My other love...

is in the garden. I could spend hours out there, pulling weeds, planting, watering, digging, arranging...making it all just right. I have worked really hard on our garden here in C'ville. It hasn't been easy, I didn't have much to start with but today for the first time, I saw the start of where I wanted our yard to be...I still have some work to do....three more hostas and a few loads more of rock and stones but it will be beautiful this summer.
Here are some of my favorite spots...
I LOVE nasturtium. I plant packets and packets of them every year. They are hardy, viney and downright lovely. They are impossible to kill. I love that.
Here is the window box under my kitchen window. :) It just seems happy to be there.
My mini-boxwood. I LOVE boxwood. This is by our back door, welcoming the back door visitors.
I love viney, spreading things. I think that has to do with my lack of patience. I want things to grow. NOW.
This goes to our back door. We have added spreading plants and stones for a cottagey like look. We have a lot of work to do on the fence.
I do this every day after I blog. :)
I built this wall. It's not done yet but it has already transformed how the back looks. I moved the day lilies to this spot last fall.

And here is what has been on my heart lately. Being a Titus 2 woman. And all that encompasses. Hand in hand with that I have been wondering if those that have fought so hard for feminism have realized that for as much as it has done good for women, hasn't it hurt just as many? I feel like the race to be "equal" to men has made hard for those of us who are ok with being submissive. The push for women to be equal in the workplace makes it harder for women to stay home in the first place. The strive to "be independent" makes being taken care of by our husbands unattractive. Does anyone understand any of that? I would love to hear some feedback on this. Am I the only one who feels this way?

EDITED TO ADD: I am not anti-feminism in that I agree with Sara in that the feminist movement has done a lot to improve the way women are treated. I just want the right to stay home or to be anti-feminist to be fought for just as hard as the right to be paid the same as a man. I know that in my college experience, I was endlessly railed for knowing then that I wanted to be a SAHM mom. I was told that I would be wasting my degree, why was I even in college in the first place if I wasn't going to use my degree, why would I want to let a man take care of me, etc. You get the picture. That is my experience with feminism. :) Sorry if I offended anyone. That was not my intention. :)

And. I have a dilemma for you. We live on a loop. The street is pretty busy, cars speed through on a regular basis. There are ALWAYS young (2 and up)children playing IN THE STREET. Their parents are never watching them. The kids often refuse to move out of the way when people come through--like the cars have some nerve being in the street. I am terrified that a child is going to be hit by a car but I am certain that these are not the kind of neighbors that I can walk up to and discuss this with...I am sure I would get a "mind your own" business kind of response from them not to mention dirty looks. What would you do to help ensure that these unsupervised kids don't get hurt?


Julie said...

Your yard looks lovely. Gardening is hard yet rewarding work. Talking to anyone about parenting is near impossible, defenses instantly go up. It is so sad that those little ones aren't being watched. I wish I had some magic advice on what to do, but I really have no idea.

Trish said...

I agree with you that the world is moving in the wrong my humble opinion! Sometimes it can go either way where I live, some get criticized if they are not a stay at home mom and I feel bad for those women if they choose to work or have to work, for whatever circumstances. I am a HAPPY stay at home mom, who is never at home:) Always taking my kids to and fro! I love it though!
I would not want to be the man, having to go to work, having all of the responsibilities that they do. My guy is a hard worker, thanks honey:) (he'll never read this though)

That's tough dilema with the kids in the street, do you have a neighborhood watch program?

Sara Luke said...

Where are you hearing this stuff?! Staying at home has taken such a huge cultural swing toward acceptance and I seldom hear anything in the media anymore but praise for women who choose to do this. If people are trivializing your choice to make your work taking care of your child and husband, chances are that they're envious or insecure.

Generally speaking, I probably lean more toward the feminists of whom you speak so *fondly*. :) I thank feminism movements for the right to vote, maternity leave, etc. I think equal opportunity regardless of gender has yet to reach fulfillment and we've still got a long way to go . . . no matter what it says on paper. I guess with any movement there will be good and bad and I guess I see the good outweighing the bad in this case.

I think it's important for men and women both to follow God's call on their lives . . . which is to bring Him glory in whatever we do. He's gifted us all differently, so I think it's safe to assume that fulfilling this call will probably look different for each of us.

That's what I think . . . thanks for asking. :)

Holly said...

What's up with parents who don't watch their kids!? Have you seen those "kids at play" signs or statues you can put in the street? If you put it right in the middle of the loop, the cars will absolutely see it w/o hitting it (or the kiddos hopefully). I've seen a super obvious neon 3' plastic statue that looks seriously effective. Feel free to email or call and I'll elaborate. =-)

Georgous garden. Love all your plants & flowers.

Education is never wasted! Doug and Moses are so very blessed to have you home. God Bless You, sweet Crystal. xoxoxo

Anonymous said...

Great job on the garden! I hope you don't mind me commenting a lot on this post.

I thought what sara luke wrote was really powerful:

"I think it's important for men and women both to follow God's call on their lives . . . which is to bring Him glory in whatever we do. He's gifted us all differently, so I think it's safe to assume that fulfilling this call will probably look different for each of us"

but I have to say I'm definitely an anti-feminist woman. I don't agree with their viewpoints, how they do things or even the objectives they want to achieve. I hear a lot of strife/am put down a lot for being a stay at home mom and wife. Maybe not from the media like sara said, but from my peers and people who are even supposed to be friends/close family. Not necessarily in a mean way but sort of like, "oh that's cute"...or they will say, "oh well I can't stay home because I am a ____?whatever career?" (indicating that those of us that choose to stay home must just not be able to have a great career). What they really mean is that they CHOOSE to not stay home becuase they feel they are called to do ____ instead. Sometimes people just make it seem like I'm lazy and like "oh her poor husband" which I feel is totally opposite! My husband wants me to stay home and agreed with that decision. I know it makes my husband feel so great to be the provider. I've been a working mom and a stay at home mom and I have seen both sides and neither are "easy" so we shouldn't judge that one is easier. Either way like sara was saying - we make decisions based on the information we have and what we feel we are called to do. But all that being said - I totally disagree with feminist viewpoints.

Something else I was going to say about staying home/working... I really believe that any family can live off of one income, if not immediately then to have a 2 to 5 year plan to: IF they choose to. My peers say they want what I have -- but they don't really becuase they're not willing to sacrifice what I am.

I believe that men and women were designed differently and therefore our roles are different in genearl. I love being a stay at home mom no matter what my family members or peers think.

so anyway ---- I could babble on and on and on about this.

you should check out:

and you should check out:

I think you'll like it. If you go to the sidebar and click on the links below, "Gain A Vision for MOtherhood"


"Challenging Posts"

those are both really great too. Have a great Memorial Day weekend!!!

Lorie said...

The garden is lovely. I agree 150% about feminism. It can be credited with a lot of great stuff (being able to vote, etc) but it can also be blamed for a lot of things as well (like the fact that everything is priced for a two income family). I love being at home with my kids. THAT is why I had children.

As for the neighbor kids in the street. If you really feel strongly and want to do something you can contact the city (not sure if it is the same where you live) but they will monitor the street and possibly put up speed bumps (or at least give out a lot of tickets that day and hopefully slow people down.

BC said...

What a great topic to discuss! I just wanted to say that I consider it a wonderful thing to be a woman, a wife, and a mother in the year 2008 and although it's a struggle to submit sometimes, I do think that God knew what he was doing when he designed Man & Woman in terms of giving them specific roles within marriage to create harmony.

I think it's a lifelong process to find that harmony (I've been married 3 years and we're certainly not where we want to be in the harmony department). However, since we both desire to fulfill the role that God has called us to in our marriage, we try to work at it everyday. I don't consider my role as a "submissive" wife or SAHM a step backwards in women's rights...I give my husband and I a lot of credit for working so hard to save and be smart with our money so that I have the choice to stay home with our daughter! Having the choice is what makes me feel empowered and respected and it also makes me take the job of SAHM even more seriously.

I happily worked in the corporate world for 7 years before quitting to be a SAHM and I never felt as passionately about that job as I do about the job of Mother, nor have I ever felt more reflective of God's glory than I do as a Mother.

Blessings to you all!

Smith Family Blog said...

I have to comment on the feminism part! I am a traditional feminist-- meaning, a Susan B. Anthony feminist (although, I haven't joined that group)-- meaning, that I support the right to vote, drive, whatever.

However, in the 60s, feminism took a swing for the worst. Instead of supporting women and lauding women for their uniqueness, the "new feminists" pushed for "equality"- which in reality has become "superiority" over men and a blending of the genders. This is not truly feminism, because it is not supporting women. It is demeaning gender differences.

Not only has this new feminism pushed women into the workplace who don't want to be (we've created a culture where you can't get by unless you are a double income home), but it has also endangered women. Abortion-- obviously the "epitome" of this new feminism-- is killing women. Over the last 35 years, study after study has revealed that abortion is hurting-- even killing women-- and at greater rates than when abortion was illegal.

You touched on a "tender" topic for me here. :) Having to face the attys from the new feminism movement on a daily basis (my daily foes include NOW and Planned Parenthood), I mull all of this over frequently. And the more I encounter them, the more it becomes clear that they do not truly have women's lives in mind.

I've also noted another trend with these women: none of them appear healthy. Perhaps because they are striving for something God never intended.

ArtGirlBlue said...

Wow. You certainly got us talking. LOL

Everyone has a strong opinion. I really feel to each her own. You need to follow the path in life that is right for you. And wouldn't it be great if not one person judged you for it?

Remember we are in this together.

blessedme said...

Love your garden and it totally reminded me to get some boxwood growing out on my front porch and in the garden.

I do agree with you on the perspective of being a Titus 2 woman. It is what I strive to be, even when I'm cleaning toilets and trying to potty train the wee one. I love that I get to be a SAHM and I LOVE the fact that my hubby is the head of our household, it's been a lot of work to get to this point, but I wouldn't trade it. I've gotten a lot of flack for the roles my hubby and I chose to live, but I'm doing what God wants me to do, that's all the acceptance I need.

I'm grateful for all the femininst movement, but I also see how it backlashes against my religious beliefs. I hold a degree and I'm grateful for that, but I enjoy what I'm doing just fine and appreciate all the work my hubby does so I can stay home with the kiddos.

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