A Man, His Son, A Day, A Tote, A Problem

Ok, so there is a LOT running through my head at the moment and I really want to get it all out so I can think a little straighter...so you might want to go grab some coffee or a soda. :)First things first. We had a fabulous Father's Day weekend. I mean top notch, not a thing could have been better. Moses and I are blessed beyond measure by having Doug in our lives. He is such a wonderful man and father that it is often baffling to me that God choose him for me. Doug is far more than I deserve and I truly thank God for him daily. He is an amazing father to our son...his parents should be proud of the man that they raised!
Moses just adores Doug...follows him around, asks for him when he is not there, waits for him to come home from work...and Doug does more than his "share" of parenting. He is a hands on Dad...I pray that Moses will one day truly appreciate that and all the great things about his dad.
On Sunday we went to church and Moses was just a jewel. The best best part of the day was Moses dancing and clapping along to worship and spontaneously yelling "Yay, Jesus!"...melted my heart right away. The worst part of the day was leaving Moses in nursery for the first time. Yikes! Bawling and sniffling...it was tough...please tell me it gets better...Moses and I then took Doug out for a fancy lunch. :)
Then we piddled around window shopping...one of my favorite Doug traits is that he likes to shop. :) Meg I think of you every time I see this display. :)

Another favorite Moses moment was last night before we were putting him to bed...I asked him for a kiss and he obliged...only I didn't make the kiss noise so it was a silent one...he giggled and tried again, I gave him another silent one, more giggling, more silent kisses...then he looked at me, puckered and made the kiss noise...as if to say "this is what it should sound like"...then Doug did it to him...more giggling and funny baby...a great way to end our day. :)
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And today I found out that I am a featured artist on a local website. cvillestyle.com
How fun is that?
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And the winner of the loot this week was Bethany!! She was the first to guess 55 bouncy balls! Yay, Bethany!!...Watch out next Friday for another fun giveaway...and coming later this week...a super fun announcement...what will it be?
One more fun thing...check out the new market tote in the shop! Get it while you can...and if you miss it and need one let me know quickly...you never know how long they will be available. :)
And finally...a plea for prayers and advice. Do you have a yucky(for lack of a better word) person in your life? Someone who only brings hurt and drama into your life but no matter what you do or how you beg you cannot get them out of your life for good? I do. And I have tried it all...begging, writing, praying, ignoring, having others who are relevant to the situation write, pray, beg and ignore...but nothing. I was doing well and thought that this person was finally getting the hint, was finally moving on...only to receive another email from them. Yes, I could have just hit delete but I am an eternal optimist...I really wanted to hear them out and hope against hope that they had changed. This person has done nothing but reek havoc in my life from the day I was "introduced" to them via several emails they wrote to my then fiance' telling him what a huge mistake he was making by marrying me. So I read the email. And immediately recognized the pattern that they go through in my life...drama, accuse, judge, talk it out, friend, we don't live up to their expectations, drama, accuse, etc...repeat. And immediately felt yucky. Not knowing what else to do, I went to their blog...after days of digesting the email...to see if the change was true...if I should, like a fool, give them another chance. But no. More lies and judgments. This time, they stated that I didn't want to be their friend because I was jealous that I could see God pouring into their life and not mine. More baloney. I immediately deleted the email to remove the temptation to say anything to them...but it sits there in my trash can and mocks me every time I log in. The worst part is that they don't even know me. Literally. They have never met me. I am at a complete loss as to how to get rid of the yucky feelings this person gives me...or rather that I let them have the power to give me...I can promise that there is no malice in my heart for them, no anger or lack of forgiveness...I have long ago learned that un-forgiveness and anger only hurt the one carrying it.

Honestly the only non-positive thing that I associate with this person is dread aka yuck(dread for the drama and mess they spread). I just want to be left alone but that doesn't seem to be happening so this is where I need help and/or prayers. Is there something I can do? Is there a verse I can cling to to take away their power to fill me with dread? Give me anything you got that may help. I just don't know what to do anymore. If the answer truly is to ignore...then I need some prayer support to do that. Talking it out with them has proven over and over to not be an option. And a protective order seems to be taking it a little far.............just kidding. ;)

So please comment away...I am anxious for your replies. :)
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22 comments:

Simply Me... said...

what no runner up:) LOL I guessed 56!
oh well maybe next time, I'll come back later and read your posting for the day! I'm having a giveaway too!I'm thinking tonight I'll post for it please come visit...

Lanny:)

traci said...

Doug looks like hes a really great dad and one day Noah will "know".
LOVE the bag...all your little house projects are just adorable! As for the person that is causing you grief. If its someone you dont have to deal with than I simply wouldnt. I wouldnt and I would ask Doug not to...no phones no emails. If they write you snail mail I would put return to sender. Im just like you in the fact that if I read an email and see something I dont agree with I feel compelled to respond and TRY to set the record straight. It never worked with the person In my life...not once. So, its best to just not open them or you feel you must write back and let them know how they are incorrect. I can tell by your entry you are not hostile or angry...just frustrated and at your witts end.
Soooo, my little opinion is to just cut off contact 100% and ask Doug to please do the same. Since Im the first to respond it will be interesting to see what the others say. Love your blog!!!

Lindsay said...

I agree with Traci: cut them out. No contact, Delete emails, return to sender, block the number,block their email adress, whatever it takes. it doesnt matter. Make the concious descision that this person will no longer have any piece of you or your life and be done :) You will be able to breathe much better without them!

Trish said...

Oh man I guessed 54...better luck next time. Oh Bethany, I feel like I'm on the price is right and you guessed one dollar above me, you stinker :)

I would completely ignore them. Not to say they are, but if you give satan a foothold he can take over. Same for others, it seems that somehow you are giving them power over you, by reading their emails, checking the blog... They are probably aware of this!

I will pray for you to ignore them completely and hopefully over time it will get better!

Kristi said...

I do agree with the "ignore them" advice, but I know how hard that can be. I would advise reading the book "Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life" by Henry Cloud and John Townsend. Great book and it is biblically based! I was shocked at how I used to think I should act!

Another good book is "Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You"
by Susan Forward and Donna Frazier.

LOVE your tote (that is coming from a tote-maker!!!) I'm about to start another one but not with the cute appliqu├ęs which makes your so distinctive and cute.

Glad you had such a great father's day!!

Kristi said...

By the way, I borrowed the book "Boundaries" from a friend and ended up buying one of my own as a reference. My hubby has read it and loves it too.

Amy Bell said...

oh..loved the pictures. you all blessed...i am constantly amazed at how well trent fathers our kiddos...i am also reminded that at times i am critical of him and need to be very thankful...i should make a list of all things i am thankful for...he is truly wonderful.

as for the not-nice email...spam. spam them and let it go. i had to do that to someone a few years back. unhealthy is unhealthy and there is nothing you can do to change it...only God can...in His time...and His choosing...so unhealthy...have to stop believing the lies....

you know...i think it is creepy that they write you or about you or your family...really creepy. not like we are good friends from the internet creepy...:)...but a bad creepy....and scary. yuck.

ok, i have said enough. overall theme: spam em.

xoxoxo
your non-creepy internet friend:)

Molly said...

I would totally ignore them. They obviously don't have a life of their own and would rather reek havoc on yours. This person is probably jealous of you and your family. I'll keep you and your family in my prayers. ~ Molly P.

Bethany said...

Hiya Crystal!! Sorry to hear that you are having some not so fun drama to deal with. I wish I had all the answers for you...It is so easy to say just to ignore it, but the reality is that is easier said than done. I hope someone out there has the perfect advice for you! And I'll be thinking of you!

Love that first pic of Doug and Moses! So super cute! It sounds like you guys had a fun weekend!!

And YAY I won!! How fun is that?!! This little goodie bag seems super cute!! Makes me kinda want to do another give away myself!!

meg duerksen said...

oh honey this sucks.
totally.
i agree with everyone else.
block her out.
let her not be able to contact you.
if you see her name delete it...don't bother seeing if she'd change.
there is no way she could change enough in the next year or two even to warrant a conversation with you.
if she ever changes it will take years and years.
and you don't know her.
so let her go.
you won't miss the drama one bit.
but i absolutely understand that desire to see how crazy that next email will be. will it top the last one? but you can't.

and even harder...pray FOR HER.
i dont' know if i could...but we are called to do it.

i will pray for you...and i guess for her too. :P

and i LOVE those dishes.
i thought OH wow! when i saw it and then you said you thought of me. ahh.
take care.

Eric and Michelle said...

Looks like a wonderful Fathers Day. You know I know what it is like to have a yukky person in your life. Unfortunately for me they are related...I will pray.

Smith Family Blog said...

I'm sorry that I don't have any advice about your problem person-- not today, anyway. But that is the sort of thing that mulls around in my head when I can't sleep, so maybe I will have something to say tomorrow!

But today I can say that the nursery thing will get better. Our Moses has gained a best buddy in the nursery, so he doesn't even say goodbye to me anymore-- he just walks right in. I'm not sure that's better-- at least when he cried, I knew he needed me!

Scottie said...

Great Daddy/Son shot! Incredible photos - you have such an eye for angles. :)

Hmmm...I have a yucky person. Unfortunately for me it isn't someone I can completely cut out of my life or ignore. What I have to remind myself always in situations that involve "yucky person" is never to stoop. Isn't it amazing how quickly you can get sucked into the drama before you know it your on the edge of coming to their level? Remember that you're the only one who can control how you react to them...they can't make you do/act/feel in anyway you don't allow them to. Besides, if they haven't come to their senses yet, you're probably wasting your valuable insight on them.

Ok...and um...LOVE!!!! the tote! ;)

Anonymous said...

So you all liked the church you found? The nursery thing really does get easier and it's so nice to have that time to worship God with your hubby. As far as the negative relationship that you want a scripture/advice for. I will not give any advice and the only scripture I know on relationships is John 13:34; you'll have to figure out for yourself how to apply that scripture and what form love will take in that situation.

Kate said...

Block the email address & IGNORE!!! I knw how it must be, but the more you ignore & show it does'nt bother you than maybe the person will just move on!! This person must really have no life! To continuesly(sp) bug you. Just move on... can tell you aremuch better person & you are strong & can do it!

Simply Me... said...

I will pray that they will leave you along some people just can't take a hint... Looks like you had a great Father's Day... I'm having a give away hope you can visit and enter for it.

Lanny:)

Amy Bell said...

the tote is gone...sniff, sniff...the tote is gone. i will have to maybe get one next week...that tote is precious....precious.....seriously.

xoxoxo

Karen~ said...

You have the sweetest little boy, kids are wonderful...aren't they!!

Too bad this person won't stop the drama but let's face it, that's all some people want to do...just keep it going. Too bad they don't want to spread wonderful things but I guess they think that isn't as much fun. It really sounds like you are the type of person that wants to fix it or make it better. I'm kind of like that, I hate to end anything with anyone on an unhappy note. But like alot of people have said, some people you cannot change so maybe we need to try and change us and that we realize we have done all we can and the rest is up to them. Don't give them any power by replying, responding, anything...just take their power away and move on. God knows your heart. Have a great evening!

Karen~

Anonymous said...

I love how I'm giving the Fonzie aka Arthur Herbert Fonzarelli (yes, that is his middle name...) "Aaaay" thumbs up in the first picture.

Class 242 said...

You should ignore. In the past, with my "person" this worked....with time. When I first started the plan to ignore, I felt out of control because I wasn't
"DOING" something about it. After some time has passed and if you have been consistent, you will begin to feel better about your choice to just ignore them. Cut them out....100%.

This verse worked for me:

A scoffer seeks wisdom and does not find it, but knowledge is easy to him who understands. Go from the presence of a foolish man, when you do not perceive in him the lips of knowledge." (Proverbs 14:6)

Class 242 said...

Also, here is a site that I found while making a decision to get rid of "my person."

http://www.bible-knowledge.com/bible-friends.html

Hope this helps you!

Jamie said...

I'm sure you don't need one more person telling you to cut contact with those awful people causing you so much grief! From experience, it's best to have completely no contact. Put a block their emails & don't look back.

btw, Moses is so way cute! LOVED the church story! So funny!

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