
As I am not a mother, but I do agree with you.
There is no need to close up shop.
Naptime is key, and yes that's when you will shower/cook, but hey- crafting is relaxation too!

You might not be selling as much stuff as right now, but you go right on with your crafty self!
You are an inspiration, don't listen to all those Debby The Downer's out there. Most of them wish they could have the talent and time you have.
You will make time, I know it!

And, if Mary did play racket ball I bet she kicked butt!

Shannon said...

I just became an official "follower" to your blog although I have been reading it for a few weeks (and love it BTW). I too have one little boy he is 17 motnhs old. Your son is adorable and congratulations on your soon to be new addition. I felt more than compelled to write this evening because your post is really profound. I had to tell you that since you have posted this new music on your page-whenever I read your blog lately, my son runs up to me when the song "you are the best thing" starts to play. I turn the volume up-pick up his little chunky self, and we dance and sing this to eachother around the living room-All because of you and your page. My point is-I read your blog because I am inspired to-inspired by a strong beautiful mother/person. I agree with wondering why sometimes other women shed negativity onto another woman-when we all should be uplifting to one another. So-(I know Im babbling tonight)but...I wanted to write you to let you know that I am uplifted in reading your blog-and thank you for that! I hope you are uplifted in knowing that because of your blog-my son and I dance together everyday-and I get to enjoy him putting his little head on my shoulder during these momemts. Know that my family is recieving your warmth-and praying for joys and warmth for all of you as well! So thank you. -Shannon :-)

Amber said...

Thanks for sharing your positive outlook. I think it's great that you will continue doing the things you love. Of course there will be an adjustment period and some things may have to slide for a time...but not forever. I know I would definitely miss your daily posts.

Kristen said...

Do I sense a MOPS talk coming?:-)

BlueJShop said...

I am not a mom, but most of my friends are. I've heard that having a 2nd child is way more work, however...One friend has 3 young kids and has her own successful business from home + she is very social and involved in lots of activities. My mom had me and my sister and worked from home. From what I hear it depends on the person and being strategic. Remember, alot of etsy sellers are moms! I'm sure you can figure out a way to do the things you love, it might just be in a different way than you imagined. We'll all support you in prayer and encouragement. :)
Julie

Jenn said...

what on earth is wrong with people!? You have the PERFECT attitude sweet Crystal! Ignore that yuck. Life will not even remotely be over when this sweet baby arrives. I STARTED my business right after my 2nd was born. I think it is extremely important to keep making time for what you love:):) My life is crazy hectic and a non-stop balancing act....but I am happy and in return my family is happy:) Don't let a drop of that negativity near ya. big xoxoxoxo to talented and wonderful you! jenn

monkeyseemonkeydo said...

I didn't have a shop or a business until my second. He brought me motivation. :)

~ Lisa @ AbidingThere~ said...

I just love, love, LOVE this post!

mama j said...

Phoey on negativity!!! All I can say--and this has proven to be true for me and so many of my friends who had #2 around the same time (we all had our kids about 17-20 mo. apart)--the first 18 months are all a blur--and I'm SO SO SO thankful for my camera and the fact that I'm a little OCD w/ picture taking. I wish I had been a blogger "back then" (3 1/2 years ago)--b/c even if it was only a tiny blurb I had written--it would have been recorded!! KWIM?

Take one day at a time. Some of those days-you'll conquare the world and be so fulfilled and feel so satisified....other days, you may not get out of your jammies or brush your teeth--but as LONG AS YOU'RE HAPPY...and your kids are happy and being taken care of--nothing else really matters! I go on "spurts" w/ my projects--some months, I crank out 40 12x12 pages, along w/ handmade gifts--the, I'll go through dry periods and won't do a single page for MONTHS! (Or, like now, can't find my scrap table!)

Thank you for sharing your <3. It caused me to reflect a lot on where I've come and I blogged about it, the other day.... http://scrappinmountainmama.blogspot.com/2009/01/blog-ah-ha-moment-i-dont-receive-that.html I am "adopting" (okay-stealing) your "I don't receive that" moto. THANK YOU.

And BLESSINGS....not good luck. My Daddy always says, "As a believer in Christ, we don't need luck. There is no such thing as luck. Just pure blessings." So, to you--I wish you blessings beyond anything your mind, body, soul or heart can fathom!

And HAVE FUN being a Mama of TWO! The most exhausting, but fulfilling job I have ever had! ;o)

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
01 09 10 11 12
Blogging tips