I often wonder if other mothers love their children as much as I love mine. I wonder if other mothers wonder this too. I think I wonder this a lot partly because I am a mom and partly because of my history...my degree is in social work with an emphasis in child welfare.
Up to the day I had Moses I worked as a case manager with 25-30 kids on my caseload and I know that those kids were not as loved as my son. It saddens me just to type that but I know it to be true...most social workers could tell you this, though it is not true of all those in need of a social worker but for the children I worked with...And it is not that the moms didn't love their children at all because I am sure they did...to the point just before it became inconvenient to them. I think to show true love, of any kind, you must go beyond yourself and what is convenient for you to do. Do you know what I mean? The mothers I worked with would take care of the very, very, very basic needs (bathing is not considered basic) but anything that took away from "their" time was too much to ask. With many of my kids it got to the point that I would just focus on one thing with them...to be the ONE person in their life to do what I said I would do, show up when I say I will and KEEP the promises I made to them. 95% of my kids had nothing else like me in their lives. I loved to bring them back to my office and indulge them...with attention, with my time, with concern and care, with no distractions. They loved it. My degree and that job has made me a better mother because I have seen first hand how easy it is to break a creature as fragile as a child.
At least once a day I find myself wondering how anyone could receive such a precious gift as a child and not cherish it always! Not only is it amazing to me that I get to be Moses' mom, that GOD choose me to do that but that it gives me a tiny glimpse of how much God loves me. Because if I love Moses SO much, to the point of random tears, swelling pride and joy, infatuation and utmost devotion then how much more does my Father in Heaven love me? It overwhelms me to think about it. And makes me feel more love at once and from more directions than I have ever deserved or earned.
Each and every day is a precious gift with this wonderful boy and I pray that I daily remember that and never take a moment for granted. I kiss him, hug him, hold him, love him and tell him I love him at every chance I can... This boy will never have a day where he is not told he is loved and treasured.
What is something that motherhood has showed you?